In Genesis by JimmyThumbP,

熱 is romanized netsu in v. 5 and betsu in v. 7. Probably just a typo. I think netsu is correct.

The ellipsis in the last line appears as jibberish in the translation.

I minor point of translation but 鳴り is translated "ring out" which is OK in itself but isn't "ring out inside my head" a contradiction? "Ring inside my head" would make it sound like it's unpleasant which may be why Yu had "ring out". In my translation I have "resound" instead of "ring out". What do you think?