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Thread: Adabana Necromancy [Zombieland Saga OP]

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    Default Adabana Necromancy [Zombieland Saga OP]

    歌:徒花ネクロマンシ―
    歌手:フランシュシュ
    作詞:古屋 真
    作曲・編曲:山下洋介: 加藤裕介

    Song: Adabana Necroman'shii / Fruitless Flower Necromancy
    Singer(s): Franchouchou
    Lyrics: Shin Furuya
    Composition and Arangement: Yousuke Yamashita and Yuusuke Katou

    Kanji Source:
    https://www.uta-net.com/song/259463/



    誰が弔う 死地は彼方
    静寂(しじま)を破り 芽吹いた夢を

    dare ga tomurau shichi wa kanata
    shijima o yaburi mebuita yume o

    Beyond a death that who will mourn
    Through a dream of a broken silence that sprouted

    Beyond a death that nobody will mourn
    A dream that has sprouted breaking the silence
    I am thinking of replacing "who" with "nobody." I think it would make more sense in english.

    誓え 穿て
    重なる 屍 高みへ
    届くまで

    chikae ugate
    kasanaru shikabane takami e
    todoku made

    Swear and be true
    Until you can reach
    toward the height of the pile of corpses

    唸れ 徒花
    朽ち果てても進め
    奪わせはしない 尊厳の愚弄に
    飢餓を解き放て
    枯れても走ることを命と呼べ
    空に叫ぶ 脱・生存の定義
    骨を斬らせて 闇を断て

    unare adabana
    kuchihatete mo susume
    ubawase wa shinai son'gen' no gurou ni
    kiga o tokihanate
    karetemo hashiru koto o inochi to yobe
    sora ni sakebu datsu-seizon no teigi
    hone o kirasete yami o tate

    Moan fruitless flower
    Advance even if you rot and crumble into dust
    Release hunger
    on the ridicule of a dignity that can't be taken away
    Call out that you will live even in the event that you die running
    It is the definition of an after-life that screams into the sky!
    Cutting through bone slay the darkness!

    Unleash your hunger
    on those who ridicule a dignity that can't be taken away
    Life is to keep on running even if you die
    It is the definition of an after-life screamed into the sky
    Slay the darkness even if you are made to cut through your own bones
    Okay 徒花/adabana means a Flower that does not bear fruit. I can't seem to find any english equivalent word, and putting "non-fruit bearing flower" or "fruitless flower" doesn't sound very good to me.

    However, of the many meaning of 徒, one is futile. To me, at least, that sounds much better and seems to suggest the meaning (a flower that doesn't bear fruit seems futile). So I am considering rewording this Moan futile flower. Of course, if anyone thinks that would be bad, I will keep it as "fruitless flower."

    I have my doubts about "release hunger." What does that have to do with having your dignity ridiculed?

    枯れても走ることを命と呼べ

    I have my doubts about this translation, but of the different ways I thought of interpretting it, assuming the と was a quote particle and that there was an implied suru after 命, made the most sense. Of course it could be meaning "with" and being saying:

    "call out with life that you will run even if you die,"

    But that didn't sound right to me.

    雲間に光る 簒奪の勝機
    覚悟を 宿命(さだめ)に突きつけて
    天下に狂い咲く サガ
    SAGA

    kumoma ni hikaru san'datsu no shouki
    kakugo o sadame ni tsukitsukete
    ten'ka ni kuruizaku saga
    SAGA

    it is an upsurption's chance to win that shines in the rift between the clouds
    Thrust resolution to fate
    It is whole world blooming out of season saga
    SAGA

    it is the rebellion's chance to win that shines in the rift between the clouds
    Thrust [your] resolution at fate
    It's a saga that blooms unseasonably throughout the whole world."
    SAGA
    Would rewording the upsurption to rebellion work better here? Maybe,

    "It is the rebellions chance to succeed that shines in the rift between the clouds"

    and "thrust resolution to fate" doesn't sound right. Maybe "leave readiness to fate" instead?


    傷ひとつ無い 手など愚か
    意思も自由も その身を投げて

    kizu hitotsu nai te nado oroka
    ishi mo jiyuu mo sono mi o nagete

    The obsurdity of something like a hand without a single scratch
    Whether purpose or intention, cast away your body

    It's absurd to have a hand without a single scratch
    throw away your will, your freedom, and your body"


    守れ 退くな
    涙も 血も無い 神話を
    築くまで

    mamore hikuna
    namida mo chi mo nai shinwa o
    kizuku made

    Protect it, Do not retreat,
    Until we build
    a myth without tears nor blood

    燃えろ 修羅花(しゅらばな)
    鼓動亡き世界で
    摂理に抗い 天命も無礼に
    腐鎖(くさり) 切り抜けて
    心を無くすことが死(おわり)と知れ
    極めど儚い 偶像の寵児
    目には目を剥き 牙を剥け

    moero shurabana
    kodou naki sekai de
    setsuri ni aragai ten'mei mo burei ni
    kusari kirinukete
    kokoro o nakusu koto ga owari to shire
    kiwamedo hakanai guuzou no chouji
    me ni wa me o muki kiba o muke

    Burn Carnage Flower
    Destiny that defies providence also
    rudely cut your way through the chains of rot
    of this deceased pulsating world.
    Know the end (result) of losing heart
    Extreme times are transient, favorite idol
    Open your eyes in order to see and bare your fangs!

    Burn Carnage flower
    in this lifeless world.
    Rudely cut your way through the chains of rot
    Know that losing heart is the end
    Although idols may be masters [of their craft], they are transient
    Open your eyes in order to see, and bare your fangs!
    From my understanding, 修羅花 can mean either Azura Flower or Carnage Flower. Given the rest of the song I went with Carnage.

    偶像の寵児,

    I translated this as favorite idol. I think Image/Idol is acting as a modifier more than a possessive however the way I combined the two (image/idol and favorite child) doesn't feel quite correct. Since this is an anime about Idols I went with favorite idol.

    The last line drove me nuts. It seems to be saying as for my to my eye, peel open my eyes. I took that to mean "open your eyes in order to see."

    However that ends in the ren'youkei of 剥く. I took that as a conjunction but normally wouldn't that be in the て form? In that form wouldn't it normally be a combination word between peel and fang? Maybe bared fang? But if so then it would be "bare your bared fangs?" and the beginning would be "an eye for an eye?"

    I feel like this is right but I also feel like I am missing something.

    いつか誰もが 散華する捨て石
    輝け 刹那無限の火花
    乱世に迸るサガ
    SAGA

    itsuka daremo ga san'ge suru sute ishi
    kagayake setsuna mugen' no hibana
    ran'sei ni hotobashiru saga
    SAGA

    sometimes everyone is sacrifical pawn falling like a flower
    Glow! Spark of a momentary eternity
    It is a surging in troubled times saga
    SAGA

    Someday everyone will be a sacrifical pawn falling like a flower
    Glow! Spark of a momentary eternity
    It is a saga surging in troubled times
    SAGA
    捨て石 means sacrifical stone in a game of Go (or ornamental garden stone), but I thought saying sacrifical pawn would make more sense in english.

    I have listened a few dozen times at 2:30 time. I can't be sure that the transliteration of "ranse ni hotobashiru saga" is correct. They are just singing too fast for me. I am just trusting that my reading of the Kanji is correct.

    何が神の冒涜か
    裁きなどさせない
    希望 高らかに打ち鳴らせ
    呼吸よりも生きた証

    nani ga kami no boutoku ka
    sabaki nado saenai
    kibou takaraka ni uchinarase
    kokyuu yori mo ikita akashi

    What is blasphemy?
    We are not allowed to judge.
    Hope being allowed to ring loudly,
    more so than breathing, is proof that we lived

    Make hope ring out loudly;
    more so than breathing, it is proof that we lived



    唸れ 徒花
    朽ち果てても進め
    奪わせはしない 尊厳の愚弄に
    飢餓を解き放て
    枯れても走ることを命と呼べ
    空に叫ぶ 脱・生存の定義
    骨を斬らせて 闇を断て

    unare adabana
    kuchihatete mo susume
    ubawase wa shinai son'gen' no gurou ni
    kiga o tokihanate
    karete mo hashiru koto o inochi to yobe
    sara ni sakebu datsu- seizon no teigi
    hone o kirasete yami o tate

    Moan fruitless flower
    Advance even if you rot and crumble into dust
    Release hunger
    on the ridicule of a dignity that can't be taken away
    Call out that you will live even in the event that you die running
    It is the definition of an after-life that screams into the sky!
    Cutting through bone slay the darkness!

    Unleash your hunger
    on those who ridicule a dignity that can't be taken away
    Life is to keep on running even if you die
    It is the definition of an after-life screamed into the sky
    Slay the darkness even if you are made to cut through your own bones
    The last line seems to be saying to be made/allowed to cut through bone and then a command to slay darkness.

    雲間に光る 簒奪の勝機
    覚悟を 宿命(さだめ)に突きつけて
    荒野を駆ける 乱世に挑む
    天下に狂い咲く サガ
    SAGA

    kumoma ni hikaru san'datsu no shouki
    kakugo o sadame ni tsukitsukete
    kouya o kakeru ran'sei ni idomu
    ten'ka ni kuruizaku saga
    SAGA

    It is an upsurption's chance to win that shines in the rift between the clouds
    Thrust resolution to fate
    I challenge you to dash through the wastelands in these troubled times
    It is whole world blooming out of season saga
    SAGA

    It's the rebellion's chance to win that shines in the rift between the clouds
    Thrust [your] resolution at fate
    Dash through the wastelands! Challenge troubled times!
    It's a saga that blooms unseasonably throughout the whole world."
    SAGA
    Alright. Any criticism, suggestion, or corrections?

    EDIT: Corrections in teal
    Last edited by Lost247365; 12-22-2018 at 07:05 AM. Reason: One day I will learn to proof-read. Today is not that day.
    迷いだということまで私達は自分達を見つけり始まれない

    ヘンリーデイヴィッドソロー

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    Default Re: Adabana Necromancy [Zombieland Saga OP]

    Okay, I've got a lot here, because this song's lyrics are a bit complicated and they're playing with language a lot (in ways that are sometimes hard to translate). It was a pretty ambitious translation project to take on at your level, so I hope the amount of feedback is not discouraging--some songs are just more difficult than others, you know? Anyway:

    I think "静寂(しじま)を破り芽吹いた" is a single phrase modifying 夢--"A dream that sprouted, breaking the silence," or something along those lines.

    Re: 徒花, I actually like "fruitless flower." "Fruitless" can actually mean "futile" in English too, so I think it keeps both the literal and metaphorical meanings pretty well.

    I have my doubts about "release hunger." What does that have to do with having your dignity ridiculed?
    I think it's more like "let loose your hunger" or "unleash your hunger" (on those who ridicule your dignity). I haven't seen this series, so I don't know if the zombies in it have a literal hunger for human flesh or anything like that, but my first thought was that it was something along those lines--that the character(s) being addressed has/have, if not a literal hunger, at least a metaphorical bloodlust that's usually repressed, which the song is saying to give free rein in this particular kind of situation.

    枯れても走ることを命と呼べ
    XをYと呼ぶ usually means "to call X 'Y'"/"X is called 'Y'." So this is like "Keeping running even if you die is called 'life'", which is a very inelegant way of phrasing it that I don't recommend you copy as is, but you get the idea, I hope. I might phrase it as "Life is keeping running even if you die" or something like that, although I really want a better phrasing for the 枯れても走ること part. In other contexts I might interpret "枯れても走る" as "running even though it might kill you/lead to your death," but since, you know, zombies, I suspect this might literally mean that although they've technically died, they're still going, and that's a kind of life--which, I think, makes that line the 脱・生存の定義 that the next line references. Also, I think the 脱・生存の定義 is being shouted into the sky rather than doing the shouting itself.

    骨を斬らせて 闇を断て
    This seems to be based on the saying "肉を切らせて骨を断て," which is like "Cut through [your opponent's] bone even if it means that [your own] flesh is cut." Basically, it's saying it shouldn't matter to you what damage is done to you as long as you can do more damage to your enemy. Saying to cut through the darkness even if your own bone is cut I think both implies that cutting through the darkness is an extremely important thing to do--such that you should be willing to sustain even more grievous injury in pursuit of that than the "cut flesh" of the original saying--and that, well, not to keep going on about this, but they are zombies, so they can presumably, uh, "survive" injuries more severe than a human could.

    "thrust resolution to fate" doesn't sound right. Maybe "leave readiness to fate" instead?
    It's tempting to interpret it that way, but it reads more to me like readiness is a weapon with which fate is, metaphorically, being stabbed. Maybe the defiance of/attack on fate is the 簒奪? I do like "It is the rebellion's chance to succeed that shines in the rift between the clouds".

    I would interpret 天下に狂い咲く サガ as something like "It's a saga that blooms unseasonably throughout the whole world."

    I think "傷ひとつ無い 手など愚か" ends in an implied "です," making it a complete sentence and not an unfinished clause just kind of hanging out there the way you currently have it (not that Japanese songs don't often have unfinished clauses just kind of hanging out there). So something like "It's absurd to have a hand without a single scratch". I also think "意思も自由もその身" is a list of things to which 投げて applies--"throw away your will and your freedom and your body".

    From my understanding, 修羅花 can mean either Azura Flower or Carnage Flower. Given the rest of the song I went with Carnage.
    Makes sense to me.

    I'm tempted to apply 鼓動亡き世界で to the line before it--"Burn, carnage flower / In this 鼓動亡き world." As for 鼓動亡き, I would treat it as a play on 鼓動無き. 鼓動 often refers to a heartbeat, so saying 鼓動亡き is kind of saying "heartbeatless" and then emphasizing that that means "dead." I might just say "lifeless world," personally.

    Note that it's 心を無くすこと死(おわり)と知れ , it's not a の there. Imagine an implied だ after おわり if that helps you make sense of the grammar.

    極めど儚い 偶像の寵児
    I think you're right to use "idol" in this line. Note that 寵児 doesn't just mean "favorite child," but also "hero" or "star"... or "idol." :P So basically, there's more wordplay going on here, in that they're referring to idols in the music sense with two words that both more or less mean idol, but in different senses (neither of which is "idol singer", which is アイドル). If this were my translation, I might drop the "favorite" and just say "idol," but I would probably include an explanatory footnote. In 極めど儚い, -めど is an archaic verb form that's like adding けど after the verb. So it's like... "though idols may be masters of their craft ((which I think is the sense in which 極める is used here)), they're transient".

    However that ends in the ren'youkei of 剥く. I took that as a conjunction but normally wouldn't that be in the て form?
    No, this form can be conjunctive as well. You can see this construction also in the earlier "静寂(しじま)を破り 芽吹いた夢を" line. So your current translation is fine, I think.

    いつか誰もが 散華する捨て石
    輝け 刹那無限の火花
    乱世に迸るサガ
    いつか is not "sometimes (everyone is...)," but "someday (everyone will be...)," which I know sounds like a tiny distinction, but the difference in meaning is pretty significant.

    "Sacrificial pawn" is good, I think.

    乱世 is read "ransei" and since "ranse" isn't, to the best of my knowledge, a standard/accepted variant, I think it should be "ransei" even if it sounds like the vowel is short because they're singing fast.

    My interpretation of the structure of the previous "saga" line also applies here.

    希望 高らかに打ち鳴らせ
    呼吸よりも生きた証
    I'd take 打ち鳴らせ as a command--"make/let hope ring out loudly." You're right, though, that the 希望 is the 証.

    荒野を駆ける 乱世に挑む
    I know my constant refrain is usually "these phrases aren't separate," but for once, I think these phrases are separate--"I run through the wasteland [and] challenge the troubled times."
    Last edited by bluepenguin; 12-18-2018 at 02:44 PM.

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    Default Re: Adabana Necromancy [Zombieland Saga OP]

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    Okay, I've got a lot here, because this song's lyrics are a bit complicated and they're playing with language a lot (in ways that are sometimes hard to translate). It was a pretty ambitious translation project to take on at your level, so I hope the amount of feedback is not discouraging--some songs are just more difficult than others, you know? Anyway:
    Yeah, It was alot harder than I expected. But, I am not gonna let it discourage me. Best way to learn is to challenge yourself

    That said, I was a bit burnt out and am taking it easy for the holidays.

    I think "静寂(しじま)を破り芽吹いた" is a single phrase modifying 夢--"A dream that sprouted, breaking the silence," or something along those lines.
    That is what I thought but I guess the way I translated wasn't very good.

    Re: 徒花, I actually like "fruitless flower." "Fruitless" can actually mean "futile" in English too, so I think it keeps both the literal and metaphorical meanings pretty well.
    Alright! Consider it kept.



    I think it's more like "let loose your hunger" or "unleash your hunger" (on those who ridicule your dignity). I haven't seen this series, so I don't know if the zombies in it have a literal hunger for human flesh or anything like that, but my first thought was that it was something along those lines--that the character(s) being addressed has/have, if not a literal hunger, at least a metaphorical bloodlust that's usually repressed, which the song is saying to give free rein in this particular kind of situation.
    That sounds better.

    For the record, Zombieland saga is a comedy making fun of/paying homage to the japanese idol industry. No real hunger for flesh in it although there is one girl who hasn't mentally woken up who will playfully bites anything and anyone.

    XをYと呼ぶ usually means "to call X 'Y'"/"X is called 'Y'." So this is like "Keeping running even if you die is called 'life'", which is a very inelegant way of phrasing it that I don't recommend you copy as is, but you get the idea, I hope. I might phrase it as "Life is keeping running even if you die" or something like that, although I really want a better phrasing for the 枯れても走ること part. In other contexts I might interpret "枯れても走る" as "running even though it might kill you/lead to your death," but since, you know, zombies, I suspect this might literally mean that although they've technically died, they're still going, and that's a kind of life--which, I think, makes that line the 脱・生存の定義 that the next line references. Also, I think the 脱・生存の定義 is being shouted into the sky rather than doing the shouting itself.
    Okay that makes sense. Maybe,

    "It is a life even after you died running."

    Now that you mention it, it seems so obvious that the definition is being shouted rather than is shouting itself.


    This seems to be based on the saying "肉を切らせて骨を断て," which is like "Cut through [your opponent's] bone even if it means that [your own] flesh is cut." Basically, it's saying it shouldn't matter to you what damage is done to you as long as you can do more damage to your enemy. Saying to cut through the darkness even if your own bone is cut I think both implies that cutting through the darkness is an extremely important thing to do--such that you should be willing to sustain even more grievous injury in pursuit of that than the "cut flesh" of the original saying--and that, well, not to keep going on about this, but they are zombies, so they can presumably, uh, "survive" injuries more severe than a human could.
    I see, and I do like that phrasing. Thank you.

    It's tempting to interpret it that way, but it reads more to me like readiness is a weapon with which fate is, metaphorically, being stabbed. Maybe the defiance of/attack on fate is the 簒奪? I do like "It is the rebellion's chance to succeed that shines in the rift between the clouds".
    Okay I will keep it that way, though I think I will translate に as "at" instead of "to" and maybe add parenthesis for the implied "your."

    "Thrust [your] resolution at fate
    It is the rebellion's chance to succed that shines in the rift between the clouds."

    I would interpret 天下に狂い咲く サガ as something like "It's a saga that blooms unseasonably throughout the whole world."
    I definitely like that translation better!

    I think "傷ひとつ無い 手など愚か" ends in an implied "です," making it a complete sentence and not an unfinished clause just kind of hanging out there the way you currently have it (not that Japanese songs don't often have unfinished clauses just kind of hanging out there). So something like "It's absurd to have a hand without a single scratch". I also think "意思も自由もその身" is a list of things to which 投げて applies--"throw away your will and your freedom and your body".
    I see. I thought it was contrasting the two. That said, I don't even remember how I got "purpose" as a definition of jiyuu.



    Makes sense to me.

    I'm tempted to apply 鼓動亡き世界で to the line before it--"Burn, carnage flower / In this 鼓動亡き world." As for 鼓動亡き, I would treat it as a play on 鼓動無き. 鼓動 often refers to a heartbeat, so saying 鼓動亡き is kind of saying "heartbeatless" and then emphasizing that that means "dead." I might just say "lifeless world," personally.
    I see. That make sense and I will follow your suggestion.

    Note that it's 心を無くすこと死(おわり)と知れ , it's not a の there. Imagine an implied だ after おわり if that helps you make sense of the grammar.
    Okay, my thinking on this was that the matter of "losing heart" is the subject of the command "know 'the end.'" So,

    "Losing Heart know the end" or "Know the end, Losing Heart" Both sounded awkward so I rearranged it to "know the end of losing heart." But I guess that completely changed the grammar.

    Adding the だ helps immensely.

    "Know that losing heart is the end."

    Fixing.


    I think you're right to use "idol" in this line. Note that 寵児 doesn't just mean "favorite child," but also "hero" or "star"... or "idol." :P So basically, there's more wordplay going on here, in that they're referring to idols in the music sense with two words that both more or less mean idol, but in different senses (neither of which is "idol singer", which is アイドル). If this were my translation, I might drop the "favorite" and just say "idol," but I would probably include an explanatory footnote. In 極めど儚い, -めど is an archaic verb form that's like adding けど after the verb. So it's like... "though idols may be masters of their craft ((which I think is the sense in which 極める is used here)), they're transient".
    Ah! I was thinking they were using the ren'youkei of 極める and 度 written in kana (I forgot to add the space between the words). That is how I got that translations: 極め度[は]儚い[です]

    I will make that change.


    No, this form can be conjunctive as well. You can see this construction also in the earlier "静寂(しじま)を破り 芽吹いた夢を" line. So your current translation is fine, I think.
    Alright! That one gave me a headache translating =)

    いつか is not "sometimes (everyone is...)," but "someday (everyone will be...)," which I know sounds like a tiny distinction, but the difference in meaning is pretty significant.
    Will fix!

    "Sacrificial pawn" is good, I think.

    乱世 is read "ransei" and since "ranse" isn't, to the best of my knowledge, a standard/accepted variant, I think it should be "ransei" even if it sounds like the vowel is short because they're singing fast.

    My interpretation of the structure of the previous "saga" line also applies here.
    Fixing!


    I'd take 打ち鳴らせ as a command--"make/let hope ring out loudly." You're right, though, that the 希望 is the 証.
    Changing!

    I know my constant refrain is usually "these phrases aren't separate," but for once, I think these phrases are separate--"I run through the wasteland [and] challenge the troubled times."
    That does make sense in the context of the song. I will do that.

    Thank you as always! I greatly appreciate all your input and time!

    EDIT: And with these changes you think this is good to submit?
    Last edited by Lost247365; 12-22-2018 at 07:07 AM.
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    Yes, I think this is good now.

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