Say Beauty from...
v1 line 4 ends with "koro" meaning time rather than place. So I would change "where" in lines 3 and 4 to "when".
v4 line 3 todoku is intranstive so I think it means "the voice drowned out in the crowd of people doesn't reach me."
probably a typo, v5 line 4 both the audio and original lyrics say yomikaeshite, not yomikakeshite.
UPDATE: also vv2 and 7 omoigakenai is one word. I think the translation is inaccurate, closer to "I looked at the unexpected nightscape".
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