Remember You

Remember You

"I'll always remember you . . ."

This is something words can't describe.
It's something I didn't know I felt,
but still my heart fills with joy.
This feeling inside me . . .
is love.

I can't ever forget you,
you are always in my heart.
Even when you go away,
I can still feel . . .
the warmth of your hand on mine.

These tears that fall,
they're just for you.
Do you see them,
where you are now . . .
in heaven?

************************************************** ******

well, this was just a random poem that popped into my head.
I changed it a bit, but at the moment I don't have the paper I put that on, so I'll be sure to put it in once I do. Please look at it then, again.
Until then, comments are much appreciated.

^^ thanks for reading it!

-Tsuki :D

I loved it ^-^

You had some great flow to your poem and the poem really got me in the mood to write more poetry.

why thank you ^_^
I don't think it's as good as some of my others, but it's okay.

uh, okay. Here's the revised version. I'm not sure if it's any better than the first, but please tell me what you think. (bows) thanks ya.

Remembering You

This is something words can't describe,
it's something I felt,
but still my heart fills with joy,
This feeling inside me . . .
is love.

"I'll never forget you . . . I love you."

I can't ever forget you,
and those words that you spoke.
You are always in my heart.
Even when you can't hold my hand anymore,
I can still feel . . .
The warmth of your hand on mine.

These tears that fall,
They're just for you,
Do you see them,
where you are now . . .
in heaven?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
okay, not that different,
but I still want to know what you think.
Even if you hate it.

I'm not a great judge of poetry or anything, but I really like this poem. It stirred up some good emotions in me. Keep up the good work.

=) it's still great to hear, I'm glad you liked it.

I actually thought that both forms were pretty good. I didn't see anything wrong with the first one, but it's good that you tried to make it at least better. I prefer the first one though.

the more I read it, the more I perfer the first one too. ^_^

it was just something that popped into my head, so I didn't go into much detail with changing it.

It was small and cute one , and had a vibe of sadness. Nice piece.

Thanks, I'm still not that great, and I'm not sure I'll ever be, but I'll keep trying! ^_^