Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-Il Teatrino Opening]
I translated this song a long time ago, way before joining this forum. In fact, this is actually the very first song I attempted to translate once I learned the Jouyou Kanji. So, while adding some songs to my songbox I was surprised to see there wasn't a translation for it here!
Given that, and how much I love this song, I decided to retranslated it from scratch and submit it (especially after seeing another poster mention this anime.)
Quote:
歌: たった一つの想い [Gunslinger Girl-Il Teatrino 主題歌]
歌手：KOKIA
作詞: KOKIA
作曲: KOKIA
編曲: KOKIA
Song: Only One Thought [Gunslinger Girl-Il Teatrino Main theme song]
Singer: KOKIA
Lyricist: KOKIA
Composition: KOKIA
Arrangement: KOKIA
http://www.kasi-time.com/item-27619.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BOqHNpqgaY
たった1つの想い貫く 難しさの中で僕は
守り抜いてみせたいのさ かけがえのないものの為に 果たしたい 約束
tatta hitotsu no omoi tsuranuku muzukashisa no naka de boku wa
mamorinuite misetai no sa kakegae no naimono no tame ni hatashitai yakusoku
I want to show that I will protect (until the end) the only one thought
that penetrates the gloominess within. For the sake of that irreplaceable thing, it is a promise I want to keep.
In the diffculty of carrying out only one thought, I want to show
that I'll protect this feeling to the end. It is a promise I want to keep for that irreplaceable thing.
Using the part in parenthesis to give out the full meaning of 守り抜く. It could be removed if anyone feels it is unnecessary.
I am basing the translation of gloominess for 難しさ on Jisho.org dictionary definition. I would normally translate it as hardness, but gloomy seems to fit better.
Quote:
疑問だらけの世の中 答えは見つからないまま
それでも前に進むの Why？
空へと伸びるイトスギ 真っすぐ指し示した道
今という奇跡を信じよう
gimon' darake no yo no naka kotae wa mitsukaranai mama
sore demo mae ni susumu no Why?
Sora e to nobiru itosugi massugu sashishimeshita michi
ima to iu kiseki o shin'jiyou
Within this doubt ridden world an answer still can't be found.
Even if it is this, I advance forward WHY?
Even still, I advance forward---Why?
It is a road that the Cypress stretching to the sky pointed directly toward
Let's believe in the miracle they call "now,"
I added quote marks to make it more clear that the name of the miracle is "now."
Quote:
夢みたいな現実 この手で変えられるものなら
yume mitai na gen'jitsu kono te de kaerareru mono nara
If this dream like reality is a thing that my hand is allowed to change
If this dream-like reality is something that I am able to change by my own hand
たった1つの想い貫く 難しさの中で僕は
守り抜いてみせたいのさ かけがえのないものの為に
波打っている鼓動に誓うよ 燃え尽きるまで走り続けよう
生き抜いてこそ 感じられる 永遠の愛しさの中 果たしたい 約束
tatta hitotsu no omoi tsuranuku muzukashisa no naka de boku wa
mamorinuite misetai no sa kakegae no nai mono no tame ni
namiutteiru kodou ni chikau yo Moetsukiru made hashiri tsudzukeyou
ikimeiteikinuite koso kan'jirareru eien' no Itoshisa no naka hatashitai yakusoku
I want to show that I will protect (until the end) the only one thought
that penetrates the gloominess within. For the sake of that irreplaceable thing.
Oh, I swear it by my pounding pulse! Let's continue running until we are exhausted
Now that we have survived, inside this eternal love that we are allowed to feel, it is a promise I want to keep.
In the diffculty of carrying out only one thought, I want to show
that I'll protect this feeling to the end. For the sake of that irreplaceable thing.
I swear it by my pounding pulse. Let's continue running until we burn out
Now that we have survived, inside this eternal love that we are able to feel, it is a promise I want to keep.
丘の下咲くヒマワリ 眩く広がる黄色は
希望の光を照らすよ
oka no shita saku himawari mabushiku hirogaru kiiro wa
kibou no hikari o terasu yo
The yellow of the blooming sunflowers, spreading radiantly under the hill,
shines the light of hope!.
変えられるものなら
違った生き方あるはずと
Kaerareru mono nara
chigatta ikikata aru hazu to
If it is a thing that is allowed to change
then we should expect a changed way of life
If it is a thing that I am able to change
then there must be a different way to live
I think this と is the quotation particle and is being used to soften the expression. If it was meant as a command I would have expected it to be はずしないと, and translating it as "with" doesn't seem to make much sense to me.
Quote:
全て懸けよう 与えられた 時間の中で輝いていたい
ただ息をしてここに居るだけ それだけなのに溢れ出す気持ち
僕には僕の幸せがある そう思えるだけでどれほど
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ
subete kakeyou ataerareta *toki* no naka de kagayaiteitai
tada iki o shite koko ni iru dake sore dake na noni afuredasu ki mochi
boku ni wa boku no shiawase ga aru sou omoeru dake de dore hodo
kono shun'kan ga itooshi hodo hikari o hanatte yuku yo.
Let's suspend everything! I want to be glowing within the time that I was given
Let's risk everything! I want to be glowing within the time that I was given
I am merely breathing and only existing here. Despite only that, there are overflowing feelings.
I have my happiness, however much I am only able to feel so.
This moment, to the extent of my love, goes to release the light!
I have my happiness, but how long can I think that?
This moment goes on releasing the light of my love
To show how much I treasure this moment, I'll go on releasing my light
*kanji for jikan' but they say toki. *
This last line feels awkward. The moment is the subject and light the direct object so I think it is the 愛おしいほど that is making it strange. Maybe I should reword it "To the extent of my love, this moment goes to release the light?"
Quote:
独りで進むには 長すぎる道のり
誰かがこの扉 開けないか待ってる
hitori de susumu niwa nagasugiru michi nori
dareka ga kono tobari akenai ka matteru
It is too long of a distance to advance alone.
I am waiting for someone to open this gate.
Won't someone one this gate? I am waiting.
I think the exact translation would be "I am waiting for Won't someone open this gate?" I feel this is a case where an exact translation just won't work.
Quote:
たった1つの想い貫く 難しさの中で僕は
守り抜いてみせたいのさ かけがえのないものの為に
波打っている鼓動に誓うよ 燃え尽きるまで走り続けよう
生きぬいてこそ 感じられる 永遠の愛しさの中
果たしたい 約束
tatta hitotsu no omoi tsuranuku muzukashisa no naka de boku wa
mamorinuite misetai no sa kakegae no naimono no tame ni
namiutteiru kodou ni chikau yo Moetsukiru made hashiri tsudzukeyou
ikinuiteikinuite koso kan'jirareru eien' no Itoshisa no naka
hatashitai yakusoku
I want to show that I will protect (until the end) the only one thought
that penetrates the gloominess within. For the sake of that irreplaceable thing.
Oh, I swear it by my pounding pulse! Let's continue running until we are exhausted
In the diffculty of carrying out only one thought, I want to show
that I'll protect this feeling to the end. For the sake of that irreplaceable thing
I swear it by my pounding pulse. Let's continue running until we burn out
Now that we have survived, inside this eternal love, that we are able to feel, it is a promise I want to keep.
Okay that is my translation. Any criticism, suggestions, comments, or corrections?
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
demn, funny how it goes - my very first TL attempt was also from Il Teatrino. currently busy with thanksgiving travel, but I'm definitely down to take a look at this in a day or two.
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
I just skimmed this briefly--I may come back for a more in-depth examination if I have time--but here are some things that I noticed.
それでも just means "but still"/"even so," you don't have to literally translate それ+でも.
Quote:
The yellow of the blooming sunflowers spreading radiantly under the hill,
shine the light of hope!
Your subject here is "yellow," which is singular, so you want "shines."
At first glance, I would interpret と here as implying と信じている or と思う or something along those lines, and would read the whole line as "There must be a different way to live."
Quote:
全て懸けよう 与えられた 時間の中で輝いていたい
懸ける has a ton of meanings, but here I think it means bet/gamble/stake.
Quote:
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ
"Goes to [verb]" in English isn't equivalent to "-てゆく" --it means something like "starts to," especially in the case that the action is interrupted/not completed. Here I think you want something like "goes on [verb]-ing". (Which is a totally different construction, and "is going to [verb]" is something else again.) I would also translate "愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ" less literally.
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
Hey there, just posting to let you know I'm still alive, sorry - I found myself a bit more occupied this week than I expected. I was planning on writing my comments today, but I haven't finished yet, so I just figured I'd post a little of what I have down real quick for now. Will be back late tomorrow.
-First off, do note that the anime's subtitle is actually "Il Teatrino", 'il' being the Italian article. I can see how the mistake would happen, but the correct spelling is more visible in all caps:
http://puu.sh/CarlZ/670d48b624.png
http://puu.sh/CarmN/976f45b4d6.png
http://puu.sh/CaVgj/018789ec9a.png
-For the first line/chorus, you may want to familiarize yourself with an additional meaning of 貫く as seen in definition 3 of Jisho.org's entry.
-I don't think 'gloomy' is the way to interpret 難しさ (more on that later - this involves both usage of the word and the way we read the line).
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluepenguin
I just skimmed this briefly--I may come back for a more in-depth examination if I have time--but here are some things that I noticed.
それでも just means "but still"/"even so," you don't have to literally translate それ+でも.
Your subject here is "yellow," which is singular, so you want "shines."
At first glance, I would interpret と here as implying と信じている or と思う or something along those lines, and would read the whole line as "There must be a different way to live."
Alright. I made those changes.
And special thanks for the input on how to translate the と. That drove me nuts trying to figure it out. I ruled out a "must" sentence due to the lack of a negative and decided that it was a conditional と that they put out of order for some reason.
Your interpretation makes much more sense.
Quote:
懸ける has a ton of meanings, but here I think it means bet/gamble/stake.
"Goes to [verb]" in English isn't equivalent to "-てゆく" --it means something like "starts to," especially in the case that the action is interrupted/not completed. Here I think you want something like "goes on [verb]-ing". (Which is a totally different construction, and "is going to [verb]" is something else again.) I would also translate "愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ" less literally.
Made those changes too.
Thanks for (again) explaining that last bit to me. A song I am currently working on had that construction and I made sure NOT to make the same mistake :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bambooXZX
Hey there, just posting to let you know I'm still alive, sorry - I found myself a bit more occupied this week than I expected. I was planning on writing my comments today, but I haven't finished yet, so I just figured I'd post a little of what I have down real quick for now. Will be back late tomorrow.
-First off, do note that the anime's subtitle is actually "Il Teatrino", 'il' being the Italian article. I can see how the mistake would happen, but the correct spelling is more visible in all caps:
http://puu.sh/CarlZ/670d48b624.png
http://puu.sh/CarmN/976f45b4d6.png
http://puu.sh/CaVgj/018789ec9a.png
-For the first line/chorus, you may want to familiarize yourself with an additional meaning of 貫く as seen in definition 3 of
Jisho.org's entry.
-I don't think 'gloomy' is the way to interpret 難しさ (more on that later - this involves both usage of the word and the way we read the line).
Take your time! No hurry at all. I am just happy for any input at all!
Ahh putting II was a dumb mistake on my part! Will fix if I can (I seem to have issues changing titles on here).
So, on the chorus you are saying that the actual translation should be something like,
"Within the difficulting of maintaining only one thought, I want to show that I will protect it to the end. For the sake of irreplaceable (thing/person/thought/feeling?) it is a promise want to keep."
That would work for me!
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
Figured out most of what I wanted to comment on, but I'm passing out a bit so I'll just post what I've written today; I'll get to verse 7 and the last few assorted things later.
---
Verse 1:
First, more on 難しさ: I'm fairly sure that the 'gloomy' definition in Jisho refers specifically to uses in phrases like 難しい顔をする further down that page, where it generally describes a characteristic perceived on someone else, and without a word that enables that definition, 難しさ is not an actual feeling of gloom in itself. I see this as one of the perils of relying on simple J-E dictionaries; while dictionaries usually go out of their way to provide multiple synonyms for each definition for this very reason, sometimes it can just fail anyway due to lack of context. I think it's best to avoid treating the dictionary as something you can just pick and choose words from based on feeling, if possible, because that depends on your feeling being correct, which is not something you can really count on (especially at low levels of experience). In the face of unfamiliarity, I recommend cross-referencing with a resource that has example sentences, if you're not doing that already. (I've found ALC pretty useful.)
I suspect another contributing factor to the misunderstanding was the lack of experience with 貫く, which makes "penetrates the gloominess" more convenient-looking that it actually is. Not sure if that was really the case for you, but it's definitely a thing that can happen when there are multiple points of uncertainty.
All in all, this is something that can only really be solved in time, no way around it.
---
Verse 2:
Quote:
それでも前に進むの Why？
Even still, I advance forward Why?
Putting "Why?" at the end of the second line like that seems jarring to me - doesn't really work as an English sentence. Maybe you could just stick a dash in between?
---
Verse 3:
Quote:
夢みたいな現実 この手で変えられるものなら
If this dream like reality is a thing that my hand is allowed to change
'dream like' as two words seems incorrect; I think you'd want 'dreamlike' or 'dream-like'. 'dream like reality' could also conceivably make the phrase imply 現実みたいな夢 when it should be the other way around.
I don't like the use of 'allowed' for 変えられる. I feel it makes the word too narrow, like it depends on another person's approval. The potential form of a verb has the same flexibility as 'can' in English, so why not just go with that?
Kind of a subtlety here, but just in case you haven't seen this before, note the で particle in この手で. This is a pretty common phrase that means something closer to "by my own hands" to emphasize things like freedom, control, responsibility, etc. (Grammatically, that would mean the sentence has an implied subject that is not 手.)
---
Verse 4:
Quote:
波打っている鼓動に誓うよ 燃え尽きるまで走り続けよう
Oh, I swear it by my pounding pulse! Let's continue running until we are exhausted
It seems that you're using 'Oh' / exclamation marks in reaction to the よ sentence ending. Personally, I'd recommend against approaching it this way - よ endings are extremely common in song lyrics, and I feel like this kind of overstates its effect on the tone of the words, while also possibly devaluing actual exclamations that show up from time to time (both explicit marks and particularly strong statements). That being said, if you intentionally wanted to emphasize this part just for meaning, I can understand.
Not sure whether this was an interpretation or a wrong lookup, but I think translating 燃え尽きる as 'exhausted' is not the way to go - something more literal like "until I burn out" would be better. There's a whole lot of loaded imagery that just goes away if you don't acknowledge the '燃え' half. If you intentionally tried to convey the idea of feeling exertion, "burn out" is conveniently capable of implying that in the same way that the Japanese does while not losing other possibilities. (If you got 'exhausted' from the dictionary definition of 尽きる, though, note that 尽きる in itself actually means exhaust in the sense of running out; maybe you knew that already, but the current English reads to me like it means the feeling.)
Quote:
生き抜いてこそ
ikimeite koso
Fourth line has a romaji / reading error.
---
Verse 5:
Quote:
丘の下咲くヒマワリ 眩く広がる黄色は
希望の光を照らすよ
The yellow of the blooming sunflowers spreading radiantly under the hill,
shines the light of hope!
Same opinion as before regarding the exclamation point.
Something seems off about that comma placement. Maybe there should be a matching comma earlier after 'sunflowers'?
---
Verse 6:
Quote:
変えられるものなら
違った生き方あるはずと
If it is a thing that is allowed to change
then there must be a different way to live
Same opinion as before regarding 'allowed'. Also, note that 変えられる in these lines* is most likely the potential of 変える, which is a transitive verb, so もの is not changing on its own - there is an implied subject.
I agree that と is the quotation particle. Interpreting this verse as the speaker's thoughts (like bluepenguin's suggestion of an implied と信じている or と思う) is one possibility. Personally, I think it's the message that the speaker receives from the light of hope in the previous verse. (Also I have difficulty explaining it, but the よ is part of what leads me there, in a way.)
Aside, I've never seen はずしないと anywhere before - I don't believe that's actually a thing, is it?
*(Confusingly, the passive voice of 変える is also 変えられる, but I think that's unlikely in this context, so let's not go into that.)
---
Verse 8:
Quote:
I think the exact translation would be "I am waiting for Won't someone open this gate?" I feel this is a case where an exact translation just won't work.
Eh, personally I wouldn't call that sort of rendering "exact translation" - just adhering excessively to certain characteristics of Japanese grammar. (The TL you have for the line looks fine to me.)
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bambooXZX
Figured out most of what I wanted to comment on, but I'm passing out a bit so I'll just post what I've written today; I'll get to verse 7 and the last few assorted things later.
Thank you very much!
Quote:
Verse 1:
First, more on 難しさ: I'm fairly sure that the 'gloomy' definition in Jisho refers specifically to uses in phrases like 難しい顔をする further down that page, where it generally describes a characteristic perceived on someone else, and without a word that enables that definition, 難しさ is not an actual feeling of gloom in itself. I see this as one of the perils of relying on simple J-E dictionaries; while dictionaries usually go out of their way to provide multiple synonyms for each definition for this very reason, sometimes it can just fail anyway due to lack of context. I think it's best to avoid treating the dictionary as something you can just pick and choose words from based on feeling, if possible, because that depends on your feeling being correct, which is not something you can really count on (especially at low levels of experience). In the face of unfamiliarity, I recommend cross-referencing with a resource that has example sentences, if you're not doing that already. (I've found
ALC pretty useful.)
I suspect another contributing factor to the misunderstanding was the lack of experience with 貫く, which makes "penetrates the gloominess" more convenient-looking that it actually is. Not sure if that was really the case for you, but it's definitely a thing that can happen when there are multiple points of uncertainty.
All in all, this is something that can only really be solved in time, no way around it.
That is pretty much exactly why I translated it that way. I originally read it as "difficulty peircing within only one thought" and thought that sounded strange. So I rechecked the definitions of the words to see if their was another possible nuance. Peircing the gloominess within sounded better. But re-examinining it I think you are right.
Quote:
Putting "Why?" at the end of the second line like that seems jarring to me - doesn't really work as an English sentence. Maybe you could just stick a dash in between?
No problem! I will add one right away!
Quote:
'dream like' as two words seems incorrect; I think you'd want 'dreamlike' or 'dream-like'. 'dream like reality' could also conceivably make the phrase imply 現実みたいな夢 when it should be the other way around.
Perfectly reasonable. I will add that in.
Quote:
I don't like the use of 'allowed' for 変えられる. I feel it makes the word too narrow, like it depends on another person's approval. The potential form of a verb has the same flexibility as 'can' in English, so why not just go with that?
I didn't go with that because, for some reason, I got it and the causitive mixed up (and further down I was reusing my translation from here). Dumb mistake on my part sorry!
I think because I had translated this one before I got really sloppy with the translation this time.
Quote:
Kind of a subtlety here, but just in case you haven't seen this before, note the で particle in この手で. This is a pretty common phrase that means something closer to "by my own hands" to emphasize things like freedom, control, responsibility, etc. (Grammatically, that would mean the sentence has an implied subject that is not 手.)
I see. I was reading で as either the te-form of だ/です for a sequence of events or as a particle that meaning "in context of/by means of." That combined with mistaking the potential 変えられる with the causitive 変えさせる is how I got that funky translation.
Had I not made that mistake I probably would have translated it as
"If this dream like reality is a thing that my hand is able to change"
but that is still making 手 the subject. So, based on your advise a better translation would be
"If this dream-like reality is something that I am able to change by my own hand"
Quote:
It seems that you're using 'Oh' / exclamation marks in reaction to the よ sentence ending. Personally, I'd recommend against approaching it this way - よ endings are extremely common in song lyrics, and I feel like this kind of overstates its effect on the tone of the words, while also possibly devaluing actual exclamations that show up from time to time (both explicit marks and particularly strong statements). That being said, if you intentionally wanted to emphasize this part just for meaning, I can understand.
I know that よ usually is intended as implying that the speaker believes this is something listener doesn't know more so than an exclamation. However, in this case I was thinking it was meant more as an intensifier. Further, I had seen it used as an "oh" in some other songs I have been using as practice like this one (on 風よ) and thought that was good way of getting that nuance across. Anyway, that was what I was thinking here.
That said, I get what you are saying and I agree. I will make the change.
I am also glad you mentioned this as I was working on another song that had a similar construction and I was planning on interpretting it as "Oh those who..." I will see if I can find a better way of wording that one too.
Quote:
Not sure whether this was an interpretation or a wrong lookup, but I think translating 燃え尽きる as 'exhausted' is not the way to go - something more literal like "until I burn out" would be better. There's a whole lot of loaded imagery that just goes away if you don't acknowledge the '燃え' half. If you intentionally tried to convey the idea of feeling exertion, "burn out" is conveniently capable of implying that in the same way that the Japanese does while not losing other possibilities. (If you got 'exhausted' from the dictionary definition of 尽きる, though, note that 尽きる in itself actually means exhaust in the sense of running out; maybe you knew that already, but the current English reads to me like it means the feeling.)
I was definitely sloppy in how I translated this song! Sorry.
When I originally translated this song I had that translated as run until you burn to exhaustion. When I went over this the second time I just put exhaustion. I will definitely change this to "let's continue running until we burn out."
Quote:
Fourth line has a romaji / reading error.
Correcting now.
Quote:
Same opinion as before regarding the exclamation point.
Something seems off about that comma placement. Maybe there should be a matching comma earlier after 'sunflowers'?
I will make those changes.
Quote:
Same opinion as before regarding 'allowed'. Also, note that 変えられる in these lines* is most likely the potential of 変える, which is a transitive verb, so もの is not changing on its own - there is an implied subject.
Honestly, I wasn't paying any attention to whether it was transitive or not. I was thinking transitive worked like they do in english where you can use them as both transitive and intransitive verbs. I assumed it only mattered when an intrasitive verb was used where there could be no direct object.
I will note that for the future and fix this one too.
Quote:
I agree that と is the quotation particle. Interpreting this verse as the speaker's thoughts (like bluepenguin's suggestion of an implied と信じている or と思う) is one possibility. Personally, I think it's the message that the speaker receives from the light of hope in the previous verse. (Also I have difficulty explaining it, but the よ is part of what leads me there, in a way.)
Aside, I've never seen はずしないと anywhere before - I don't believe that's actually a thing, is it?
I was basing that on this:
http://www.guidetojapanese.org/learn/grammar/must
Quote:
How to say: Must [verb]
[...]
2. Negative verb + 「と」 conditional + だめ／いけない／ならない
[...]
Various short-cuts for the lazy
[...]
The 「と」 conditional is also used by itself to imply 「だめ／いけない／ならない」.
学校に行かないと。
Gotta go to school.
So I was thinking a must statement using [phrase]筈する, or [phrase]筈しないといけない abbreviated the way they are suggesting to [phrase]はずしないと. I don't know of any actual case of [phrase]はずしないと.
Quote:
*(Confusingly, the passive voice of 変える is also 変えられる, but I think that's unlikely in this context, so let's not go into that.)
I think that was part of it. I was probably thinking about the causitive/passive and getting that confused with the potential.
Anyway thanks for all the input! I think I really need to do more review of this song myself. I was horribly sloppy and am going to review the rest of the lyrics when i get some time.
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
たった1つの想い貫く 難しさの中で僕は
守り抜いてみせたいのさ かけがえのないものの為に 果たしたい 約束
In the difficulty of carrying out only one thought,
I want to show I'll protect this promise, that I want to fulfill for those irreplaceable things
(Just making it sound less awkward, it's all up to your preference)
生き抜いてこそ 感じられる 永遠の愛しさの中 果たしたい 約束
As we survive, we can feel, within this eternal love, the promise we/I want to keep
(生き抜いてこそ I'm not sure about, go ahead and keep your current translation of that part if you want)
全て懸けよう 与えられた 時間の中で輝いていたい
ただ息をしてここに居るだけ それだけなのに溢れ出す気持ち
僕には僕の幸せがある そう思えるだけでどれほど
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ
Let's stake everything! In the time I have, I want to shine
I'm just breathing and being here, but just because of that my feelings overflow
I have my own happiness, but how long can I just think that?
To show how much I treasure this moment, I'll go on releasing my light
(そう思えるだけでどれほど is hard to understand. It seems omoeru is usually used as "seems like" but I'm going with "can think"
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど the ways I can interpret this line are: "the amount that I treasure this moment is the light I'll release" or "to the point that I treasure this moment, I'll release light". I'm partial to the first one but I can't think of a natural-sounding way to convey it so what I got right now is eh...)
誰かがこの扉 開けないか待ってる
Won't someone open this gate? I'm waiting
(in case you wanted the natural-sounding translation)
Re: Tatta Hitotsu no Omoi [Gunslinger Girl-II Teatrino Opening]
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shadowliepard
たった1つの想い貫く 難しさの中で僕は
守り抜いてみせたいのさ かけがえのないものの為に 果たしたい 約束
In the difficulty of carrying out only one thought,
I want to show I'll protect this promise, that I want to fulfill for those irreplaceable things
(Just making it sound less awkward, it's all up to your preference)
Thanks for the suggestion. And my translation does sound pretty awkward. How does this sound?
"In the diffculty of carrying out only one thought, I want to show
that I'll protect this feeling to the end. It is a promise I want to keep for that irreplaceable thing."
Quote:
生き抜いてこそ 感じられる 永遠の愛しさの中 果たしたい 約束
As we survive, we can feel, within this eternal love, the promise we/I want to keep
(生き抜いてこそ I'm not sure about, go ahead and keep your current translation of that part if you want)
Yeah I didn't recognize that construction when I first tried to translate this. So this time I researched it and found these links
http://maggiesensei.com/2015/10/05/h...E3%81%9D-koso/
https://japanesetest4you.com/flashca...81%9D-te-koso/
that the ~tekoso form means that the condition on been met. So that is why I translated as "now that we have survived."
Quote:
全て懸けよう 与えられた 時間の中で輝いていたい
ただ息をしてここに居るだけ それだけなのに溢れ出す気持ち
僕には僕の幸せがある そう思えるだけでどれほど
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど 光を放ってゆくよ
Let's stake everything! In the time I have, I want to shine
I'm just breathing and being here, but just because of that my feelings overflow
I have my own happiness, but how long can I just think that?
To show how much I treasure this moment, I'll go on releasing my light
(そう思えるだけでどれほど is hard to understand. It seems omoeru is usually used as "seems like" but I'm going with "can think"
I really like that translation! Particularly how you translated the third and fourth lines!
Quote:
この瞬間が 愛おしいほど the ways I can interpret this line are: "the amount that I treasure this moment is the light I'll release" or "to the point that I treasure this moment, I'll release light". I'm partial to the first one but I can't think of a natural-sounding way to convey it so what I got right now is eh...)
I like your first version as well. Honestly, I don't think a little awkwardness is bad if it does a good job of translating the lyric :)
Quote:
誰かがこの扉 開けないか待ってる
Won't someone open this gate? I'm waiting
(in case you wanted the natural-sounding translation)
Oh! I was so intent on translating this as an imbedded question that I didn't even think of translating it this way. I feel like the way you translated this carries over all the meannning perfectly! Thank you!
