There are errors in the translation for Futariboshi.


1:1-2 (verse 1 lines 1 to 2) are one sentence
The stars in the expanse of the sky are twinkling
as if they're blessing me
2:1 manten means "perfect" here. It's a play on words on manten "expanse of the sky" in the previous verse.
Surely you can't find a perfect answer
4:2 I think yoshikuzu is the subject of egakidasu
is the dream we trace → depicts our dream
4:3 katachi no nai is "formless" rather than "faint". I had "indistinct" in my translation, does that sound OK?

5:2 nomikomu means swallow, in this case swallow one's words, that is, stop yourself from saying them out loud
and end up swallowing my words
6:1 sotto probably means "quietly" rather than "gently" (since the speaker couldn't say it out loud). I think it might be clearer to rephrase it
Even if I try ten thousand times, what my heart quietly thinks of you
7:2 I think it's clearer to rephrase it
Let's place your name, and my name, on those stars

8:2 I think translation is incorrect.
"Let me be with you a bit longer, just a little bit longer"
9:2 furueru is an adjectival clause applied to sora
while I go beyond the sky that shivers in the darkness
9:3 katachi no nai (as above)