My completely unbiased review of Teen Titans Go, in which I throw a brick at the TV.

[WBL Studios]

This is Chris Matthews. He's a television host for MSNBC, a 24-hour political news channel I'm very fond of.

I don't like Chris Matthews. I find him annoying and excessively aggressive and defensive. But they do something strange with his show. They air his hour-long show, "Hardball with Chris Matthews" at 5PM, but for some reason, immediately replay it at 7PM. Makes no sense. But just remember this guy. Chris Matthews. 5 and 7.

So it's 7:30, but I have to get up at 4:30 AM to go about my traditional Wednesday rounds and help prepare for a luncheon. I notice it's time for the world premiere of Teen Titans Go!, the brand new Teen Titans show. I was a HUGE fan of the original Teen Titans. I have Season One on DVD, and I would buy Season Four if I could find it on the cheap (I'm a Raven mark. Not ECW Raven, Teen Titans Raven.). From the previews that I've read, that this is supposed to be a comedy show about what goes on between missions... essentially changing it from a comedy-laced action series with deeper, darker undertones to a goofy comedy show... I felt skeptical. VERY skeptical. But I watched it with an open mind.

The first half of the show played.

The Titans were fighting to create a magic sandwich.

My family and friends are lucky I stopped keeping bricks next to the sofa, because I would have hurled one through the television.

So... the mysterious and cryptic 'broken bird' Raven... is now a brony. That's the first thing that severely annoyed me. Feelings about bronies one way or the other aside, way to ruin her character right in the first frame of the first episode. And the rest of the team is stupid enough to go on a quest to find ingredients for a magic sandwich. Then they find said ingredients and make said sandwich, and then they're right back where they started.

The show has gone from a serious action series with comedic overtones... to a stupid, stupid, stupid. It's like when they brought Looney Tunes back as The Looney Tunes Show, but made it the cartoon version of Seinfeld. It's a reboot WE DIDN'T NEED.
I'm angry at this point. They did WORSE than I was expecting. Seriously, I'm trying to follow this board's rules and keep the profanity out of this. It might not be possible.

But I've exhausted the shows on my DVR. It's either watch the second half of this horrible abomination, or go turn on Hardball with Chris Matthews. And the thing is, the day was so slow, I watched the 5PM broadcast of Hardball. I knew what was going on. In fact, I could even remember what they'd be talking about right now, a politician by the name of Mark Sanford. (Will not go more into detail, as I'm not trying to derail this thread with political things. This is simply a mile marker.) So I go ahead and force myself to start watching the second 'half' of the show.

Beast Boy and Cyborg start singing a song about pie.

So, all in all, here's my synopsis.
-The guys find a magic sandwich.
-The guys sing a song about pies.
-Mark Sanford is down nine points in a recent poll.

It was bad.

Very.

Very.

Bad.

On a scale of 1 through 10, with one being the lowest, and 10 being the highest, I rate Teen Titans Go! a WHYYYYY???!!