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Thread: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

  1. #1
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    Default Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    http://www.animelyrics.com/game/clan...kanaubasho.htm

    @AzureDark , since you're back now, you can vet my corrections for non-legacy lyrics, right?

    > だからまたひとつ忘れた
    > So the I had again forgotten

    For starters, "so the I" is not good English; further, "またひとつ" doesn't mean "again," but "another/one more thing." Thus, "And so I had forgotten one more thing."

    >夕闇に呑まれ手放さぬようにと
    >Not to release your hands in the engulfing twilight

    "~ようにと" usually indicates telling someone to do/not do something, so, "I told you not to be swallowed up by the twilight and let go of me" ("not to let yourself be...", or is that too much poetic license?)

    >走るオリオン追い越して
    >最後に冬が行く
    >春まで続く坂道で
    >触れってただけ願ってただけ

    >Passing away the running Orion,
    >the winter goes at last
    >at the hill leading to spring
    >Only to touch, only to hope

    "追い越す" is to pass by or overtake; "坂道" is specifically "hill road," and the last line doesn't take into account the tense of the verbs at all.

    "Overtaking the running Orion,
    In the end, winter goes
    On the hill road leading to spring,
    We were only touching, we were only wishing"

    There are also a couple errors in the translit: "tehanasanu" for "tebanasanu" and "tsudsuku" for "tsudzuku."

    @Mousou Machine has apparently not logged in since 2009 but I'll PM them anyway. I'll post a full translation later when I have more time.

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    Default Re: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    Okay, full translation:

    And so I forgot one more thing
    The spring morning when the petals fell
    The sky seen through a broken prism
    I just want to touch them, just want to wish for them

    I was laughing, pretending not to notice
    Sad summer dreams
    Melted down and filled the gaps
    Dream after dream

    What I was wishing for...

    I draw closer and return to your side
    Now only a small insect
    Is just listening with bated breath
    To the quiet song of autumn

    "Don't be swallowed up by the twilight and let go of me"

    Overtaking the running Orion
    In the end, winter goes
    On the hill road leading to spring
    We were just touching, we were just wishing

    We were just wishing

    (I'll take feedback on this, though--the lyrics are a bit weird and elliptical.)

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    Default Re: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    Hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion... as for the "autumn" stanza, I interpreted it as the insect (a cricket maybe?) being the one making the song, and the singer is listening to it. Something like "Now I hold my breath and just listen carefully / to just that tiny insect"

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    Default Re: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    Quote Originally Posted by Rizuchan View Post
    Hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion... as for the "autumn" stanza, I interpreted it as the insect (a cricket maybe?) being the one making the song, and the singer is listening to it. Something like "Now I hold my breath and just listen carefully / to just that tiny insect"
    That would make more sense as an image, but grammatically, it's "小さな虫だけ息潜めて耳すます," which seems to mark the insect as the subject pretty unambiguously?

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    Default Re: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    OK if the original poster doesn't say anything I agree with replacing the t/l from the way the current one reads.

    ...so that you know where you can find me

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    Default Re: Clannad - Negai ga Kanau Basho

    Okay, it's been a month, so I'm going to go ahead with the replacement.

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