AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin's Avatar
    Gil
    20.07
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Mic Dr Who Tardis Guy Fawkes Mask
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 06:19 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Off in my own little world~ (Ratha)
    Age
    28
    Threads
    30
    Posts
    615
    Blog Entries
    6
    AL Lyrics
    348
    Rep Power
    513
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Senevir PSN ID: Senevir Steam ID: Senevir

    Default Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    Hi, guys. I've been working on this song for quite a while now, meaning that I tried to translate it years ago but was dissatisfied and abandoned it.
    I discussed some parts with bluepenguin last year (who was an amazing aid, thank you), though I think some understanding of the entire song is needed to properly grasp its meaning.

    Here are the full kanji lyrics.
    http://www.kasi-time.com/item-45838.html


    Here are the parts I'm having trouble with.



    「蒼白の果てで紡がれる、心優しい少年と一人の魔女の物語」
    "This is the tale of a kind-hearted boy and one of those witches, spun from the pale conclusion”

    Okay, I might say that (if it be right), but.... what exactly IS "蒼白の果て"?
    WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!! I don't knooooow....



    褪めた日々は淀み 怠惰に溺れる
    血塗られた月夜(よる)は穢れ 無垢な衝動、翳して

    "無垢な衝動" kept getting to me, because when you read that, your English brain naturally thinks of "acting on pure impulse" (maybe something more like 純粋な衝動).
    In this case, it means an impulse that is "undefiled" though, right? That seemed so contradictory.
    My mind was kind of stuck on this point. Then, I considered another possibility.

    " Each drear day is stagnant, and spent indulging indolence
    The blood moon is corrupt, so let it swallow/consume my still pure impulses "

    My understanding of this song is that Shisferia (Sisphelia?) is struggling with her human past and emotions, as it is much simpler for her to become the cold-hearted witch. This would have to link to that in some way. Though, the jealous Ciruela seems to take things out of context, a little.
    Am I right on this train of thought, or am I taking the meaning wrong still?



    変わらぬ忠誠 誓いし下僕たる少女[Servant] シルエラ
    すべてを委ねた偏愛(あい)は永遠(とわ)に 虚構を壊す

    My most pained part. I am having SO much trouble with "虚構を壊す".
    The only way that I can get it to flow is to omit or change the word. If I leave it in, the sentence just sounds weird or incomplete.

    " Ciruela was a sworn servant of unshakeable loyalty
    Her eternal commitment devoted to (every task?), shatters the fantasy "
    .... though I don't know if it's an accurate summation.

    Maybe I just don't understand what the speaker is trying to say. Is she perhaps trying to say that Ciruela keeps シスフェリア in check, stopping her from having unrealistic notions?
    Maybe because Ciruela wants her to be the all-powerful being in whom she idolises, she will do anything to keep her that way, dispelling any and all distractions.
    If that is the case, does "すべてを委ねた偏愛" refer to pleasing her master in general, or is her commitment (at least in this sentence) directed at only this particular instance?

    Also, how would you romanise "シスフェリア"?
    "Shisferia" I think is the popular go-to, but I think it might be something more like "Sisphelia".



    遠い過去の約束 まだ人間(ひと)だったあの日
    未来を誓った 夕暮れ[Abend]
    ah…幼い恋 叶うことはなくて――――

    Is the second line meant to be something like "The dusk we pledged to our futures", or was it at dusk that it was pledged?





    That's all a bit to take in there, I know, but I would appreciate any help!
    Last edited by Hikarin; 01-18-2019 at 09:01 PM.


    Come and join me in FFXIV.
    Gaia Data Centre (Valefor) ~ Senevir Vae'talhrin | Chaos Data Centre (Omega) ~ Myrrh'a Afhkaar
    Elemental Data Centre (Atomos) ~ Kharsarnai Khrui | Mana Data Centre (Masamune) ~ Gakuto Ren

    Have a lyrics request? Feel free to ask. Specialty - Vocaloid and other doujin music.
    Subject to availability.

  2. #2
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 10:57 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    This is why we can't have nice things.
    Threads
    62
    Posts
    293
    AL Lyrics
    165
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    I'd disregard my opinion on this because this is something that I'm usually wrong on, but 蒼白の果て sounds more like some place "the end of the paleness" to me. I don't know what that poetically means but that's just the impression I got.

    無垢な衝動 reads to me as ~~raw impulse. The 無垢 is being used more like 'unadulterated' pure rather than 'chaste' pure.

    I'd romanise シスフェリア as Sisphelia if you're going to use Ciruela for シルエラ, just for consistency if anything.

    For that final point, 未来を誓った 夕暮れ[Abend] sounds to me like just attributive form: ~~The evening that we vowed our futures / The evening on which we vowed our futures

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin's Avatar
    Gil
    20.07
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Mic Dr Who Tardis Guy Fawkes Mask
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 06:19 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Off in my own little world~ (Ratha)
    Age
    28
    Threads
    30
    Posts
    615
    Blog Entries
    6
    AL Lyrics
    348
    Rep Power
    513
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Senevir PSN ID: Senevir Steam ID: Senevir

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuukanou View Post
    I'd disregard my opinion on this because this is something that I'm usually wrong on, but 蒼白の果て sounds more like some place "the end of the paleness" to me. I don't know what that poetically means but that's just the impression I got.

    無垢な衝動 reads to me as ~~raw impulse. The 無垢 is being used more like 'unadulterated' pure rather than 'chaste' pure.

    I'd romanise シスフェリア as Sisphelia if you're going to use Ciruela for シルエラ, just for consistency if anything.

    For that final point, 未来を誓った 夕暮れ[Abend] sounds to me like just attributive form: ~~The evening that we vowed our futures / The evening on which we vowed our futures
    I really don't care - I just greatly appreciate that you're willing to assist. ^_^

    Yes, well, that is what I had as well for the longest time. But it simply makes no sense, at least to me. 果て to me, conveys some sense of a finality. What that finality is is debatable, but something like "end of the paleness" just didn't compute with me, no matter how long I thought about it. Truly, I know about as much as you on this so don't take my word for it, either.

    You could yet be right, but I see 無垢 used only in an essence of purity. Can you provide me with any examples that you might know of where it belies this?

    Well, I use "Ciruela" for "シルエラ" in this case because Ciruela is an actual word, seemingly a Spanish type of plum, which was probably given to her for a name due to the purplish-red hue to her hair in the images they provide of her.
    "シスフェリア" is different, though. I'm not familiar with what they would have drawn that name from, but the spelling that I have provided for it (Sisphelia) denotes a name of Greek origin (from the Greek Phi). I may be mistaken in doing so.

    Yeah, that makes sense and is probably the only logical probability now that I think about it. Sounds weird in English, though. I'll have to think of a better way of phrasing this....


    Come and join me in FFXIV.
    Gaia Data Centre (Valefor) ~ Senevir Vae'talhrin | Chaos Data Centre (Omega) ~ Myrrh'a Afhkaar
    Elemental Data Centre (Atomos) ~ Kharsarnai Khrui | Mana Data Centre (Masamune) ~ Gakuto Ren

    Have a lyrics request? Feel free to ask. Specialty - Vocaloid and other doujin music.
    Subject to availability.

  4. #4
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 10:57 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    This is why we can't have nice things.
    Threads
    62
    Posts
    293
    AL Lyrics
    165
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    Yes, it is the 混じり気のない definition from https://eigobu.jp/magazine/muku

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin's Avatar
    Gil
    20.07
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Mic Dr Who Tardis Guy Fawkes Mask
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 06:19 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Off in my own little world~ (Ratha)
    Age
    28
    Threads
    30
    Posts
    615
    Blog Entries
    6
    AL Lyrics
    348
    Rep Power
    513
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Senevir PSN ID: Senevir Steam ID: Senevir

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuukanou View Post
    Yes, it is the 混じり気のない definition from https://eigobu.jp/magazine/muku
    Wow, thanks for that! It was an interesting read.
    I wouldn't have thought 無垢 and 純粋 to be entirely synonymous, but if they are saying that they can be, then who am I to disagree. In my mind, the former was more to do with an innocence and purity, and the latter, a firmer concept of greater confidence and at times, conviction.

    Really though, I appreciate you sharing that with me.

    Do you have any input to add for 虚構を壊す?


    Come and join me in FFXIV.
    Gaia Data Centre (Valefor) ~ Senevir Vae'talhrin | Chaos Data Centre (Omega) ~ Myrrh'a Afhkaar
    Elemental Data Centre (Atomos) ~ Kharsarnai Khrui | Mana Data Centre (Masamune) ~ Gakuto Ren

    Have a lyrics request? Feel free to ask. Specialty - Vocaloid and other doujin music.
    Subject to availability.

  6. #6
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou has a reputation beyond repute Fuukanou's Avatar
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Piano
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 10:57 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    This is why we can't have nice things.
    Threads
    62
    Posts
    293
    AL Lyrics
    165
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    I'd never seen 虚構 before so it's a bad idea asking me. I also didn't really understand the line apart from superficially, sorry.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin's Avatar
    Gil
    20.07
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Mic Dr Who Tardis Guy Fawkes Mask
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 06:19 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Off in my own little world~ (Ratha)
    Age
    28
    Threads
    30
    Posts
    615
    Blog Entries
    6
    AL Lyrics
    348
    Rep Power
    513
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Senevir PSN ID: Senevir Steam ID: Senevir

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    That's okay. Thanks anyway. ^_^

    I'm still not happy with what I've got, but I guess I can submit what I have and come back to it later. That's usually the way about things.
    Last edited by Hikarin; 01-20-2019 at 09:42 AM.


    Come and join me in FFXIV.
    Gaia Data Centre (Valefor) ~ Senevir Vae'talhrin | Chaos Data Centre (Omega) ~ Myrrh'a Afhkaar
    Elemental Data Centre (Atomos) ~ Kharsarnai Khrui | Mana Data Centre (Masamune) ~ Gakuto Ren

    Have a lyrics request? Feel free to ask. Specialty - Vocaloid and other doujin music.
    Subject to availability.

  8. #8
    Moderator
    AnimeLyrics Admin
    bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin has a reputation beyond repute bluepenguin's Avatar
    Gil
    32,510.89
    Gender
    Gifts Mic Mic Portal Companion Cube
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-28-2019 12:44 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mars
    Threads
    121
    Posts
    1,129
    AL Lyrics
    709
    Rep Power
    54
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: xenographer Steam ID: xen0glossy

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    For smoothness of the line in English, I might interpret 未来を誓った 夕暮れ[Abend] as "the evening we promised our futures to each other," though you may feel that's too much of a stretch.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin has a reputation beyond repute Hikarin's Avatar
    Gil
    20.07
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Mic Dr Who Tardis Guy Fawkes Mask
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-14-2019 06:19 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Off in my own little world~ (Ratha)
    Age
    28
    Threads
    30
    Posts
    615
    Blog Entries
    6
    AL Lyrics
    348
    Rep Power
    513
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Senevir PSN ID: Senevir Steam ID: Senevir

    Default Re: Gareki no Shuuon Clarification

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    For smoothness of the line in English, I might interpret 未来を誓った 夕暮れ[Abend] as "the evening we promised our futures to each other," though you may feel that's too much of a stretch.
    Not at all! The version that I think I'll go with is actually somewhat similar.

    Actually, my biggest gripe at the moment is trying to decide whether the style the song in third or first person. I looked back over what I have written, and I shocked to see I've mixed in a bit of both. I need to pick one viewpoint and stick with it.
    Last edited by Hikarin; 01-29-2019 at 11:04 PM.


    Come and join me in FFXIV.
    Gaia Data Centre (Valefor) ~ Senevir Vae'talhrin | Chaos Data Centre (Omega) ~ Myrrh'a Afhkaar
    Elemental Data Centre (Atomos) ~ Kharsarnai Khrui | Mana Data Centre (Masamune) ~ Gakuto Ren

    Have a lyrics request? Feel free to ask. Specialty - Vocaloid and other doujin music.
    Subject to availability.

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Need clarification on fanfic board
    By Ichihashi_Maiden in forum Site Issues / Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-03-2017, 10:00 AM
  2. hey guys i need some clarification
    By Lector in forum Japanese Language
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-09-2008, 07:27 PM
  3. [mod] rules modification/clarification
    By MistressPookyChan in forum Wallpapers
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-25-2005, 09:52 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts