I'll have to admit that I am not really good at translating. This is something I have started just recently as a hobby. And English is my third language. I am not sure where I have made mistakes in this translation and I'll be glad if someone could point them out. I want to improve my translations but, other than requesting you, I can think of no other way.

指を組み踊りましょう
Interlocking our fingers, let's dance.
揃いの真白い服は
Our like pure white clothes are dyed
窓と同じ
Like the window
たそがれ色に染まっています
In colours of twilight.

[1]あれはダフネ薫る春
That was Daphne's fragrant spring.
この“今”は永遠ではなく
This "now" won't last for eternity.
ふたり分かつ刻は来ると
Realizing that the time will come when we are divided into two
悟り泣いたのは
I cried.

ここが黄泉の国ならいい
It is okay if this place is the country of hell.
うつろなる蒼き互いの瞳に
In our like eyes that become hollow
まだ知らぬ哀しみの代わり
As the substitute of the sadness we do not yet know
滲ませたい 美しい闇
I want to blur that beautiful darkness.

胸合わせ回りましょう
Pressing our chests together, let's go round in circles
甘く馨し乙女の姿で
As sweetly fragrant maidens.

[2]靴音は重なって
The sounds of footsteps concur with each other,
[3]響くどこかにある
Resounding somewhere,
空の彼方
Beyond the sky.

あなたはわたしの死
You are my death.
わたしはあなたの生
I am your life.
それはひとつの生を
That is so that one life
死に続けるための
Continues to death.

受け継いだものは何
What is it that we have inherited?
出会えぬ父さまは誰
Who is the father I am not able to happen to meet?
格子の外
At the other side of this latticework
華やぐ声が通り過ぎます
A vivid voice passes by.

ここは黄泉の地下なのです
This is the place under hell.
うつろなる蒼き四っつの瞳は
The four blue eyes that become hollow
夜ばかり見つめていたから
Because they would gaze at night
一目(ひとつ)に溶けてしまいそう
Seem to melt into one.

離れずに巡りましょう
Let us detour without being separated.
次の世でまた
In the world that is next,
目覚める一緒に
We'll wake up together again.

始めからやり直す
We will start over from the beginning.
光る朝露
In the shining morning mist,
開かぬ瞼へ
We will go the eyelids that do not open.

わたしはまだ少女
I am still a girl.
あなたはまだ人形
You are still a doll.
生も死も同じ舞台の上
Life and death stand on the same stage
グラン・ギニョール
At Grand Guignol.

[1] As 薫る is an intransitive verb, I had to translate it as this. But can I say it was the spring that made Daphne fragrant? That will be wrong, right? Can I translate this line in any other way?

[2] 重ねる is another verb I have a lot of trouble with. Is there any better way to translate this line? I thought using concur would convey the same meaning but, in other cases, perhaps where it is used to mean something is literally overlaping something else (eg. 肌は重ねられない), how should I translate it?

[3] I have assumed that this place is somewhere beyond the sky. Is my assumption wrong?

Other than these, are there any problems in my translation? Are there any grammatical errors?