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Thread: Venus to Chiisana Kamisama

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    Lightbulb Venus to Chiisana Kamisama

    Hello, not sure the procedure on this, but I was just dropping by to offer what I think may be a better translation of this song. My translation is as follows:

    Could it be that the world
    Is made of precious fruits
    And the excited music of ragamuffins?

    What else was there, again?
    After that, there was...

    Pina coladas with mint,
    And stores that sell swimsuits and imitation flamingos.

    Fun things, and happy things,
    And sad things
    Are erased by the sun's music.

    On the beach in the middle of the Earth where I was born,
    This morning I imitate a peddlar and dance with a tiny god.

    Hey, hey, everybody
    Come on, come on

    Though everybody will eventually grow old and pass away,
    They will be born here again, so it will be lively.

    In the morning I wake up early,
    And for the first time on this island,
    For the first time, I will dance on the earth
    Before anyone else,

    The first song,
    The first laughter,
    The first joy

    Because, above all, I can give it to everybody.
    Because I can dance together with everybody.

    * Also, in the transliteration, in the last line "odoru" should be changed to "odoreru"

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    Default Re: Venus to Chiisana Kamisama

    http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/niea_7/niea7vc.htm


    Hello, welcome to the forum. First of all, if you haven't, please pass the animelyrics Japanese test here: https://www.animelyrics.com/index.php?action=jptest both romaji and english translation tests if you want the translation to be replaced under your name.
    Secondly, when offering corrections of any type, you must post a link to the page you are referring to (I prefer to do it right at the top in case I forget while typing the post ahaha). If you don't (and someone else doesn't post it for you), then it may not get corrected until you do.
    Next, the usual way of doing corrections is to directly refer to the line you have problems with, and explicitly pointing out the problem (but you need not explain why it's wrong) and offering a correction. This holds for both romaji and translation.
    However, while romaji errors can be corrected in most circumstances (e.g. when a kanji reading is wrong or there's a typo), there are some things you may personally consider an error that are not valid corrections such as in the case of particle readings (e.g. saying "ぼくは being transcribed as boku ha in line 4 should be boku wa) and in the case of the lyrics having written one thing and the singer singing another (e.g. いく being sung as yuku) where it's all up to transcriber.


    I see your problem is with the translation, however. In the case of a translation error, unless it's a typo, any other corrections usually need to be passed by the translator to see if they can justify what they wrote in case you're the one in the wrong, not them; in these cases it is the original translator that usually has the final say. The usual way of doing this is similar to the romaji: Give the line, point out the error and give your correction. It is only in some rare cases where there are lots of errors, and the original poster does not respond / gives permission, that you are allowed to replace a translation, so I wouldn't hold your breath on the replacement.
    Last edited by Fuukanou; 01-26-2019 at 11:42 AM.
    [Notice: the preceding post was written by someone with a poor grasp of the Japanese language. If you could correct me when I make mistakes, it'd be much appreciated.]

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