AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Inochi no Uta corrections

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu's Avatar
    Gil
    5,536.93
    Gender
    Gifts 025 - Pikachu
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    09-10-2021 02:44 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Threads
    86
    Posts
    219
    AL Lyrics
    910
    Rep Power
    47

    Default Inochi no Uta corrections

    Inochi no Uta by Toraboruta-P


    The songwriter's name is Toraboruta-P, not Travolta.


    While open to interpretation, I think the first four lines makes more sense if they are all talking about the speaker:
    Being born in this world (translation OK)

    I live like this even now

    A lot has happened since then [i.e. since my birth]
    I'm still breathing even now (translation OK)

    I don't see how it makes sense to say, "after someone else was born ... I'm still alive."



    line 6 is saying that children grow up and are able to walk even if they are not taught.
    The small children who don't know anything (translation OK)
    grow up and get to walk on their own.

    line 7 maita means "sowed", not "want to sow"
    I sowed some flower seeds
    Hoping they'll bloom to beautiful flowers (translation OK)
    line 8 I found tricky. I think it means
    However, they do not bloom easily

    If you look up なかなか on weblio under adverb, the fourth sense "[not] by any means" is possible, but this contradicts sodateru in line 11. I think the second sense of "doesn't happen easily" works better here. You can sow seeds, but you need to look after them to make them grow.


    verse 2, line 2, minor point but "to me" is redundant as it's already in line 1.


    line 4, I think "jiman no ..." is better captured by "... [which] I can be proud of":
    Would I have grown a flower I can be proud of
    lines 5 to 7 are about the flower "hana wa ..." I don't think the speaker will sprout seeds!
    Though the flowers will wither soon (translation OK)
    I pray that they sprout a lot of seeds
    and entrust them to the next generation
    Alternatively, it could be a request
    Though the flowers will wither soon (translation OK)
    Sprout a lot of seeds
    so you can entrust them to the next generation
    but I think the first interpretation works better for me.



    Lines 8 to 9 are one sentence where akashi is the subject of uketsugareru.
    I hope that they also carry on
    the proof that I have lived.
    The rest of the translation seems OK.

  2. #2
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-02-2021 09:49 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    on AnimeLyrics.com
    Threads
    70
    Posts
    461
    Blog Entries
    1
    AL Lyrics
    223
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Re: Inochi no Uta corrections

    The first few corrections I'm fine with so I have made them, but there are a couple that I want to ask about:


    そんな日が来るまでに / 自慢の花は出来るかな
    Are you asking for it to become "Until that day finally arrive / Would I have grown a flower I can be proud of"? I dunno about the grammar there. Wouldn't "Before that day finally comes / will I have..." be better?


    花はやがて枯れるけど / 沢山の種を実らせて / 次の未来へと託すように / 僕が生きた証も / 受け継がれるといいな
    The way I see this, the ように is just the plain old "like" translation, and everything else after it is just a comparison to the first bit.
    It'd roughly mean something like "In the same way that flowers eventually wilt / but still bear lots of seeds / and entrust them to the next generation, / I hope that proof that I lived / is passed on too [somehow, not specified]"
    Is this a reasonable translation or not? I just don't feel like it's a ありますように pattern prayer, or a そうするように pattern command.
    Last edited by Fuukanou; 09-04-2021 at 09:16 PM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu has a reputation beyond repute Raichu's Avatar
    Gil
    5,536.93
    Gender
    Gifts 025 - Pikachu
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    09-10-2021 02:44 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Threads
    86
    Posts
    219
    AL Lyrics
    910
    Rep Power
    47

    Default Re: Inochi no Uta corrections

    Sorry I'm late to respond. Yes, I'm happy with both your suggestions!

  4. #4
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-02-2021 09:49 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    on AnimeLyrics.com
    Threads
    70
    Posts
    461
    Blog Entries
    1
    AL Lyrics
    223
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Re: Inochi no Uta corrections

    OK these changes have all been made then.

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. amazarashi - Inochi ni Fusawashii
    By Happyblossom in forum Lyric Discussions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-26-2017, 09:02 PM
  2. corrections
    By faif in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-16-2014, 07:56 PM
  3. 2 corrections
    By Hikarin in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-12-2010, 09:17 PM
  4. Dragon Ball Z - Sharereba Inochi no Izumi Wakuwaku! 2
    By Kikyosama in forum Shift_JIS Kanji Lyric Submissions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-21-2008, 09:48 AM
  5. Dragon Ball Z - Shareba Inochi no Izumi Wakuwaku!!
    By Kikyosama in forum Shift_JIS Kanji Lyric Submissions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-20-2008, 03:58 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts