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Thread: Eir Aoi - Sanbika (from Kill La Kill)

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    Default Eir Aoi - Sanbika (from Kill La Kill)

    This is a pretty popular song that surprisingly hasn't been translated yet, so I decided to take a stab. This is my first proper song translation and I still haven't grasped how to correctly infer missing subjects/particles/objects properly (I have a problem with not knowing when the author means I, we, you etc.) so I'd appreciate any advice/comments/corrections!

    I marked parts which I am not sure about in square brackets, [1], [2]...

    サンビカ (Hymn)

    信じることに疲れ 
    閉じた世界から抜け出せずに
    一人きりで座り込んでいた 
    ドアには鍵などかかってないのに

    Exhausted by my beliefs,
    Without being able to leave this closed world
    I sat down, all alone, for a long time,
    even though the door wasn’t locked or anything

    誰もがみんな本当は 
    翼を持っているんだって
    気づいたらこの世界も変わるから

    If everybody realized
    “Hey, all of us actually have wings!”
    then this world too might change, so

    夜明けのサンビカ 心で歌う 
    輝く明日を 目指して踏み出せば
    できないことなんてきっと無いから 
    何も恐れることなんて無い

    I’ll sing the hymn of the dawn in my heart [1]
    If we set our sights on the bright tomorrow and take the first steps out
    Then there won't be any impossible tasks,
    so there’s nothing to be afraid of

    まだ見ぬファンタジー 心に描く 
    君の笑顔がこの胸にあるから
    覚めない夢今も見続けては
    Growin'!

    Inside my heart, I’ll paint an as-yet-unknown fantasy [2],
    because your smile remains in my heart
    Continuing to live in this dream that I haven't awakened from,
    I’m growing, growing, growing

    真実を追いかけて 
    走り続けた日々の中で
    気づいたことはこの世界には 
    陽はまた必ず昇るっていうこと

    What I have realized during the days of continuous running
    and chasing down the truth
    Is that, in this world,
    the sun will definitely rise again.

    ビルの谷間に咲いた 
    名前もない花だって
    朝日を浴びて輝くよ

    Even the nameless flowers
    that bloomed in the valleys between buildings
    will shine, bathed in the morning sun

    命のサンビカ 君も知っているよ 
    この世に無意味なコトなんてないから
    足りないモノなんて数えても 
    何も解決なんてしないでしょう
    The hymn of life, you know it too
    In this world, there isn’t anything that is meaningless, so
    Even if you count all the things that you don’t have enough of,
    it’s not going to solve anything, right? [3]

    心のシンパシー
    誰かが泣いてる 
    寄り添えなくても
    繋がっていたいから
    止まない雨なんてありはしないんだと Trust me!

    Sympathy from my heart
    Someone is crying
    Even if I can’t get close to them to provide comfort,
    I still want to connect to them in some way
    “There’s no rain that lasts forever, trust me!” (I want to say to them)[4]

    信じることに疲れ 
    真実を追いかけて
    Exhausted by my beliefs,
    chasing down the truth

    両手に溢れそうな 夢を翼に変えて
    未来へと飛び立つ時は今
    Let’s turn the dreams that seem like they might overflow our hands into wings
    The time for us to leap into the future is right now

    夜明けに鳴り響くサンビカ 命の歌声 
    輝く明日を 目指して踏み出せば
    できないことなんてきっと無いから 
    何も恐れることなんて無い

    The hymn that rings out across the dawn The voice of life itself
    If we set our sights on the bright tomorrow and take the first steps out
    Then surely there won’t be any impossible tasks,
    so there’s nothing to be afraid of

    まだ見ぬファンタジー 心に描く 
    君の笑顔がこの胸にあるから
    覚めない夢今も見続けては 
    Growin'!

    Inside my heart, I’ll paint an as-yet-unknown fantasy,
    because your smile remains in me
    Continuing to live in this dream that I haven't awakened from,
    I’m growing, growing, growing

    [1]: Does 心で歌う mean sing ‘in’ or ‘with’ my heart?

    [2]: This line just doesn’t translate well into English. I think that 描く here doesn’t mean to literally paint but more like brainstorming/conceptualization/fleshing out of the fantasy. I might be completely off.

    [3] I’m not sure if 君も知ってるよ refers to the 命のサンビカ or the line after. Also, the から doesn’t seem to link causally to anything in the context. Generally the whole verse doesn’t really make sense to me. Am I missing something?

    [4] Not sure if my understanding of the whole verse is correct here.

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    Default Re: Eir Aoi - Sanbika (from Kill La Kill)

    Hi! Your translation actually looks pretty good, for a first try. Here's a few things I spotted:

    Exhausted by my beliefs,
    Without being able to leave this closed world
    I sat down, all alone, for a long time,
    even though the door wasn’t locked or anything


    I think this is more of a 'Without leaving this closed world' instead. The ability to leave isn't indicated by 「踏み出せずに」.

    I’ll sing the hymn of the dawn in my heart [1]
    If we set our sights on the bright tomorrow and take the first steps out
    Then there won't be any impossible tasks,
    so there’s nothing to be afraid of


    Hmm 'in' would usually be indicated by 「に」, so yeah, it's leaning more towards 'with', though both are possible. Also the line, 'Then there won't be any impossible tasks' might sound better as, 'Surely there's nothing we can't do'. But it's just a thought.

    Inside my heart, I’ll paint an as-yet-unknown fantasy [2],
    because your smile remains in my heart
    Continuing to live in this dream that I haven't awakened from,
    I’m growing, growing, growing


    Yeahh, I can sort of see what you mean with this one. Maybe 'sketch out' would come close? Ah, I think that まだ見ぬ is more of an 'unseen / yet to be seen', too.

    Even the nameless flowers
    that bloomed in the valleys between buildings
    will shine, bathed in the morning sun


    'Valleys' give such a soft feel to the spaces between buildings in a town- which often seem so industrial and barren. Perhaps 'chasms'? Your choice though.

    The hymn of life, you know it too
    In this world, there isn’t anything that is meaningless, so
    Even if you count all the things that you don’t have enough of,
    it’s not going to solve anything, right? [3]


    I think you inferred it correctly. Yeah, I'm not too sure about this one, either. Ah, 'all the' doesn't really belong in there though, you could do without it.

    Sympathy from my heart
    Someone is crying
    Even if I can’t get close to them to provide comfort,
    I still want to connect to them in some way
    “There’s no rain that lasts forever, trust me!” (I want to say to them)[4]


    This is a little tricky. The first two lines in particular are sort of abstract. Personally, my take on this would be:

    'Someone is crying
    In the sympathy of my heart
    Even if I can't be close to them,
    I want to connect to/with them'

    Your last line looks good, though! I don't think you'll have to add in the words in brackets though, the context speaks pretty well for itself.

    The hymn that rings out across the dawn The voice of life itself
    If we set our sights on the bright tomorrow and take the first steps out

    「歌声」 is singing voice. Your choice on how to combine it into the sentence, though I'd suggest a comma or hyphen or something.

    Hope that I was able to help, if even a little! (:
    Last edited by Rei; 06-02-2016 at 01:50 PM.

    できねぇ時?
    そん時ゃ諸共心中だよ





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    Default Re: Eir Aoi - Sanbika (from Kill La Kill)

    Hey there!

    >信じることに疲れ

    I think this it's more like, "Tired of believing...". こと can either mean the act of [something], or many things relating to [whatever].
    In this case, I believe the singer is tired of the act itself... if that makes sense.

    >[1]: Does 心で歌う mean sing ‘in’ or ‘with’ my heart?

    I'd personally lean toward "in". 心から is usually being used for that kind of thing.

    >止まない雨なんてありはしないんだと Trust me!

    I actually think it's, "Trust me [that], there's no rain that lasts forever!".
    I see where you get the "(I want to say to them)" part. だと can get pretty confusing, but I'm pretty sure it refers to "Trust me!" (だと here is basically the "that" in this line, but you're probably better off without actually adding it).
    Oh, and there shouldn't be any quotation marks.

    >[2]: This line just doesn’t translate well into English. I think that 描く here doesn’t mean to literally paint but more like brainstorming/conceptualization/fleshing out of the fantasy. I might be completely off.

    "Envision", maybe? And I'm with Rei on the まだ見ぬ thing. It could be translated as "unknown", though, depending on the context.

    >両手に溢れそうな 夢を翼に変えて
    未来へと飛び立つ時は今

    These two lines are just one big sentence.
    (Now is the time to turn the dreams that seem like they might overflowing in our hands into wings,
    And leap into the future.)

    It's a bit clunky, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it right now.

    Hope that helps!
    Last edited by Haze~; 06-02-2016 at 06:23 PM.

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    Default Re: Eir Aoi - Sanbika (from Kill La Kill)

    Thanks for the comments! I'm just going to address them individually.

    > I think this is more of a 'Without leaving this closed world' instead. The ability to leave isn't indicated by 「踏み出せずに」.

    Yeah I thought so at first too, but then I noticed that 抜け出せず is conjugated from the potential 抜け出せる and not the regular form... is that right?

    > Hmm 'in' would usually be indicated by 「に」, so yeah, it's leaning more towards 'with', though both are possible. Also the line, 'Then there won't be any impossible tasks' might sound better as, 'Surely there's nothing we can't do'. But it's just a thought.

    > Yeahh, I can sort of see what you mean with this one. Maybe 'sketch out' would come close? Ah, I think that まだ見ぬ is more of an 'unseen / yet to be seen', too.

    Good points, sketch might work indeed. Yeah I see your point about まだ見ぬ. Unseen/yet-to-be-seen fantasy sounds very unnatural though

    > 'Valleys' give such a soft feel to the spaces between buildings in a town- which often seem so industrial and barren. Perhaps 'chasms'? Your choice though.

    Chasms is a good word, thanks! I hated the word valley but never got back to it, haha. I did think of cracks but that's more like 隙間 and forgot about it after.

    > 「歌声」 is singing voice. Your choice on how to combine it into the sentence, though I'd suggest a comma or hyphen or something.

    Yeah I caught that, it's just not something that's used in English so it sounds unnatural. I might go with "The sound of life itself singing" perhaps

    Haze:

    > I think this it's more like, "Tired of believing...". こと can either mean the act of [something], or many things relating to [whatever].
    In this case, I believe the singer is tired of the act itself... if that makes sense.

    What you are saying makes sense technically. However I think it's unlikely that the singer is tired of every act of believing (just probably her beliefs with regard to her philosophy, and in other people probably, but not believing in science, math, hard facts etc). And if the author intended this he might have used 信じるのに疲れ instead of こと? Not sure about that though, going out on a limb here.

    My understanding is that 信じること is often used to refer to beliefs as in one's worldview, or the truths one holds close to the heart, which seems to fit better here.

    > I actually think it's, "Trust me [that], there's no rain that lasts forever!".

    I agree, sounds like it's citing a proverb/quote

    "There's no rain that lasts forever", trust me!

    But because I wanted to include the implied "i want to say" which would need another layer of quote, something like

    ' "there's no rain that lasts forever!", trust me!', I want to say to them

    so I removed the inner layer. But like Rei said I didn't really need to add the unspoken part, so...

    > These two lines are just one big sentence.
    (Now is the time to turn the dreams that seem like they might overflowing in our hands into wings,
    And leap into the future.)

    The more I look at it, the more this sounds plausible....

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