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Thread: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

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    Post Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

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    "> " /> ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.


    Hello, I am a translator. I have translated one of Kikuo's songs (Pino Polaris the Monster) but took it down since I was very doubtful of the quality.
    I have memorized certain Japanese phrases (Not just "kawaii", but many phrases like "gomen ne", which translates to I'm Sorry or "itsu made mo" which translates to "Until forever" or something like that)

    So, when my confidence in understanding Japanese grew, I was beginning to translate "Tratamento pre-natal" by Kikuo, or translated title, "Prenatal Treatment", when I realized a translator named "Gabicho" already covered them.

    I read many of her translations. Needless to say, I don't fully trust her translations, as I am very doubtful of her work. The lyrics she writes look shorter than it sounded to be, or at least to me. Her Tumblr doesn't show her translations anymore it appears. But, here's an example of her work:

    "I gently turned the page
    As you waited quietly
    Resting your chin on your hand,
    You perked up your ears

    For the new story
    You waited expectantly
    For me to start speaking
    From the smallness of the hospital room
    Is the world you see beautiful?
    Listlessness is scary right? Donít worry
    Iíll listen as much as you like

    For the one day you may
    Leave this room
    Today as well,
    Iíll carry this dirty book
    Open the door"

    Here is my translation so far: (Huge WIP)

    僕はそっと ページをめくる
    I gently turned the page of the book
    君は静かに それを待つ
    While you quietly waited,
    頬杖ついて 笑みを向け
    Resting your hands on your chin, with a smile on your face,
    新しい 物語を
    For the new story.
    僕が口を 開くのを

    今かいまかと 待っている (Didn't translate this part yet)

    教室の小さな窓から
    From the small window of the classroom,


    (translation cuts off from here, WIP)

    (as you can see I'm a big fan of kikuo)

    I am not attacking Gabicho in any way, I am simply just a bit doubtful about her translation. I really like this song. I plan on translating "Midwinter's Daughter" (Also by Kikuo) next, but if my translation is also a mistranslation, I will refrain from translating songs until I understand more of the language.

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    Default Re: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

    It's such a small sample that it's hard to say, but your translation does look better than Gabicho's so far, and I have no major criticisms. (新しい 物語を isn't the end of that sentence, though, so I wouldn't put the period there. The previous 待つ also applies to 僕が口を 開くのを.)

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    Default Re: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    It's such a small sample that it's hard to say, but your translation does look better than Gabicho's so far, and I have no major criticisms. (新しい 物語を isn't the end of that sentence, though, so I wouldn't put the period there. The previous 待つ also applies to 僕が口を 開くのを.)
    Ah, thanks! That means a lot to me! I will remove the period. And I will update this thread.

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    Default Re: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

    Do you have a reliable transcription of the Japanese lyrics? To me, it sounds like "hospital room" is actually correct (病室, byoushitsu).

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    Default Re: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

    Quote Originally Posted by bambooXZX View Post
    Do you have a reliable transcription of the Japanese lyrics? To me, it sounds like "hospital room" is actually correct (病室, byoushitsu).
    I was going to put that but when I looked it up it showed "classroom".

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    Default Re: Tratamento pre-natal // Kikuo

    What resources are you using?

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