how to have better relation with younger brother?
Talk. Older brothers
must find common
ground with their
younger brother, it can
be girls/boys, sports,
art, music. Especially, if
you have not spoken
in a long time, this
serves as a good ice-
breaker. Also, do not
be afraid to share the
meaning of
brotherhood, or what
your brother means to
you.
Spend time together.
While talking is good,
spending time with
your brother is also a
good thing to do as
well. Keep in mind, that
you should set a
specific day and time
for hanging out,
especially if you both
live hectic lives. Try to
alternate ideas on
what and where to go,
so that everyone can
be happy.
Create emotional
bonds . Learn ways to
show an emotional
bond to your brother.
Although this may be
strange to hear,
emotional bond, think
about it clearly. Some
younger children, as
well as older children,
often feel as though
they are alone, and
that no one loves
them. This gives way
to the younger sibling,
and/or the older
sibling, finding outlets
to persons and groups
that they should not, in
an attempt to find the
all important "love"
and "acceptance," that
they already have, yet
do not feel.
Acceptance. Many
Families, and many
cultures do not accept
certain things from
their children, and/or
loved ones. This could
be as simple as
piercing, tattoos,
sexual preference/
orientation, etc.
Someone wise once
said, "It is not what we
are that is important,
but who we are that
is." Children who often
find difficulty in being
accepted will go out of
their way to
experience acceptance
for others, and not
their family. As a big
brother, it is your job
to show acceptance of
your brother, no
matter what.
Keep your word. A
man's spoken word, is
who they are.
Remember that in
many ways you are a
role model for your
growing brother. If
you say you will do
something, or give
something, keep your
word and your
promise. It may not
seem like a lot now,
but down the road it
helps build a strong,
healthy relationship
with your brother.
Offer advice when
needed . At times, your
brother may come to
you asking for advice
about a particular
problem, the key is to
be open to different
possibilities that you
did not see before. You
have to listen, and
think about "what is"
versus "what you
think." Speak clearly,
and do not give advice
that is what your
brother wants to hear,
but give more of a
heartfelt tough lesson
if necessary.
Be friends, not just
brothers . Many people
think that just because
you have a younger
brother, or an older
brother, you have a
built-in eternal friend.
This is not true, a large
number of brothers do
not even like each
other. This is not to say
that they do not care
about on another, but
merely that along the
road of life, they
walked a bumpy path
with one another, and
complicated things
have happened. Having
a brother, a real
brother, should always
be a blessing. Learn to
keep the paths of
communications open,
and clean. Learn to be
the guiding light that
shines upon confusing
times. Be there for
your brother, and
remain sure they know
you as a friend also.
Smooth over rough
spots after a fight .
Every sibling
relationship, is bound
to have a fight or two.
One important thing
about fighting with a
sibling, is learning to
take blame, where
blame is due. Another
is to learn to apologize,
and move on after
these events. Do not
hold onto something,
when you know deep
inside you should have
let it go. Do not keep
getting aggravated at
something that already
happened. When it's
done, it's done. What's
best is to apologize
and not let history
repeat itself. Believe it
or not, at times, one of
the most important
people in a younger
brother's life is the
older brother they look
up to. At times,
refusing to ask for or
give forgiveness does
damage
subconsciously, and
may lead to a false
belief that, "My brother
does not love me. Why
would he keep
fighting and arguing
with me if he did?"
Give. Giving gifts to
your sibling may seem
like an okay thing, but
that all depends upon
the type of gift, as well
as the meaning behind
the gift. Gifts should be
meaningful, as well as
a way for one brother
to express themselves.
It has been proven
that males, are far less
likely to express
themselves emotionally
for fear of being
labeled. However, to
have a healthy brother-
brother relationship,
expressing emotions,
feelings, thoughts,
ideas, and so on, is
part of the process.
Although different
than the dating and
marital process, these
are still an important
part of the
relationship. So giving
a gift, such as a
Christmas gift, or a
birthday gift, is a
simple way of showing
that you, the Big
Brother, took the time
and patience to
choose something
your brother may want
or need. It also shows
a level of caring.
Understand.
Sometimes events
occur that play a part
in changing your
relationship with your
brother, either taking
away from it, or
helping it grow. For
example, breaking
promises takes away
from the brother
relationship, and the
brother bond.
Sometimes, difficult
things occur. The key
is understanding. Yes,
at times it hurts, but
the point is you have
to show a level of
understanding. "I love
you" versus "love you."
Again, love is an
emotion, and while
many men clearly love
their older, and
younger brothers, they
do not always show or
say it. It is unhealthy to
let negative and/or
positive feelings reside
within one's heart,
without finding an
acceptable way to
express those said
negative/positive
feelings. Sometimes a
simple "I Love you" can
be the key to making
one's day seem
brighter. Pay attention
- there is a difference
between "I Love You,"
and "Love You." "I Love
You" shows deeper
and more personal
appreciation for the
emotion. "I Love You"
shows through word
and action that it is
one individual's love
for another. While
"Love You" is merely an
agreement that love
for a person exists, it
does not show that
that the love is
personal towards
another.
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