is it normal to hate your gf/bf's family

[brolyx74]

Just wondering, because I realllllllly can't stand any of the people in her family. I love and care about her, but her family makes me never want to set foot inside her house.

[animeyay]

Sounds about right to me lol.
I've heard horror stories of people having trouble dealing with their in-laws.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

It's not abnormal at all, I don't personally hate my girlfriend's family but there's cases where a man hates his mother-in-law or the woman hating her father-in-law and so on. So it's not abnormal at all.

[Velvet_Nightmare]

Of all of my gfs/love interests, I have yet to find one who's dad I like. They're all jerks.

As far as them liking me, my current gf's dad seems to be ok with me, even though he's racist against Mexicans. :|

[Wio]

I don't think it's normal, but I don't think it's rare either.

[Capitán]

Its not common.. but I would say it's normal. You are in that uncommon situation.
I suggest you do something about it.. unless there is nothing you can do.

[brolyx74]

Its not common.. but I would say it's normal. You are in that uncommon situation.
I suggest you do something about it.. unless there is nothing you can do.

Well, I'm sorta against murder, so there really isn't much I can do.


(Oh, and side note, in my personal case, it's not that her family is mean to me or anything, it's just that they are not the type of people I would be friends with. Her mom really likes me, but I can't stand her because of how she acts in general.)

[Capitán]

Well, I'm sorta against murder, so there really isn't much I can do.


(Oh, and side note, in my personal case, it's not that her family is mean to me or anything, it's just that they are not the type of people I would be friends with. Her mom really likes me, but I can't stand her because of how she acts in general.)

EH?
How does she act?

EDIT: NEVERMIND.. I read one of your posts. The mom is either overprotective or just a really curious cat.

[brolyx74]

@blueangel06661 I just thought you should know that what she found was a love letter that I gave my gf on our 6 month anniversary. It was supposed to be something special between me and my gf, not something special between me her and her mom, which is exactly what my gf pointed out when yelling at hermom about what she did. Her mom still welcomes me in there house, but after a betrayal like that, I no longer feel comfortable in there.
I have never been anything less than kind to her mom. I listen when she speaks to me and help her whenever she asks. It was not until she broke my trust that I started to dislike her. And I will stop referring to it as hatred because it really is just a dislike.
Also, my gf's parents were divorced when she was young, and she was raised more by her father than her mother. Her father was, from what I know, a kind wonderful man who I would have loved to meet.
I'm not sure why you think I'm such a bad kid around her parents. Whenever I have nothing nice to say, I say nothing at all. I try to always put a smile on my face and I avoid them if I can so I won't feel uncomfortable.
Finally, the reason her mom likes me so much is because I have been the best friend her daughter has ever had. I have stayed by her through her losing her pets, I have taken care of her when she was ill with bronchitis, I have helped her study for all of her classes, I have been there when she needed to talk, I have never shown any sign of wavering in my feelings for her. Her mother was estatic when she found out we were dating. It is unfortunate that her mother betrayed my trust, because no matter what she does to try to make it up to her, my forgiveness cannot be bought and I doubt I will ever feel comfortable in that house again, and it'll be at least a year until I can ever give my gf love letters or poetry again.

[Meenah]

No, I love his family because they are the family I wish mine were kind of like. But we can't get what we want. I don't have much problem with my fiancé's family, I worry him having further problems with mine because I know how they can be sometimes. I don't worry much, I won't live with them. He'll feel the same way with mine but as much as possible I'll show respect as if they're my parents and be good.

[blueangel06661]

... I like mines family???.... I would be pretty upset if my bf said he didn't like a parent I liked. [my mom] It's pretty rude and stupid to go around saying you hate your girlfriends family. You probably shouldn't date her or love her enough to respect her families background. When you like your GF you are tied to the parents too. If you don't like the idea her parents as your parent in-laws one day.. Don't continue dating her.

(Oh, and side note, in my personal case, it's not that her family is mean to me or anything, it's just that they are not the type of people I would be friends with. Her mom really likes me, but I can't stand her because of how she acts in general.)

That sounds really stupid and childish..... You're probably to young to be dating if you have that mindset. Puppy love is what I call it. When you think you are in love but you don't know the first thing about it really.

[brolyx74]

... I like mines family???.... I would be pretty upset if my bf said he didn't like a parent I liked. [my mom] It's pretty rude and stupid to go around saying you hate your girlfriends family. You probably shouldn't date her or love her enough to respect her families background. When you like your GF you are tied to the parents too. If you don't like the idea her parents as your parent in-laws one day.. Don't continue dating her.



That sounds really stupid and childish..... You're probably to young to be dating if you have that mindset. Puppy love is what I call it. When you think you are in love but you don't know the first thing about it really.

Yes, I am so childish for not liking her family, especially because all of her family members aren't related to her except for one Hurray for death and divorce. Clearly I have the problem for not liking the people my gf even admittedly doesn't like. Also, just because they could someday become inlaws doesn't mean I would have to deal with them. I am barely going to have any ontact with my family once I start a life of my own, and my gf says she plans on doing the same. But I must not care for her at all because I don't absolutely love everyone living with her. Oh, and yes, I must be too young to be dating someone if I don't like their parents, because obviously my feelings towards the person themself cannot really be strong if I dislike her family. That makes perfect sense.

[Wio]

Yes, I am so childish for not liking her family, especially because all of her family members aren't related to her except for one Hurray for death and divorce. Clearly I have the problem for not liking the people my gf even admittedly doesn't like. Also, just because they could someday become inlaws doesn't mean I would have to deal with them. I am barely going to have any ontact with my family once I start a life of my own, and my gf says she plans on doing the same. But I must not care for her at all because I don't absolutely love everyone living with her. Oh, and yes, I must be too young to be dating someone if I don't like their parents, because obviously my feelings towards the person themself cannot really be strong if I dislike her family. That makes perfect sense.

Wow, I've heard this quite a few times. In a few years dude, you'll like the in-laws more than the gf.

[nrL]

Yes, it is normal.
-Said the person who had never been in a relationship.

[battousai_ryuu]

You've got no problems until her father pulls a gun out, or has a friend at the police station run a criminal backround check on you ^-^ (been there)

[nrL]

You've got no problems until her father pulls a gun out, or has a friend at the police station run a criminal backround check on you ^-^ (been there)

You mean.....the father of your gf pulled a gun at you?

[battousai_ryuu]

You mean.....the father of your gf pulled a gun at you?

*nods* yes. Long story short she got a bruise at work and thought it would be funny to tell her father that I gave it to her in a fight and yeah. I got the hell out of there.

[Elukien]

Yes, its normal. Not everyone is going to click with one another.

[Princess Minako]

Woah there let's not be judgemental. I'm sure I can give you a great tongue lashing about how you are vastly immature in certain areas blueangel. Judge not lest Ye be judged.

As for in laws, they always will be apart of your life if you are married. I suggest learning to be civil. But remember that it will strain relationships if they knew you said mean things. How would you feel if someone you cared for was dating a boy who wouldn't like you because you are an anime nerd?

My in laws are not the coolest people on earth, but as you grow up you learn that social coolness is stupid and should be left in high school. What matters is how they treat you, your significant other, and people; not if they are hip on miumiu.

Have an open mind, it helps you realize the most uncool person is really the most interesting.

[nrL]

Have an open mind, it helps you realize the most uncool person is really the most interesting.

Watching My Little Pony helps with approaching things that way

[brolyx74]

@Princess Minako It's not that they are lame, it's that her step dad is the type of guy who gets mad at little things and has yelling as a first resort (He hasn't treated me bad personally because I choose to keep my distance from him, but I've seen and heard how badly he has treated some of my gf's friends) and it's that her mom complains about everything and never listens to anything you tell her. Oh, and she likes going through my things and my gf's things. She really doesn't have any clue what privacy is. Then when I get mad at her for looking at private papers that weren't meant to be seen by her (nothing bad, just private things) she calls my mom on me and tries to get as many people involved as she can in a private matter. I just wanted to let you no that when I say I don't like them because of the type of people they are, I don't mean that in a shallow manner. I mean that they may not be specifically mean to me, but as people they are not the type I would to associate myself with. I wish it were just that they were uncool, because that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in their house.

[Princess Minako]

If watching my little pony helps you to graduate thinking like a 16 year old go for it. Frankly if I didn't associate with people because they were uncool I would have missed out on some awesome people in my life.

Think of it from a parent point of view, how old are you? They have a right to know what their child is involved with. As a parent it is their responsibility to ensure their child is not shooting crack into their eyeballs. I'm not saying involving more people then necessary is excusable. But there is some room for forgiveness. Teens and parents will always struggle with privacy.

Old mark twain quote " when I was a boy of 14 I thought my father so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around, when I became a man of 21 I was surprised at how much the old man had learned in 7 years"

[brolyx74]

If watching my little pony helps you to graduate thinking like a 16 year old go for it. Frankly if I didn't associate with people because they were uncool I would have missed out on some awesome people in my life.

Think of it from a parent point of view, how old are you? They have a right to know what their child is involved with. As a parent it is their responsibility to ensure their child is not shooting crack into their eyeballs. I'm not saying involving more people then necessary is excusable. But there is some room for forgiveness. Teens and parents will always struggle with privacy.

Old mark twain quote " when I was a boy of 14 I thought my father so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around, when I became a man of 21 I was surprised at how much the old man had learned in 7 years"

Again, it's not that I don't associate myself with uncool people. It's that I don't associate myself with people who don't respect my privacy and yell at my gf and her friends for below understandable reasons. I don't think that's immature at all. Would you want to associate yourself with people like that if you had the option to avoid them? And there was no basis for her looking through our things, she was just curious as to what I wrote. Normally that is fine, but isn't in common curtesy to ask someone for permission before you look at their things? (And before anyone says "isn't it common curtesy not to bad mouth people online" I have never revealed any names. I have kept them private.)

[CryBabyWearingDiaper]

You dont have to like them, It's not there relationship, Its you and your lady's

[blueangel06661]

I hope your future kids bf/gf... Says they hate you all over the internet...

It is VERY immature to go around saying that you hate their parents.. No matter what the circumstances.. You hate the people that raised your gf.. Might as well hate her too.. Just saying.. I'm always thankful for my bf's parents and even my friends parents.. I may not always like what they do.. But I don't go around saying I hate them.. I just stay out of their way and not try to start anything with them and it's all cool.

And there was no basis for her looking through our things, she was just curious as to what I wrote. Normally that is fine, but isn't in common curtesy to ask someone for permission before you look at their things? (And before anyone says "isn't it common curtesy not to bad mouth people online" I have never revealed any names. I have kept them private.)

No.. It's still rude... No matter if their names are private or what. I think her mother should read this. If I was her mother you'd be kicked out of my house and never welcomed back. And heck yeah I'd be going through your things trying to figure out what you wrote.. You probably give off the "i hate you and this family attitude in person".. I'm sorry but I really wouldn't want my daughter hanging around you.. No matter how screwed up our family is.. Bad mouthing the family online is low.