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Thread: Time Machine by 40mP

  1. #1
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    Default Time Machine by 40mP

    Some issues in the translation of Time Machine ...

    v.1 l.2
    人の少ないホームで ヘタクソ\に強がった
    Translation: You pitifully bluffed in a place that people rarely pass.
    I think it means "on a railway platform without many people on it".

    v.2. l.2
    見慣れたその泣き顔も しばらくは見れないね
    Translation: I guess I can't see the familiar crying face for some time.
    I think future tense is intended, "I won't be seeing your familiar ..."

    v.3
    声が遮られていく 身振り手振りで伝える / 「いってらっしゃい」のサイン
    Translation: Voice is blocked and communicating with gestures / The "Come back safely" sign
    The English is poorly phrased IMHO. How about something like: "Your voice is getting blocked so you communicate with gestures / with a sign to say ..."?

    v.4 l.1
    少しずつ小さくなってく 全部置いたまま
    Translation: I threw away all the things that were getting smallar
    I think the idea is that he's leaving things behind, not throwing them away. Also I believe the adj. clause is non-restrictive, i.e., describing "all things" rather than identifying which ones, so something like. "I leave everything behind as it gets smaller"?

    v. 7 l.2
    タイムマシンにゆられて 明日も元気でいるよ
    Translation: I wish that you'll be healthy and be shaken by the time machine
    Several matters of interpretation, but ...
    (1) Unlike v.8, I can't see anything in v.7 that says that it's a wish.
    (2) The time machine is a train, so I think maybe "rocked" might be better than "shaken" (although both are possible)
    (3) I don't think the yureru and the genki are happening at the same time. Yureru is present but genki is future, ashita, which the translation leaves out.
    My translation: "Rocked by the time machine, I'll still be fine tomorrow."

    v. 8 l.2
    タイムマシンにゆられて 明日も元気で
    Translation: (as above)
    Although this can be interpreted as an incomplete sentence, I think a wish is a possible translation in this case. I'm not sure which is intended, but bear in mind the speaker is the one in the train. Either way, yureru is still present and genki future.

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    v.3: I feel like this might fit better with the rest of the song if the subject was the speaker, maybe? "My voice is [...]" lol jk I'm bad

    Also, there's a random 'no' in the romaji of verse 4 that should be removed ("sukoshizutsu -no- chiisaku natteku zenbu oita mama)"
    Last edited by bambooXZX; 01-31-2018 at 06:45 PM.

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    Itte'rasshai would be spoken by the person staying behind, right?

    V.6 has "boku no yoko o surinukete toozakatte yuku keshiki" which leads me to think that the person leaving is "boku". So my conclusion was that the person left on the platform is trying to tell them to come back.

    Note this translation interprets it the same way: "The sign of you saying 'have a safe journey'".

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    oops disregard that im bad

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    No problem, it's always good to have someone keep you on your toes!!

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    It looks like that translator is no longer active. Do you want to give me a full retranslation?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    Proudly muttering that there was nothing to worry about,
    I clumsily tried to boast on the sparse railway platform.

    A sound suddenly rings out, someone calling out a farewell to me.
    The tearful face I'm used to, I won't be seeing it for a while.

    Your voice is getting blocked so you gesture to me
    with a sign to say, “Come back safe!”

    As it gets smaller and smaller, I leave everything behind.
    Telling myself I'm not sad at all, I hide myself behind my earphones.

    I saw it, indistinctly, a vision of yesterday's warmth.
    Spreading out left and right, it takes me along with it.

    Slipping past me, the receding scenery
    leaves behind the me of yesterday.

    Without understanding what the spilt teardrop means,
    rocked by the time machine, I'll still be fine tomorrow.

    Without understanding what the spilt teardrop means
    rocked by the time machine, be well tomorrow.

    Without understanding what the unstoppable overflowing tears mean,
    rocked by the time machine, I'll come back again.


    The lines are a bit long. If you feel like it, you can split them like I've done here.


    UPDATE: PS don't forget the romaji mistake bambooXZX pointed out
    Last edited by Raichu; 02-20-2018 at 03:33 PM. Reason: PS

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    Default Re: Time Machine by 40mP

    Thanks! The translation has been replaced and the romaji mistake should be fixed.

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