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Thread: Translation help/review: Thanatos Night Songs

  1. #1
    Junior Member amillionsuns is on a distinguished road amillionsuns's Avatar
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    Default Translation help/review: Thanatos Night Songs

    I was wondering if someone could help me review/proofread these translations? I love this series, but I was having trouble translating these two songs. Moreover, my Japanese is still at beginner level... I was having a lot of trouble with the bolded lyrics...

    Thank you so much!

    Midnight Seeker

    時が止まる真夜中
    Midnight, when time stops
    君の足音の先
    Your footsteps ahead
    方にすがるぬくもり
    You held onto my warmth (?)
    けがれない罪は
    The innocent sin

    のどに絡んだ空気
    With the words stuck in your throat (?)
    ひどく傷ついてるの?
    Are you badly injured?
    でもね許しあえない
    But I cannot forgive you
    選んだのはだれか
    Who did you choose?

    売れてる痛みつかむのさ
    I want to understand your familiar pain
    目の裏のShadow見せてよ?
    Will you show me shadows behind your eyes?
    愛と優菜のよくぼうじゃ
    The desire to love and exist
    語り切れないキスで
    With a kiss to those who talk to much

    (Lock you) 閉じ込めたCage
    (Lock you) Imprisoned in a cage
    (Seek you) 押し殺さずに
    (Seek You) With pressure to kill (?)
    (Call you) 古びたRingと
    (Call you) with an old ringtone
    抜け出せないLies
    I cannot extract the lies

    (Synergy)相乗効果
    (Synergy) Synergy
    (肌と)肌が解けていく
    (With skin) Skin will be removed (?)
    (Save Me) 濡れた動向には
    (Save Me) For wet tendencies (?)
    ドロドロした世界
    A world that was dead

    Yeah

    町は眠らないんだ
    The town does not sleep
    青いNeon signと
    With the blue Neon sign
    傷を重ねてみれば
    See if you repeatedly wound yourself (?)
    夢を語るEvery night
    Every night talking about dreams

    うまく伝えきれない
    I cannot communicate it well
    どこか据えたにおいで
    The scent I placed
    本音隠しあうんだ
    The true intention was concealed (?)
    部屋に満ちたSecret
    Secrets filled the room

    奪う決意はできている
    My determination to steal has been raised.
    いのちのMission挑もう
    Let's challenge the mission of life
    臨界点はこの先に
    The critical point is ahead
    終わりを告げるキスで
    With a kiss signaling the end

    (Lock me) ねじ込んだPhrase
    (Lock me) A phrase of complaint
    (Seek me) ありふれた愛
    (Seek me) A mundane love
    (Call me) その中で狂う
    (Call me) Among the insane
    吐き出せない果て
    My confession will not come out

    (Synergy)相乗効果
    (Synergy) Synergy
    (夢が)夢を締め付けて
    (Dreams) Hold tightly onto your dreams
    (Hold Me) がんじがらめになる
    (Hold Me) Bound firmly
    ねばねばした世界
    A sticky world

    (Lock you) 閉じ込めたCage
    (Lock you) Imprisoned in a cage
    (Seek you) 押し殺さずに
    (Seek You) With pressure to kill (?)
    (Call you) 古びたRingと
    (Call you) with an old ringtone
    抜け出せないLies
    I cannot extract the lies

    (Synergy)相乗効果
    (Synergy) Synergy
    (肌と)肌が解けていく
    (With skin) Skin will be removed (?)
    (Save Me) 濡れた動向には
    (Save Me) For wet tendencies (?)
    ドロドロした世界
    A world that was dead

    Midnight Seeker

    ---------- Post added at 09:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:52 PM ----------

    Snowdrop


    冷たい目で時計にらみ
    Looking at the clock with cold eyes,
    なにをおもう(いたみのなか)
    What do you think? (Inside of you)
    可憐な君白い肌が
    Your pretty white skin…
    眩しすぎて(とざしたいよ)
    It’s too dazzling. (I want to say something)


    唇に
    On your lips,
    残した熱身を
    the warmth that I left.

    凍てついた花心泊り
    The frozen flower stays
    涙があふれて
    With tears overflowing
    美しい誓い
    A beautiful oath
    死んでる君の魂
    Your soul, dead

    永遠
    Forever

    求めてられて花ひらいて
    Asked to blossom,
    新しいひ(こないのにね)
    A new day (Even though it does not come)
    とけてきえたふたりの中
    Inside the two of them
    甘いくすりかみくだいて
    A sweet medicine

    泣きたくなる
    I want to cry
    夜には抱いて
    Hold me at night


    錆ついた夢誰に誓い
    Rusted dreams vowed to anyone
    言葉失えば
    If you lose your words
    無慈悲な僕には
    To the ruthless me,
    優しく微笑まないで
    Do not gently smile

    お願い
    Please

    Ah

    凍てついた花心泊り
    The frozen flower stays
    涙があふれて
    With tears overflowing
    美しい誓い
    A beautiful oath
    死んでる君の魂
    Your soul, dead

    永遠
    Forever
    Last edited by amillionsuns; 04-02-2017 at 08:32 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Translation help/review: Thanatos Night Songs

    I can't comment on all of your translation but here are some thoughts ...
    君の足音の先
    Your footsteps ahead
    Are you sure that doesn't mean "after your footsteps"
    方にすがるぬくもり
    You held onto my warmth (?)
    sugaru is intransitive, "warmth that clings to 方". Are you sure you have the right kanji for kata?
    (Seek you) 押し殺さずに
    (Seek You) With pressure to kill (?)
    It means squeeze/crush to death, but -zu is a negative ending. It means "without crushing you to death".
    抜け出せないLies
    I cannot extract the lies
    nukedasu is intransitve, and it means to get away. Maybe, "Lies I can't escape from"?
    (肌と)肌が解けていく
    (With skin) Skin will be removed (?)
    Doesn't tokeru mean "melt"? So, "[my or someone's] skin is melting away"
    ドロドロした世界
    A world that was dead
    I'm not an expert on dorodoro but I think it means "muddy" or of a mud-lke consistency ...
    傷を重ねてみれば
    See if you repeatedly wound yourself (?)
    Miru here doesn't literally mean "see", it means "try it out". "If you keep on wounding [yourself or someone else]"
    うまく伝えきれない
    I cannot communicate it well
    I think the idea is that you can't do it properly because there's so much to say.
    本音隠しあうんだ
    The true intention was concealed (?)
    -au means that they each did it to each other. "We concealed our true intentions [from each other]"
    奪う決意はできている
    My determination to steal has been raised.
    Maybe "I'm now ready to steal", literally, "my determination to steal has been produced."
    いのちのMission挑もう
    Let's challenge the mission of life
    Well idomu means to challenge someone, but also to take on a challenge: "Let's take on the mission".
    (Seek me) ありふれた愛
    (Seek me) A mundane love
    Ordinary love maybe?
    (Call me) その中で狂う
    (Call me) Among the insane
    "I'm going crazy among them" maybe?

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    Default Re: Translation help/review: Thanatos Night Songs

    Hello to both of you! Thank you very much for the translation for "Midnight Seeker" and the revision that Raichu-san did. I also am looking for the lyrics to the Thanatos Night songs. If you have any other translations, please do share them because my Japanese is very limited. Even a translation like this one is appreciated because at least it is possible to understand most of what Oliver is saying. Finally, is is possible that he's saying, "I am a midnight seeker in this muddy/horrible world."?

    Thanks and take care.

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