Blue-Eyed Princess

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07-20-2006, 02:29 PM
Music Fiend

Blue-Eyed Princess

It has been a while,
Since you pierced my skin,
It has been a while,
Since I last saw my friend.
I missed you, darling,
You already know,
I missed you, cutie,
So, please don’t go.
The best thing I had,
Then you went away,
You’re stuck in my head,
I hope you’re here to stay.
Your laugh makes me red,
Your tear makes me blue,
Color me pink,
My heart still beats for you.
I dreamt of your sweet sigh,
I waited oh so long,
I dreamt of your blue eyes,
Is that so wrong?
Cute and energetic,
I know that you rule,
Most people think I’m pathetic,
But you think I’m cool.
Still “Your Sanctuary”,
Still your pride,
December to January,
I promise to stay by your side.
You have your own life,
I wish I were there,
California dream girl,
Let down your hair.
Blue-eyed princess,
I wish you were hear,
Once, I was stressed,
But now, I have no fear.
My Blue-eyed Princess,
Descend from above,
With confidence, I confess,
So share in my love.
Lips of an angel,
Hold me tonight,
Lips of a goddess,
Share in my plight.
Your darkest secrets,
You can share with me,
And your darkest fantasies,
Will come to be.
So, Blue-eyed Princess,
Descend from above,
I need something to caress,
So share in my love.

----------------------------------------

This poem is for my best friend. I wanted to wait for her to come back online, so I can ask her if she even has blue-eyes, but I got impatient and just said what the hey. So, here it is. My best poem ever? Probably, but that's not sayin' much.

Enjoy or whatever.
07-20-2006, 02:43 PM
Treyu

I really liked it!

It was a tad confusing at times, but I thought it was very cute!

Quote:

Your tear makes me blue

I THINK it should be "Your tears make me blue"... just because one hardly has ONE tear XD It really works either way though so no worries!

Well done! I havnt read any of your other stuff I dont think, but this was very well written! I cant wait to see what the person you wrote it for thinks!

<33
07-20-2006, 03:00 PM
Music Fiend

Thank you very much, Treyu! As for the "Your tear makes me blue" line, I was actually thinking of using the same line as you gave me ("Your tears make me blue"). However, when you look at the line "Your laugh makes me red", "laugh" is singular. I wanted to make "tear" singular, as well, so the lines would match up. Otherwise, I would have put:

Your laughs make me red
Your tears make me blue

It doesn't really make sense, you see. But anyway, thank you for the comment, and I'll be sure to show it to her...whenever she returns. Let's just hope that she actually has blue eyes, though, or the poem won't really connect. XD
07-20-2006, 03:45 PM
suky

*claps childishly* It was, it was, it was.....I forgot the word ><. It was one of your best poems chris. I really loved it, it had rhytem and a nice flow with the words. *pats* Great job, and keep it up.
07-20-2006, 03:58 PM
Music Fiend

Haha, thank you, suky! I wish that I knew how to utilize my vocabulary better, when it comes to poetry, but I was particularly excited about this poem, because I knew that it was better than most of the garbage that I had done before.
07-20-2006, 04:09 PM
Naomidancing

Very good poem:) yah!

This Poem is good. Though, it makes me think do you want this perason to be more more than a friend? Don't get mad though, it's just a sweat poem but how it was lead on at times that's all.
07-21-2006, 10:11 AM
Jake♥Tachy

suky, sweety you scare me at times. So you're Chris? you sure are a great writer, and like my tachy said nice flow with the words, besides how can you even write poems, I'm such a stud at it. Great job, I liked the poem and keep writing kid, you got talent.
07-21-2006, 10:24 AM
halcyon23

good job tehAnimeFreak101 i hope you do another poem
07-22-2006, 03:35 PM
Music Fiend

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomidancing

This Poem is good. Though, it makes me think do you want this perason to be more more than a friend? Don't get mad though, it's just a sweat poem but how it was lead on at times that's all.

Hmm...you do pose any interesting question, though. We are best friends, for sure, but...well, it's a little tough to explain. We aren't together or anything like that, but I do have some feelings for her. It's strictly friendship, though, at this point.

Jake♥Tachy: Ah, and so you are Jake? I appreciate the compliments. It takes me a long time to do a good poem, so it certainly isn't an effortless process, but I do enjoy it.