[Cool] Manga plot [Make & judge]

[SolarLawn]

1st post xD!

It's quite simple write a Manga plot
Then judge the above plot 1-10 and with 2 sentences+ , One with Good points and bad points. Rating but not submitting is allowed.

Here's my first ( Sorry for the bad punctuation and grammar)
name: Yume o Egaku (Dream of Drawing/ Drawing dream)
Genre: Supernatural, school life.
Main character: Yen Nejuma
Plot: Yen Is an very shyJapanese boy in 10th grade who likes Manga and drawing, one day on his way from school he looses his house keys while he's
parents are out of town, He decides to climb into an empty house neighbor to him. (!--- He's very shy that's why he doesn't go to his friends or neighbor's
house---! ) He finds a sheet of paper and decides to pass time he decides to draw a his next day. He draws a normal day but where he get's an A+ on his
next test, already making the manga better than his normal life he decides that he wants to find 100.000 yen in the schoolyard.

Next day in school he get's an A+, Not thinking about the manga he walks to the schoolyard in joy, when suddenly he bumbs into the schools bully,
The bully starts to yell and he runs and hides in a bush. Getting out of the bush he finds 100.000 yen.

When going home to sleep with a friend he repeats it in his head, and notices the big similarity to the manga, He starts to think if the manga has
Magical powers and decides to try and make the Pretties girl in school give him a kiss next day ( Drawing it of course).

__

The paper is a modern technology called BeStici who attaches itself to the brain and adds a physical object closely related to the persons interest.
This will add a power to the person, some other people dares each other to go into the house and get new powers too, They gather in a group and
have a HQ in the house where they're powers seem to evolve.