AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

Closed Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Translation correction: Mirror

  1. #1
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-19-2019 05:26 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    This is why we can't have nice things.
    Threads
    59
    Posts
    269
    AL Lyrics
    142
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Translation correction: Mirror

    http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/mah...kou/mirror.htm


    This is a translation correction so please could you handle this @bluepenguin

    I'll proceed in the order kanji, current translation, recommended translation, justification (just in case).

    月明かり流れ込んで 影を並べた
    Our aligning shadows flowed into the moonlight
    The moonlight poured in and cast shadows
    [I don't see how the grammar led to the original translation, especially because 影 is a direct object]



    寄り添う心と心 重ねた記憶
    Cuddling heart to heart, memories built up
    We cuddled heart to heart and gathered memories
    [ok I'll admit this is more of a personal thing, but I don't think it's meant to work attributively in this case]


    キミの為に何が出来る?
    私がここにいる理由
    確かなことは一つ 結んだ約束
    What should I do for your sake?
    My reason for being here
    Was one certain, definite promise
    What I can do for you
    And the reason that I'm here
    All that's certain is the promise we shared
    [Original translation ignored 確かなことは一つ]


    曇りのない眼差しを 遮るものは何もないから
    近くにいるよ いつも 私にだけ届く声
    There's no cloudy vision to interrupt us so
    Stay close, always, send your words only to me
    There's nothing in the way to block your unclouded expression, so
    I'll be by your side, always says the voice only reaching me

    [First line is not treating 曇りのない眼差し as direct object to 遮る and also doesn't seem to have parsed 曇りのない眼差し right; second line was more of interpretation, I don't see 近くにいるよ as being a command]



    自分のことのように頷き合ったね
    We agreed that our fears were similar, didn't we?
    We were able to understand each other's worries as if they were our own, didn't we?
    [Looks like 自分のことのように was taken to be more like "akin to oneself" in the original translation instead of "as if it were oneself"; I also don't think the 頷き合った was translated right]


    たとえキミが疑っても
    私が信じているから
    ずっとこれからも”キミの代わりはいない”と
    Even if you don't trust me
    I believe you so
    From now on, let it forever be "There's no one besides you"
    Even if you doubt it,
    I believe
    That "there's no-one who could take your place" evermore

    [Original translation did not put the と phrase at the end together with the 信じている, also did not agree with the translation of ずっとこれからも]


    言葉にできなくても その横顔で伝わるから
    一人じゃないよ ずっと 胸の奥に響く声
    Even if words are impossible, from showing your face
    I'm not along, always, from inside my heart a voice echoes
    Even if you can't put it into words, I can tell from your side profile
    I'm not alone, always echoes a voice from deep within my chest

    [The top line is lacking the で伝わる in the translation; the correction in the second line is the typo and the 胸の奥 but again this is basically personal preference on my part]

    向かい合わせた素顔 今 キミの頬に手を伸ばすよ
    迷い拭ってあげたい
    With our unpainted faces turned to one another, I want to be the one to extend my hand to your cheek
    And wipe away your doubts
    With our bare faces turned to one another, I now stretch my hand out towards your cheek-
    I want to wipe away your doubts

    [I'm probably not going to push hard for a correction for this because it's probably pedantry, but the want is grammatically with 迷い拭って rather than 伸ばす. It would also give a chance for the 今 to turn up in the translation as well]
    Last edited by Fuukanou; 07-20-2019 at 02:04 PM.

  2. #2
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin's Avatar
    Gil
    32,435.27
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Mic Portal Companion Cube
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-08-2019 05:04 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mars
    Threads
    121
    Posts
    1,124
    AL Lyrics
    709
    Rep Power
    54
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: xenographer Steam ID: xen0glossy

    Default Re: Translation correction: Mirror

    These corrections look good to me. The contributor's profile says they last logged in in 2016 and while that can sometimes be inaccurate, I don't recall seeing them around more recently, so you can just go ahead and give me your full retranslation in an easily copy-paste-able format.

  3. #3
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-19-2019 05:26 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    This is why we can't have nice things.
    Threads
    59
    Posts
    269
    AL Lyrics
    142
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Translation correction: Mirror

    Thanks, here's my translation: https://pastebin.com/kR3ibt3G

Closed Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Boku Ni Invitation - Shirokuma Cafe (Translation Correction)
    By Mi Chan in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-21-2013, 08:18 AM
  2. ROOKiEZ is PUNK'D - Complication translation correction
    By Vinter in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-19-2013, 12:06 PM
  3. [REQ] Lyric Translation and Romaji Correction
    By KuroKyosuke in forum Lyric Requests
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-12-2008, 12:45 AM
  4. Gundam Seed Destiny - Please (Translation Correction)
    By shippothekit in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-12-2008, 12:01 AM
  5. Translation/romaji correction for Lucky Star OP
    By princessofpep in forum Lyric Corrections
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 01-27-2008, 06:39 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts