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Thread: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's lyrics

  1. #1
    Junior Member Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun has a brilliant future Keiichi-kun's Avatar
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    Question Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's lyrics

    As the question implies, I'd like for someone to provide me with the romaji lyrics of this song:

    .

    The name of the song is 「生きとし生けるもの」– "All Living Things". I serves as the ED of the Visual Novel "Bishoujo Mangekyou –Norowareshi Densetsu no Shoujo– (美少女万華鏡 ―呪われし伝説の少女―, lit. Pretty Girl Kaleidoscope –The Legendary Cursed Girl–)" : https://vndb.org/v8038. Don't mind the title of the video. It's put there as "OP", though, that's definitely an error.

    My Japanese hearing skill isn't too great yet, so I need things on paper. I really like this song, but I just can't for the hell of me seem to find the lyrics for it. So now, if someone with more skill in the Japanese language than me would be willing to help me out, I'd truly appreciate that.

    What I am most definitely certain about up to now is the beginning:

    果てなく続いてゆく – Hatenaku tsuzuite yukuEven with no boundary in sight, I continue to follow you.
    生きとし生けるもの – Iki toshi ikeru mono waAll living things
    あるがことの出来ない – Aru ga koto no dekinaihave things they can't do.

    Still contemplating about the rest, so would appreciate any help I can get...
    Last edited by Keiichi-kun; 05-08-2016 at 09:01 AM.

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    Default Re: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's ly

    Hi there! Here's what I managed to make out of it:

    果てなく続いてゆく
    生きとし生けるものは
    抗うことの出来ない
    散り行く輪廻抱いて

    Hatenaku tsuzuiteyuku
    Ikitoshi ikeru mono wa
    Aragau koto no dekinai
    Chiriyuku rinne daite

    記憶の隙間で
    ただ微笑む瞳が
    儚くこぼれた運命さえ
    光で照らしてゆく

    Kioku no sukima de
    Tada hohoemu hitomi ga
    Hakanaku koboreta unmei sae
    Hikari de terashiteyuku

    闇を放したこの手を繋ぐ
    穢れなき宵 咲き誇るように
    夢から覚めた昨日の声をずっと聞かせて
    一人歩いてゆく

    Yami wo hanashita kono te wo tsunagu
    Kegarenaki yoi sakihokoru you ni
    Yume kara sameta kinou no koe wo zutto kikasete
    Hitori aruiteyuku

    On a side note, "have things they can't do" would be "出来ないことがある" --- the way you have it, it doesn't really mean anything.
    I'd also say the first 2 lines are connected and mean something like, "All of the endless living things.../all of the living things there's no end to...".
    If you don't really care about that stuff, though, feel free to ignore this.
    Last edited by Haze~; 05-08-2016 at 01:54 PM.

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    Default Re: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's ly

    First of all, thank you for taking the time to do this, I really appreciate your effort!! Second, I'd like to ask you to quickly check my translations and see if they make some sense, if you are so able. Sorry for the trouble.

    果てなく続いてゆく
    生きとし生けるものは
    抗うことの出来ない
    散り行く輪廻抱いて

    Hatenaku tsuzuiteyuku
    Ikitoshi ikeru mono wa
    Aragau koto no dekinai
    Chiriyuku rinne daite

    All of the endless
    living things
    have something they can't fight against.
    As they are stuck in the embrace of the endless cycle of death and rebirth.

    記憶の隙間で
    ただ微笑む瞳が
    儚くこぼれた運命さえ
    光で照らしてゆく

    Kioku no sukima de
    Tada hohoemu hitomi ga
    Hakanaku koboreta unmei sae
    Hikari de terashiteyuku

    Through the crack of my memories,
    I remember your eyes and your smile, when but
    a faint fate starts to become visible
    as light continues to shine upon me as I go. (This paragraph wasn't easy, so I'm sure there are errors)

    闇を放したこの手を繋ぐ 穢れなき宵
    咲き誇るように
    夢から覚めた昨日の声をずっと聞かせて
    一人歩いてゆく

    Yami wo hanashita kono te wo tsunagu kegarenaki yoi
    Sakihokoru you ni
    Yume kara sameta kinou no koe wo zutto kikasete
    Hitori aruiteyuku

    But in the darkness, our hands that were once intertwined have now been separated from one another.
    And on this pure night, I feel as if I'm a flower that is in full bloom.
    When I awoke from that dream, I wanted you to let me hear yesterday's voice, forevermore.
    As I continue to walk by myself...

    If you do decide to check through these, I hope my translations didn't make you cringe, lol.
    Last edited by Keiichi-kun; 05-08-2016 at 04:14 PM.

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    Default Re: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's ly

    For this stanza:

    記憶の隙間で
    ただ微笑む瞳が
    儚くこぼれた運命さえ
    光で照らしてゆく

    I think it would be something along the lines of-

    In the cracks of my memories
    Just your smiling eyes (Your eyes and smile would be 「微笑みと瞳」 instead)
    Shine light
    On even our fleetingly overflowing destiny

    or

    In the cracks of my memories
    With just your smiling eyes
    Even our fleetingly overflowing destiny
    Is illuminated by light

    Kind of prefer the first one though; it's more in context.

    闇を放したこの手を繋ぐ 穢れなき宵
    咲き誇るように
    夢から覚めた昨日の声をずっと聞かせて
    一人歩いてゆく

    On this pure night, I join my hand with yours, that has let go of darkness
    As if blooming,
    let me always hear yesterday's voice, which woke from a dream
    I'll walk alone

    To me those last sentences don't gel together very well, but it's what I can make out of the lyrics. Have to be a bit careful with the particles! (:

    できねぇ時?
    そん時ゃ諸共心中だよ





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    Default Re: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's ly

    "生きとし生けるものは... 散り行く輪廻抱いて" means that the living things embrace the cycle of death and rebirth, not vice versa. Also, I would tend to see "抗うことの出来ない" as modifying "輪廻", which would make the last two lines of that stanza something like "... embrace the [scattering] cycle of death and rebirth / without being able to defy it."

    With the second stanza, I think what you need to keep in mind is that it's a sentence with a single verb--all the other verbs besides 照らしてゆく are playing an adjectival role, modifying nouns. It comes out something like "In the crevice of my memories / Only those smiling eyes / illuminate with light* / even my fleetingly visible destiny." (If I were translating this with the intention of posting it, I'd find a much less clunky way of wording it, but I'm not, so oh well.)

    *This is so redundant, but that's what it says.

    In the third stanza, again, 闇を放した modifies この手 while 繋ぐ is the main verb; notice also that it's "闇", not に or anything like that. So it's something like "We join these hands that have released the darkness." Your take on "穢れなき宵 咲き誇るように" is pretty good, although I would see it as a continuation of the previous line--"... as if in full bloom on this pure night." In the third line, 夢から覚めた is again modifying 昨日の声, so that's something like "Let me always hear the voice of the yesterday which awoke from its dream" (ugh, clunky again, but you get the idea). Fourth line looks good.

    I don't think your translation is cringeworthy at all--you picked a tricky thing for a beginner to work on (above and beyond how tricky songs are just in general), and I think you've got good instincts and an admirable desire to avoid translatorese/strict literalism (which is something a lot of beginners fall into--they're not certain of their interpretation, so they stick to being as literal as possible, even when it sounds... well, as awkward as my translation of the second stanza up there). You just need to keep working on Japanese grammar, and in particular keeping an eye out for verbs (or entire clauses!) being used like adjectives.

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    Default Re: Is there someone adept enough at Japanese to be able to figure out this song's ly

    Thank you, Haze~, Rei and bluepenguin! I appreciate all of your input and constructive criticism (this goes to you, bluepenguin xp) and will be taking it with me as I learn more and more. I hope that one day, I can become as skilled as you three and help out others as you helped me today.

    @Rei , @bluepenguin : I know「微笑みと瞳」translates to "your eyes and your smile" (well, it's backwards, but this way flows better in English), but the reason I went with my version is because I thought "smiling eyes" sounded weird. Even when you consider it as a metaphor, it's still a bit bizarre. I dunno, maybe that's just me. I suppose I'll just have to accept it, as a song is a literary art form and the original Japanese lyrics indeed do say so.

    Well in any case, I might see you again once I bump into some other trouble regarding translations. Or when I need some missing lyrics and can't find them online and the original soundtrack does not contain any official lyric sheets (ヽ(o`皿′o)ノ).

    Anyway, I'll continue studying some more online and with existing translations.

    Thank you once again!
    Last edited by Keiichi-kun; 05-09-2016 at 05:06 PM.

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