The translation is good on the most part, but the major difference is that all of the lyrics should be Nerine Komikado's perspective/inner thoughts, instead of some Yuzuriha, some Nerine. I believe this is confirmed by Miki Sugina.
I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense without context.... I tried to word things so that it does make sense, but how it turned out I'm not sure....
Link to Original Translation:
https://www.animelyrics.com/game/flo...forkedroad.htm
Link to Transliteration:
https://www.animelyrics.com/game/flo...forkedroad.jis
-----Explanation for Changes that Change Meaning-----
L4
その光を消さぬように 抱えてた
OG: I embraced it deeply so that the light won't be able to erase it
NEW: I held it dearly, for the light to not fade
Explanation: Here, the particle を is used, so light should be the object, not the subject.
L5-7
叶えられぬ願い 背を向けたあの日に
溢れだした涙 振り向くことはないと
無理に決めてた強がりも
OG: The wish that failed to be granted, that day when you turned your back on me
My tear started to overflow, so I forced myself to think
That there was no way for me to turn things around
NEW: The wish that can not be granted, that day I turned my back on you
My tears overflowed, when I stoned my heart
Not allowing myself to turn around
Explanation: 叶えられぬ/叶えられない is the potential form, so I changed it to "can not".
振り向くことはないと無理に決めてた強がりも makes sense as 1 phrase, and it being from Nerine's perspective explains her inner thoughts when she rejected Yuzuriha's confession.
L8
受け入れてくれたのは 一途に貫く想い
OG: The one who accepted me with that earnest, yet piercing feeling
NEW: Accepting all of me, was your unwavering love
Explanation: I interpreted the lyrics as Nerine feeling moved by Yuzuriha, who accepts her and loves her despite her flaws and past. Though the verb 貫く does mean pierce, combined with 一途 (wholeheartedly; all the way) and the context of 想い (which in this case, means love), the phrase would be more accurate as "unwavering love".
L16 and repetitions
分かれ道で もう 迷うことはない
OG: That we won't be shaken anymore when we reach the forked road
NEW: I will no longer waver at the forked road
Explanation: Continuing the idea that the whole song is narrating Nerine's thoughts, this line describes how Nerine has made her decision between her past/religion and Yuzuriha, and that she will no longer waver.
L42
誓い合う言葉を 忘れないで
OG: Don't ever forget the words of vow that we made
NEW: Never forgetting the promise that we exchanged
Explanation: Even though the -te form is often used for pleads/orders, I feel that in this case the nuance is closer to that in 忘れないで進む. The main reason is because the melody at this point brightens up and becomes hopeful, so I believe the lyrics should probably reflect a more positive connotation instead. The second reason is because the following lines also include the idea of moving onward.
L51
(見つめ合い 信じて)
OG: (Believing that we will see each other)
NEW: (Locking eyes, believing)
Explanation: 見つめ合い means looking into each other's eyes.
----Final Version--- (Includes rewordings that aren't mentioned, but don't change the meaning)
The seasons pass by, the leave tips change color
It colored up this heart, little by little
The sparkling time that we spent together
I held it dearly, for the light to not fade
The wish that can not be granted, that day I turned my back on you
My tears overflowed, when I stoned my heart
Not allowing myself to turn around
Accepting all of me, was your unwavering love
(uh uh ha)
Your warmth illuminated me
(I was illuminated by that warmth)
Because you always made this flower blooming in my heart shine
(uh uh ahah)
Exchanging our words, our vows
(The voice of vowing)
I will no longer waver at the forked road
The wind, growing colder by the day
Grazed against my skin, the leaves around me flutter and fall
Downcast from weakness, tears trickle like the morning dew
(Uh chilling frozen)
If only I could scoop up that fallen drop...
(Trembling fallen tear)
The sight that comes up, is not the scars of sorrow
But the joyful memories, which I want to continue gathering from now on
There is nothing to be afraid of if we are together
(Let's face it)
The words of truth, more important than anything
(uh uh ha)
I believe in what's within your heart
(Yes, I believe in you)
If it's still not too late, I want to dash off to you at this instant
(uh uh ha ahah)
Following the footsteps you left behind
(Following your shadow)
At the forked road, I will no longer waver
(Forked road unshaken)
(Forked road unshaken)
You have stayed beside me longer than anyone, no matter how trivial things were
You always noticed them and smiled for me
(You noticed and smiled)
Because you always made this flower blooming in my heart shine
(uh uh ahah)
Never forgetting the promise that we exchanged
(The voice of vowing)
Let us move towards the future that lies beyond
(uh uh ha move towards future that lies beyond)
If it's still not too late, I want to dash off to you at this instant
(uh uh ha ahah)
Following the footsteps you left behind
(Following your shadow)
At the forked road
(Locking eyes, believing)
I will no longer waver, towards the road my heart has chosen
(Our connected hands, let's go without releasing them ever again)
(Embracing the sparkling flower that indicates the change of season)
I will no longer waver at the forked road
(Our connected hands, let's go without releasing them ever again)
I will no longer waver at the forked road
---------------------------------
The post failed to post for the 1st time and I had to re-type the whole thing.....
I'm not sure if these would count as minor changes, but it isn't a complete new draft either since there are many leftover lines from the previous translation. I guess it's an in-between of sorts...?
Anyways, if there's anything I need to elaborate on or if I need to add explanations for the rewordings, feel free to tell me, I'll add it when asked.
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