So, I'm translating this song. Help and C&C(Command & Conquer)needed, appreciated and rewarded with real imaginary cookies. =]
見上げた空が闇へと誘われ
今宵また 月の光 閉ざされた
The sky to which I raised my eyes was trapped in the darkness
Tonight again, the moonlight has been sealed away
誰かが願う 祈りの言葉さえも
届かない 静寂の中で悶えた
In this silence in which even the words of a prayer
from a pleading person wouldn't make it, I was in pain
夢はいつか夢のままで
儚い思いに呑まれる
今宵が満月なら「想イヨ届ケ…」と祈るだけ
My dream is that someday, like in the dream,
I'd be overwhelmed with momentary feelings.
If tonight is a full moon, that my feelings would reach you is all I want to pray
1) grammar?
2) Is "engulfed in" better than "overwhelmed with"?
愛しき姿想い 明日の暦を占った
「もう一度 もう一度と…」
鏡の前で祈る
夢か幻であれ
The thoughts of your dear phantom forecasted the course of my future
"Only if I could see you again..."
I pray in front of the mirror
Be it in a dream or an illusion
Better way to phrase 愛しき姿 and 明日(あす)の暦を占った? :/
未だ見ぬ 明日の足音探しては
閉ざされた光までも届かない
In my search for the traces of the yet-to-be-seen tomorrow,
my prayers wouldn't make it even to the sealed light
舞い散る花火 儚き恋の終わり
映り逝く季節へと重ねていた
The gracefully descending fireworks were amassing down
towards the season that will "change" (*replace the current one) ending my momentary passions
Okay, I know...
There's something wrong here. Three problems: First, 重ねる is transitive and it's hard to infer the subject and object, but I know it has a very abstract meaning here. (The 花火 are not "amassing", but as they fell down and accumulated, they were repeatedly "stacking" something -- the "pieces" of the moment, maybe? ... the pixels on the progress bar? =P The emotional progress of the moment?)
映り逝く in this exotic compound seems like a wordplay on 移り行く ("to change (intransitive); to shift; to come and go"), which fits the 季節, and 映る ("to be reflected; to be projected; to harmonize [with]"), which fits the imagery the 花火 draw, implying the 季節 being an image being momentarily projected by the 花火 as they fell, and then going away. Eh... which is all fine and all, except that it contradicts the part below.
I have a problem with へと being suffixed directly to 季節, as it places the 季節 at the far end of the spectrum (as opposed to being "in the moment"), which is not what I understand from the stanza. There would be no that problem if 移り行く were used, but 映る blows it.
Can someone explain this please? Verbosely, if needed. ^^;
時を止めて 闇を裂いて
無数の光を放った
絡んだ指先まで儚い想いが交差する
Stopping time and tearing up the darkness,
they were uttering countless flashes of light
My fleeting emotions blend together all through (my body) until my tangled fingertips
Not sure if that doesn't Engrish.
いつしか この想いが貴方に届きます様に
体を委ねられて短き歌を詠んだ
夢か幻であれ
And before I knew it, hoping for my feelings to reach you,
I was composing a short song with all of my heart and senses
Be it in a dream or an illusion
...?
空を描く雲を眺め
駆け巡る風を感じて
今宵も貴方浮かべ
「想イヨ届ケ…」と
Watching the clouds that paint the sky,
and feeling the racing winds,
this night too, as you surface my mind,
I pray for my feelings to make it to you
夢はいつか夢のままで
儚い思いに呑まれる
今宵が満月なら「想イヨ届ケ…」と祈るだけ
Repeated stanza.
愛しき姿想い 明日の暦を占った
「もう一度 もう一度と…」
鏡の前で祈る
夢か幻であれ
「儚イ想イヨ散レ…」
Repeated stanza... except:
"My fleeting feelings, fall."
... which doesn't sound very right. >.>
Jeez, what's wrong with the forum today? It destroyed my formatting twice... *sigh*
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