Idea of this thread is you post something bad you did, and forgive the previous poster for their confessed sin. I'll start;

SO, i was in my mates newspaper shop just chattin and a young mum cam in with her 4 year old boy. she stood by the counter paying for his sweets when mother nature cursed me, and as much as i tried to hold it in a squeaky fart leapt out of my behind. Luck was with me though, as the mother turned to her son and said "Excuse you michael!!" and slapped his bum.

I kept my mouth shut. forgive me, for i have sinned