the friends zone

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10-09-2009, 12:36 PM
gaburieru

the friends zone

The Friend zone? Am I the only one ending up there ALL THE TIME?

Nothing makes sence. First girls turn you down because you are "too close". Then they hang out with alphamales, realize that the guy only wanted her [language]. Come back to the "friend" and cry out.

Long story short, first you turn a guy down because he likes you for who you are. Then you take a guy that OBVIOUSLY don't, and cry about it:banghead:

Don't attempt to circumvent the word filter by obfuscating whatever triggers it - Eris
10-09-2009, 12:41 PM
lilminx

well thats just life. like i dont see my guy friends as bf material, but thats just me. theyre my friends for a reason, cause i like who they are and dont want it to change
10-09-2009, 03:21 PM
Lavos

Have you told her how you feel about her?
10-09-2009, 03:27 PM
gaburieru

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lavos

Have you told her how you feel about her?

Over the years... some yes, some no. "pre-rejected" most of the time. nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing "I love you, as a friend".
10-09-2009, 03:35 PM
Rein*

I don't think thats true, there is" Get away from, you're wierd"
among other things that hurt a whole lot worse than telling someone u love them as a friend. Think of it this way; if u really love them u'll find a way to be the persons friend regardless of ur not getting the relationship you so wanted..the point is sometimes without knowing you want the same thing that the so called alphamales want its just that u actually care for the person..so if ur feelings are true just forego th elust of it all and be friends if thats what she wants..who knows maybe she'll change her mind, as girls mature they tend to find better definiton of themselves and what truely makes them happy, while som enever find that.

just smething to think about^_^
10-09-2009, 03:38 PM
International 4-8818

You do understand that right now it is a stupid game. Just wait until she matures and then women love guys like you. Trust me, i am experiencing this as of now.
10-09-2009, 04:21 PM
RaShayRitto

whatever dude, there's a reason every man has a sacred stash of porn until the day his wife makes him throw it out

but on a serious note, i tend to be attracted to women who DONT have impaired judgment/taste in men. you should give it a try ^_^
10-09-2009, 04:26 PM
Anime Forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaburieru

Over the years... some yes, some no. "pre-rejected" most of the time. nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing "I love you, as a friend".

Heartbreak. Something I have dealt with, something that has hurt. I'd say around twenty five girls begin to mature. Good luck. And well if a person really likes this girl, then they should except the decision that they turned you down.

--Gli..thced Post--
10-09-2009, 04:30 PM
RaShayRitto

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Raiken-

I'd say around twenty five girls begin to mature.

XDDD coming from a 16 year old boy thats pretty funny!

heck sir! i'm 21 and i'm STILL immature. if girls are grown up by 25 then let me tell you....we guys probably arent mature til like...60 ._.
10-09-2009, 06:37 PM
Inactive Account 0061

Lol welcome to life. No offence but get used to it (I know what I talk about)
10-09-2009, 09:08 PM
sa5m

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Raiken-

Heartbreak. Something I have dealt with, something that has hurt. I'd say around twenty five girls begin to mature. Good luck. And well if a person really likes this girl, then they should except the decision that they turned you down.

--Gli..thced Post--

Psh, boys don't mature until.. hm, never.
10-09-2009, 09:37 PM
Cobra Commander

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaburieru

The Friend zone? Am I the only one ending up there ALL THE TIME? Nothing makes sence. First girls turn you down because you are "too close". Then they hang out with alphamales, realize that the guy only wanted her [language]. Come back to the "friend" and cry out. Long story short, first you turn a guy down because he likes you for who you are. Then you take a guy that OBVIOUSLY don't, and cry about it:banghead:

I've gotten that several times. I've only accepted it once, and if I had a shot with her I'd try again...By "not accepted" it, I mean that once placed in the friend zone, I do not pursue or maintain said friendship beyond a passing Hello. Why? Because if I've asked for a date, then I really like her. I don't just ask any gal out, she has to be special. Therefore, if she says she wants to be friends, I just let it go. I'd still have some kind of feelings toward her, and that's not fair to either party involved, and only causes trouble.

Generally, the ladies will swear they want a nice boy, and they will cry on your shoulder. DON'T LET THEM! You've made your intentions clear. If the attempt fails, move on!. Without fail, they will cry to you, the nice guy in front of them, while they pursue that alpha male in every possible way. You have a friend like this? Do not be her doormat. Do not be her "big brother". Don't be there at all.

What you must do is become the alpha male - a feat many of us try and fail repeatedly. Chances are he has things you don't. Maybe you think you have these things, but if you're not getting the girls, then work on it. The alpha male has self confidence. He's probably stronger than you. I don't know what you look like, but he might be better looking. He might have a "reputation". The trick is developing said confidence without coming off as a cocky jerk. I can't help you with that.

I don't really know what to tell you to go and do. Do you participate in any sports? Are you a nerd? I don't really need to know. If you're a hopeless nerd, then you'll have to find another angle to work.

Whatever it is, don't be a doormat. Being nice is not synonymous with being a doormat. And being an alpha male doesn't mean you have to be a prick. You just have to be aggressive and confident enough to catch their attention.

Looking like Brad Pitt helps. Looking like Cobra Commander doesn't. :laugh:
10-09-2009, 09:43 PM
Annie Hall

I've said "I love you, as a friend" to people I had romantic feelings for before. :/ The friend zone is a myth with some girls.
I would never reject a guy just because we were good friends.

So if you're getting rejected I'd say they just don't like you, it probably has nothing to do with your previous friendship.
10-09-2009, 09:50 PM
Cobra Commander

I could be wrong, but I think you misunderstood. The friend zone is when a guy asks a girl out, but has very little or no prior relationship with her. Her response is something akin to "I really like you, but let's just be friends."

Meaning that while she doesn't have a strong dislike for him - or maybe she does but doesn't want to hurt his feelings - she is disinterested or not attracted. It's often impossible to jump out of the friend zone.

Guys do it to girls sometimes too. I never have, though, if I get asked and I'm not interested I just say no. Politely, of course. But I never offer friendship.
10-09-2009, 09:54 PM
Annie Hall

First girls turn you down because you are "too close".

I'm pretty sure it wasn't a matter of not really knowing him.
10-09-2009, 10:03 PM
Cobra Commander

In that case...that's his mistake for not making his move sooner. I was looking at the usual accepted definition of "friend zone".

My first relationship was with a girl that I was friends with first. She made the move though, because in spite of her being obvious about wanting to be more than just friends, I was an oblivious retard, like many guys are. We had a nasty breakup six months later, and now...how long has it been? Seems like forever...we're friends again. Nowhere near close as before, but still friends.

For the OP - if you've got feelings, act on them sooner in this case. Don't get close, till you can really get close. And don't be too available or passive, either.
10-09-2009, 10:35 PM
Señor Nobody

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa5m

Psh, boys don't mature until.. hm, never.

I resent that. I'm so mature, I stick my tongue out at you...in defiance?!

To the OP...Better luck next time? There isn't much I can say other than play it cool.

Get a leather jacket, some sweet shades, and go "Hey!'
10-09-2009, 10:53 PM
RaShayRitto

i dunno about Revile's advice (respectfully disagreeing)

you dont have to "become" anything. just be you, respect yourself (which is mostly what revile is getting at with the not hanging around her), and see what comes your way.

youre too young to getting hung up on stuff like this. life moves on, a billion and a half girls will come your way
10-09-2009, 10:55 PM
Haoie

Women are crazy.

End of lesson.
10-09-2009, 11:02 PM
Cobra Commander

Women are like chocolates. Some are solid through and through. Some are gooey in the middle. And some are just plain nuts.
10-09-2009, 11:05 PM
sa5m

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Nobody

I resent that. I'm so mature, I stick my tongue out at you...in defiance?!

Are you pulling a Baka on me?
10-10-2009, 05:34 AM
GreyAcumen

Trust me, I know where you're coming from. I've been in your position many, many times. Do the girls ever appreciate how often you open the door for them? How you call them "Mi'lady?" No, they don't and they never will. Here's my advice: Forget the girls and pick up the sword, at least that will never betray you.
10-10-2009, 12:11 PM
SigmaSD

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaburieru

The Friend zone? Am I the only one ending up there ALL THE TIME?

Nothing makes sence. First girls turn you down because you are "too close". Then they hang out with alphamales, realize that the guy only wanted her [language]. Come back to the "friend" and cry out.

Long story short, first you turn a guy down because he likes you for who you are. Then you take a guy that OBVIOUSLY don't, and cry about it:banghead:

Don't attempt to circumvent the word filter by obfuscating whatever triggers it - Eris

Wow, the way you express yourself here; you're friends must be so lucky. :rolleyes:

Look, if you didn't want them to cry to you after having a problem, then you shouldn't have accepted to be their friend in the first place. Next time try to get them to see your intentions more easily. If you want to have a relationship with them, make it known. If it doesn't work then maybe they were just looking for a friend and found one in you.