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Thread: How Do You Move On When . . . ?

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    Senior Member Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier has a reputation beyond repute Digimon_Sommelier's Avatar
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    Default How Do You Move On When . . . ?

    Q: How do you move on with your life if a friend doesn't like you anymore? Do you flip them the bird, be classy about it, or realize that it's not you, it's them?
    My Wi-Fi, it's gone out . . .

  2. #2
    Ace Kaitous YOU Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou Ace's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Move On When . . . ?

    Just move on I guess. You can't force people to be friends with you or to stay in your life. It hurts to lose a good friend, but if it's out of your hands, its out of your hands, and it's much better to move on than trying to incite a fight and burn bridges, so I'd rather walk away peacefully really.

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    Senior Member Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986 has a reputation beyond repute Takatofan1986's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Move On When . . . ?

    I have a hard time. For the most part, most of my life, I never really had many IRL friends. But then, from 2008-2015 I worked at Taco Bell, and, I made a lot of friends there over the years. Most of them were more like work-friends, that we'd never hang out outside of work, but there were a few that we did.


    One of the people in question, from 2010-2013, I would go to their house fairly often in hang out. Then one day, he said he was going to come get me after he finished eating (I don't drive) and then he never showed up. A few hours later, his wife posted on FB about the nice quiet day they had. I was confused because, we all got along, and he said he would get me soon, so what was up with that? It was weird. But now thought the years, we have made plans and they have fallen through 4-5 more times, and each time he never shows up. I don't know what to think about why it happens, but I know I'm done trying to make plans with him. I don't THINK he is just playing with me, because sometimes we'll have meaningful convos through messenger (Not often, but sometimes)


    Maybe it's because I have aspburgers and I don't get social queues. I dunno.


    One other guy I used to hang out with posts "Anyone want to _____ Tomorrow?" and If I say me, he'll say something came up and he cant go.... which really sucks, but at least he says it right then and not "Okay, I'll pick you right up!" And not show up. But I took the hint with him, and just don't reply to that anymore. (....Though because I'm desprate to get to the My Hero Academia movie that will be in theatres in a month I did message him and ask if he wanted to go, since he was the only one I knew IRL that's a fan. So we're going)


    But I try and look at the positive of things.


    If I ever feel depressed or lonely


    I log into facebook and I'm like


    "WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE DRAMA I DON'T HAVE!"
    Last edited by Takatofan1986; 08-29-2018 at 09:16 PM.

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    Default Re: How Do You Move On When . . . ?

    Yeah, I think @Kaitou Ace pretty much covered it, so I won't repeat what he said.

    Quote Originally Posted by Takatofan1986 View Post
    I have a hard time. For the most part, most of my life, I never really had many IRL friends. But then, from 2008-2015 I worked at Taco Bell, and, I made a lot of friends there over the years. Most of them were more like work-friends, that we'd never hang out outside of work, but there were a few that we did.


    One of the people in question, from 2010-2013, I would go to their house fairly often in hang out. Then one day, he said he was going to come get me after he finished eating (I don't drive) and then he never showed up. A few hours later, his wife posted on FB about the nice quiet day they had. I was confused because, we all got along, and he said he would get me soon, so what was up with that? It was weird. But now thought the years, we have made plans and they have fallen through 4-5 more times, and each time he never shows up. I don't know what to think about why it happens, but I know I'm done trying to make plans with him. I don't THINK he is just playing with me, because sometimes we'll have meaningful convos through messenger (Not often, but sometimes)


    Maybe it's because I have aspburgers and I don't get social queues. I dunno.


    One other guy I used to hang out with posts "Anyone want to _____ Tomorrow?" and If I say me, he'll say something came up and he cant go.... which really sucks, but at least he says it right then and not "Okay, I'll pick you right up!" And not show up. But I took the hint with him, and just don't reply to that anymore. (....Though because I'm desprate to get to the My Hero Academia movie that will be in theatres in a month I did message him and ask if he wanted to go, since he was the only one I knew IRL that's a fan. So we're going)


    But I try and look at the positive of things.


    If I ever feel depressed or lonely


    I log into facebook and I'm like


    "WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE DRAMA I DON'T HAVE!"
    From one person with Asperger's to another, I can only say that from personal experience, it's not worth pretending to be something you're not, or worrying what others think of you. Well, I don't know if this applies to you, but I dunno, I just get that impression from the tone of your post.

    I have trouble reading social cues all the time, but regardless, I think it's better that I remain true to myself than try to adapt to some societal norm. That way if a potential friend likes me, they like the true me and not some fake persona. If they don't like me and are honest about it, sure, I might not like what they have to say, but at least I know where I stand and can move on with my life knowing for sure that I'm not wasting precious time pursuing a one-way relationship.

    Besides, I've spent a good portion of my life pretending to be "normal" and the fact is I'm just not. For me trying to be normal is like navigating a minefield full of "social cues", "subtle hints", and "passive-aggressive etiquette"--and it couldn't be more depressing. In the end I came to the realisation that in trying to conform I wasn't really living my life but someone else's, and since that revelation I've made peace with who I am and I can't tell you how liberating it is when you stop giving a toss what others think. I know who I'am: a decent individual with a good heart who just happens to have Asperger's, that's all. If someone is bothered by the latter (or characteristics thereof) it's their loss because my sense of value as a person is independent of what they think of me.

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