resonance Soul Eater alternative lyrics(?)

[mihai1rus]

I'm not sure if this is where i can suggest alternative translations, but I came up with a slightly different translation for "resonance" from Soul Eater. I'll post it, and then point out the places of most significance. Also, the HTML: https://www.animelyrics.com/anime/so.../resonance.htm

If the beaconing of cinched souls
points at your chest,
are you now capable of hearing
the stronger-than-words echoes?

Getting involved with destiny,
not meeting eyes is sufficient;
darting through the all-encompassing night,
our destinations overlap.

The glaring of whose whereabouts we've searched for far too long
lingers even in bad dreams.

If the beaconing of cinched souls
points at your chest
are you now capable of hearing
the stronger-than-words echoes?

The means by which we met are of no matter
for we resonate,
and only the wound-fragments of the instant we touched
can become unclouded.

Lies and camouflage are still;
upon the writhing world we shine
and the outmost rapture seeming as if we shattered it together
wants to observe.

The hands with which I grab hold of my wail not to be left alone
are far too distant from grace.

We can wish for everything,
for tomorrow is no more.
Shan't we believe
in the ties which are slightly better than yesterday?

The means by which we met are of no matter
for we resonate,
and only the wound-fragments of the instant we touched
can become unclouded.



Roku ni me mo awasazu
unmei ni made karandeku

Rather than
"I'm not watching the necessary,
I'm even getting entwined with destiny"

I figured

"Getting involved with destiny,
not meeting eyes is sufficient;"

Deatta wake wa dou datte ii
From
What do you think of the excuse for meeting each other by chance?
to
The means by which we met are of no matter

Uso mo gisou mo aru
yoreta sekai wo teri tsukete
Moroto mo bukkowaresona
muchuu no hate ga mitai

Rather than:

"There are lies and disguises
Kicking the twisted world
Together with you,
I want to see the end of this likely to break trance"

I think it would suit the song better:

Lies and camouflage are still;
upon the writhing world we shine
and the outmost rapture seeming as if we shattered it together
wants to observe.

I can go into detail as to why I think each of these changes is preferable, but this post is long enough as it is.

I am kind of a newbie, so the last thing I want to do is seem arrogant or whatever, but I just love translating stuff and figured I might give it a shot. Maybe I should actually translate a song myself before correcting something on here, but I don't know...