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Thread: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

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    Default New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    Hey Guys,

    I'm currently translating this song and I'm kinda stuck at some points and/ or not happy with my translation. I'll post it here and I would be thankful if somebody would may help me

     


    さぁ スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    進め! 進め! 前に!

    Skip by step and a big jump!
    Advance! Advanve! Forward!
    Any Idea what "skip by step" is supposed to mean?
    Should i just leave it that way?

    はい はい 全身!
    はい はい う―\―\ ジャンプ!
    はい はい 全霊!
    はい はい ナナナナナナナ

    Go go full power!
    Go go aaand jump!
    Go go full spirit!
    Go go Na na na na na na na
    I translated "はい" as "go" because translating it as "yes" sounded kind of dumb to me, any other suggestions?

    月・火・水・木・金!
    Monday- Tuesday- Wednesday- Thursday- Friday!

    月曜日、ちゃんと出勤
    みんなで乗り切ろう
    火曜日には調子出ますホンマなんです~
    笑いあえば本気でてきた!!
    水曜日、もっと集中
    木曜日、もう夢中
    やる気・元気・無敵だって金曜日だもん!
    お疲れ様です! また来週

    Monday, properly working
    Everyone, let's get over it
    On Tuesday the spirit will show itself, realy!
    As we all laughed it seriously came out!!
    Wednesday, more concentration
    Thursday, already dazing
    Spirit and motivation are at it's peak because its Friday!
    Good job everyone! Again next week

    小さな一歩
    重ねましょう
    始まりはそう\"スキップ\"で
    次はぎゅっと、さぁ\"ステップ\"踏んで(もっと踏んで)
    後はもう、高く飛ぶだけ!

    Let's put together
    These little steps
    The beginning is with this "Skip"
    And up next we take a tight, "Step"
    (step up more)
    After that, just fly up high!
    I'm kind of unsure how to fit the "Skip" and "Step" inside the sentence...

    Let\'s go スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    進め、進め、明日へ
    昨日よりずっと高く
    飛ばせ、飛ばせ MY WISH
    そうさ スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    届け、次の、ステージへ
    また月火水木金曜日
    進め! 進め! 前に!

    Let's go skip by step and a
    Big jump
    Advance, advance, towards tomorrow
    Fly even higher
    than yesterday, my wish
    So, skip by step and a big jump!
    Reach out, towards the next stage
    Again Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
    Advance! Advance! Forward!
    Any suggestions on how to fit the "my wish" inside the sentence?

    はい はい 全身!
    はい はい う―\―\ ジャンプ!
    はい はい 全力!
    はい はい ナナナナナナナ

    Go go full power!
    Go go aaand jump!
    Go go full spirit!
    Go go Na na na na na na na
    Again, the same "はい" Problem.

    四月のきらめき
    五月病の憂鬱
    梅雨の時期はなんかちょっと
    テンション下がる~
    頑張っちゃえば 夏休みだいぇーい!!
    成長期の秋に
    夢かなった冬に
    次はもっと大きな夢叶えちゃいましょう!!
    出発進行! また来年!

    The sparkling in April
    The spring blues in May
    The rainy season somehow made the tension fall~....
    If we hang on we'll make it to the summer break yay!
    The growing season in fall
    The winter were I made my dream come true
    Next, let us achieve even bigger dreams!
    All abroad, again next year!


    日進月歩
    これからも
    躓いたってリトライして
    諦めないでコンティニューして(何度だって)
    絶対、前に向かって

    A steady progress
    Even after this
    When I stumbled I retried it
    Don't give up, continue (no matter how many times)
    Absolutely face forward

    Let\'s go スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    壁も、山も、飛び越え
    きらめく星の向こう
    掴め、掴め MY DREAM
    そうさ スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    笑い、泣いて、悩んで
    ほら365日
    青春してる MY WORK

    Let's go skip by step and
    a big jump!
    Be it a wall or a mountain, we'll overcome it
    To the other side of the shining stars
    Grasp it, grasp it, my dream
    So, skip by step and
    a big jump
    Laughing, crying and worrying
    Look, for 365 days
    I'm living my youth my work
    Again, not sure on how to fit the "my work"-part in the translation.

    拝啓、ちょっと未来の私
    夢はちゃんと叶ったかい?
    答えなくたって知ってるよ
    だから、進め、前に!

    To my future me
    Did you properly achieved your dreams?
    Even if you won't answer I know it
    That's why, advance, forward!

    Let\'s go スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    進め、進め、明日へ
    昨日よりずっと高く
    飛ばせ、飛ばせ MY WISH
    そうさ スキップ・バイ・ステップ and 大ジャンプ!
    いつか、夢は、叶うよ
    また月火水木金曜日
    進め、進め MY DREAM

    Let's go skip by step and a
    Big jump
    Advance, advance, towards tomorrow
    Fly even higher
    than yesterday, my wish
    So, skip by step and
    a big jump!
    Someday, my dreams, I'll achieve them
    Again Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
    Advance, advance, my dream
    Well, that's it.
    Would be nice if you could give me your input on my problems


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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    Sorry I'm not helping where you asked, but from reading it over I do have some things to say (sorry for being a backseat translator):
    月曜日、ちゃんと出勤
    みんなで乗り切ろう
    火曜日には調子出ますホンマなんです~
    笑いあえば本気でてきた!!
    水曜日、もっと集中
    木曜日、もう夢中
    やる気・元気・無敵だって金曜日だもん!
    お疲れ様です! また来週

    Monday, properly working
    I think the shukkin is more like 'turning up for work' so it's like they don't oversleep or something. I don't really get that feel from your translation
    Everyone, let's get over it
    I think the 'it' is 'this week' in this case so you might want to make that clear.
    On Tuesday the spirit will show itself, realy! [sic] typo on the really
    I'm not sure if it's the same as what you wrote, but choushi [ga] deru is to 'get into gear'. Maybe you were using spirit like 'working spirit' but I'm not sure.
    As we all laughed it seriously came out!!
    Thinking about this, your translation implies the honki was an adverb, but I think it's a noun in this case so it's more like the 'seriousness came out' or 'we got serious'
    Wednesday, more concentration
    Perhaps 'concentration rises' would sound better, but nothing wrong
    Thursday, already dazing
    I think muchuu is more like they're doing their work without really thinking about it, perhaps 'now we're in the groove' would work?
    Spirit and motivation are at it's peak because its Friday!
    I don't really get this line in the Japanese so I can't say.
    Good job everyone! Again next week
    Again next week is kinda too literal. Perhaps 'See you again next week'

    Also advance is spelt wrong on the second line.

    進め、進め、明日へ
    Advance, advance, towards tomorrow
    ashita e is more commonly used to mean 'into the near future' than tomorrow. To tomorrow is a bit small scale don't you think

    テンション下がる~……
    made the tension fall~....
    'lowers the tension' would sound better, also more literal because made the tension fall implies causative

    出発進行! また来年!
    All abroad, again next year!
    I think you mean 'All aboard' if you're talking about a ship setting off. Again with the 'see you next year'

    夢はちゃんと叶ったかい?
    Did you properly achieved your dreams?
    'Did you... achieve' or 'Have you... achieved'

    For your blue questions,
    1: 'skip by step' is an amalgamation of 'step by step' with skipping. It's probably just meant to be like that, so I'd leave it
    2: Go is fine I think. I think it's more of one of those chants they do (c.f. running teams in anime during practice)
    3: I think your translation with the English is fine. I'd drop the speech marks though.
    4: I'd move the "my wish" to the start of the line above and make it "My wish, please..."
    5: See 2
    6: Not sure. Perhaps "for" "with" "by" or something similar to integrate it. I'm not sure any make real sense though
    Last edited by Fuukanou; 10-14-2017 at 04:21 PM.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    This was....more input than I thought.
    And you reminded me that I need to sharpen my English skills (no native speaker :/)
    Also sorry for the typos, I usually only check my translations for typos right before I submit it.
    Well, whatever.
    I agree with your corrections most of the time, except for:

    "Everyone, let's get over it
    I think the 'it' is 'this week' in this case so you might want to make that clear."
    You have a point there, but I'd rather stick to the original as close as possible, that's why I don't really like the idea of putting stuff inside the translation which isn't actually in the original.


    "Thursday, already dazing
    I think muchuu is more like they're doing their work without really thinking about it, perhaps 'now we're in the groove' would work?"
    Again you have a point, but I think groove is not the right word for it, maybe something that describes that they're in some kind of trance like they're immersed in work...maybe: "Thursday, already immersed" (?)


    "Spirit and motivation are at it's peak because its Friday!
    I don't really get this line in the Japanese so I can't say."
    Well, it's not even a real sentence, it's just the words
    やる気(Motivation) 元気 (spirit) and 無敵 (lit.: unrivaled) so it means that the spirit and motivation are at it's highest because it's friday


    "進め、進め、明日へ
    Advance, advance, towards tomorrow

    ashita e is more commonly used to mean 'into the near future' than tomorrow. To tomorrow is a bit small scale don't you think "
    Again, while I agree that it implies the future, I'd rather stick to whats written...

    4: I'd move the "my wish" to the start of the line above and make it "My wish, please..."
    So you mean something like: My wish, please make it fly(?) I'm not really sure what 飛ばせ is supposed to mean, is it the imperative of 飛ばす or is it the causative of 飛ぶ in the verb stem? (but the first one would make more sense I guess)

    Oh, but thanks for the corrections, very much appreciated!
    Last edited by Ghdf; 10-14-2017 at 06:21 PM.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    1: Have you considered alternative translations of norikiru like 'weather' or 'make it through'? The reason I thought clarification would be good is because "get over it" is something you'd say to someone in a slump or something (more akin to koeru than taeru is what I mean). I felt the implication was somewhere else than 'this week'. I perfectly understand not wanting to put words in their mouth (I avoid it as well in translations) but what you do say can be tweaked slightly to have the right implication.
    2: Sounds okay, but I think it's literal to the point that we're losing context that it's about their work.
    5: I'm really not sure anymore about it.
    Last edited by Fuukanou; 10-14-2017 at 07:17 PM.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuukanou View Post
    1: Have you considered alternative translations of norikiru like 'weather' or 'make it through'? The reason I thought clarification would be good is because "get over it" is something you'd say to someone in a slump or something (more akin to koeru than taeru is what I mean). I felt the implication was somewhere else than 'this week'. I perfectly understand not wanting to put words in their mouth (I avoid it as well in translations) but what you do say can be tweaked slightly to have the right implication.
    [...]
    How about "lets get this over with"? That's something I would say at work.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghdf View Post
    How about "lets get this over with"? That's something I would say at work.
    Bit negative but it's your call.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    >I translated "はい" as "go" because translating it as "yes" sounded kind of dumb to me, any other suggestions?

    I think "go" is fine.

    >The beginning is with this "Skip"

    I would suggest something like "we begin with a skip"?

    >And up next we take a tight, "Step"

    ぎゅっと is "tight" when it's used with, say, 抱きしめて or 握りしめて, but overall the sense is more of doing something strongly/firmly/emphatically. I don't know what would be the right English adjective to use with "step" to communicate that, but "tight" isn't the word you want here, I think.

    As for integrating "step" into the sentence, I think it's fine as is, but I would probably take out the comma before it.

    I'm not sure what you should do about about the rest. Random English thrown into Japanese lines is always a pain to try to work around.
    Last edited by bluepenguin; 10-15-2017 at 02:51 PM.

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    Default Re: New Game!!- JUMPin' JUMP UP!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    [...]
    >The beginning is with this "Skip"

    I would suggest something like "we begin with a skip"?

    >And up next we take a tight, "Step"

    ぎゅっと is "tight" when it's used with, say, 抱きしめて or 握りしめて, but overall the sense is more of doing something strongly/firmly/emphatically. I don't know what would be the right English adjective to use with "step" to communicate that, but "tight" isn't the word you want here, I think.
    [...]
    While I have to admit that "we begin with a skip" does sound better, "始まり" is still a noun so I'm not that comfortable with your Idea, even though it sounds better.

    For the second thing: How does 'a firm "step"' sound?
    Last edited by Ghdf; 10-15-2017 at 04:03 PM.

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