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Thread: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

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    Junior Member vulturex is on a distinguished road vulturex's Avatar
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    Default Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/nor...achiawase.html
    3 paragraph 3 line
    塞いだ僕のいる場所は
    is translated as
    The cold place where i am
    Isn't a mistranslation because the translator confused the kanji 塞, which make the verb 塞ぐ(ふさぐ)(to occupy,to fill up, to block), with the kanji 寒, which make the adjetive 寒い(さむい)(cold)
    The right translation wouldn't be something like
    -the place where i occupy-
    or something like that?
    Sorry for bad english ^_^
    Last edited by vulturex; 01-21-2015 at 06:53 PM. Reason: forget topic and mistyped link

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Wow nice catch. @Achamo please respond.

    ...so that you know where you can find me

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Great information. Thanks for the posts.

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Isn't a mistranslation because the translator confused the kanji 塞, which make the verb 塞ぐ(ふさぐ)(to occupy,to fill up, to block), with the kanji 寒, which make the adjetive 寒い(さむい)(cold)
    Great catch. It's kind-of funny because people are always saying not to use romaji when studying Japanese, but if the translator had worked from the romaji or listened to the song while translating they wouldn't have made that mistake.

    The right translation wouldn't be something like
    -the place where i occupy-
    or something like that?
    Yes and no. The rest of the sentence makes the translation more complicated.

    Fusaida boku no iru basho wa
    Dare ni mo wakaranai
    "boku no iru basho"="where I am" (lit. the location in which I am)

    "fusaida" is a second relative clause that modifies "basho" (not "boku"), and it tells you that the location (which is a room) is "blocked off" or "closed off" from the outside world.

    There's actually a second mistake/mistranslation that has to do with the next line.

    The next line completes the sentence. If you ignore the "fusaida" part, then you get "boku no iru basho wa dare ni mo wakaranai".
    That means "no one knows where I am" or "No one can tell where I am". When you add the fusaida part back in things get complicated and the translation stops being straightforward because of grammatical restrictions/differences in English.

    I'd say let's give Achamo a chance to decide how to deal with the issue.

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Quote Originally Posted by GrammarNinja64 View Post
    Great catch. It's kind-of funny because people are always saying not to use romaji when studying Japanese, but if the translator had worked from the romaji or listened to the song while translating they wouldn't have made that mistake.



    Yes and no. The rest of the sentence makes the translation more complicated.



    "boku no iru basho"="where I am" (lit. the location in which I am)

    "fusaida" is a second relative clause that modifies "basho" (not "boku"), and it tells you that the location (which is a room) is "blocked off" or "closed off" from the outside world.

    There's actually a second mistake/mistranslation that has to do with the next line.

    The next line completes the sentence. If you ignore the "fusaida" part, then you get "boku no iru basho wa dare ni mo wakaranai".
    That means "no one knows where I am" or "No one can tell where I am". When you add the fusaida part back in things get complicated and the translation stops being straightforward because of grammatical restrictions/differences in English.

    I'd say let's give Achamo a chance to decide how to deal with the issue.
    Achamo's had almost six months by now; I think if they haven't responded yet, they're not going to. With your permission, I'd be happy to replace the lines in question with your translation and credit you in the footnotes. Or you (or someone else) could do a full retranslation, because there are a few other issues with the current one (mostly that it's very much taking each individual line separately and some meaning's getting lost there), but there don't seem to be any other major errors like that one, so I don't think a retranslation is strictly necessary if no one wants to spend the time on it.

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    Or you (or someone else) could do a full retranslation, because there are a few other issues with the current one (mostly that it's very much taking each individual line separately and some meaning's getting lost there), but there don't seem to be any other major errors like that one, so I don't think a retranslation is strictly necessary if no one wants to spend the time on it.
    Actually, there is at least one major error there now that I look back at it (as well as a few minor details that make the song difficult to understand). It has to do with the clock parts.

    Also, there's a "secret" to the song, which is that there aren't actually two people involved. There's only one person the whole time.

    The first time I posted I hadn't looked at the whole song so I didn't notice. When I did look at the whole song I got suspicious and did some googling and managed to confirm my suspicions right away. See this blog post from the band about the song

    So I suppose I'll take a crack at a retranslation.

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    I attached my translation as a text file.

    I wasn't sure how you normally format things so that they match up with the romaji.

    My translation follows the stanzas and puts a blank line between each one, except for certain places at the end. Not all the stanzas have the same number of lines in the translation.

    Where the current romaji looks like this,

    Heikou shite boku wa matteita
    Usugurai heya hitorikiri
    Heikou shite boku wa matteita
    DOA wo keyaburu sono oto wo
    Heikou shite boku ga matteita
    Usugurai heya hitorikiri
    Heikou shite boku ga matteita
    Mou osoreru koto wa nai yo
    I decided to split the last line off. So it should now look like this:

    Heikou shite boku wa matteita
    Usugurai heya hitorikiri
    Heikou shite boku wa matteita
    DOA wo keyaburu sono oto wo
    Heikou shite boku ga matteita
    Usugurai heya hitorikiri
    Heikou shite boku ga matteita

    Mou osoreru koto wa nai yo
    Same story with the final stanza, but you don't need to change that one since it's the end. There can't be any confusion.

    Question: Is it possible to put the song title in kanji on the kanji page? And also to change the title's translation?

    The original translator @Achamo made a mistake with the title. It looks like Achamo thought the "goya" was 後夜 (the period of time after midnight but before morning). It's actually 午夜 (another word for midnight). Apparently that "goya"'s kanji/definition options don't appear in the common dictionaries (such as jisho.org), so people would have a hard time looking that word up if they don't have the correct kanji.

    I'd like to change the translation of the title to "Midnight Meet-up"
    Attached Files

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    oops, I accidentally said muzzle instead of barrel.

    The attached file here is correct.
    Attached Files

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    Default Re: Goya no machiawase - Noragami OP

    Thanks! I just took a cursory glance at it, so I didn't quite realize the extent of the errors. I'll replace the translation in just a bit.

    It is definitely possible to change the title translation when submitting a corrected translation, and to put the title in kanji on the kanji page. As for formatting, following the stanzas with one blank line in between is indeed the preferred way to do it. It's okay if the stanzas in the translation don't have the same number of lines, but the number of stanzas does need to match up. Most of the time when a translation is submitted with a non-matching number of stanzas, I add/delete stanza breaks in the translation to make it match the translit, unless the transliterator has done something really unfortunate like submitting the lyrics as a giant block o' text without any stanza breaks whatsoever, but if you let me know what you're doing and that you're doing it for a reason, I can edit the translit instead. I hope that answers your questions, but if not, let me know!

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