A couple lines of the translation bug me -

この指止まれ 私の指に
その指ごと 連れてってあげる
Take these fingers, my fingers
I'll take all your fingers away
"この指止まれ" as I understand it is a phrase children use in games to mean "follow me!" or "Come here [and play with me]!" I think it's an important distinction in the context of this series and this song... I would probably translate these lines as more like:

Follow my finger
And I'll take you by the fingers

...but I wonder if that really conveys that expression? The translator caught the reference to kids games in the second chorus, so this one should match. Plus these lines are just so creepy I'd like to see them done right.