Aria the Origination - 横顔-acoustic version-
Code:
「横顔-acoustic version-」
"Yokogao (Side Profile)"
どこまでも続くこの空 眺めてる横顔
頬に触れる長い髪が 揺れている
Your side profile gazing at the endless sky
Your hair swaying gently as it caresses your cheeks
切なさは 言葉にならないけど
あの頃も今もずっと
ひかりあふれるこの街に
いつまでも変わらぬ思いをよせて
This pain can't be expressed in words
But ever since then
I have always been in love
With this town overflowing with light
やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
As I chance upon kindness, the wind continues to blow and melt far into the distance
I gently closed my eyes
さっきまでふたり話した ほほえみのひととき
懐かしく楽しい日々 残してく
Just up till now, the two of us were talking, sharing moments filled with smiles
Leaving memories in a trail of days filled with nostalgia and joy
ひとつだけ 願いを込めて祈るの
心を繋ぐ架け橋
あの桟橋の向こう側へ
振り向けばきらめく木漏れ日の水路(みち)
I offer just one wish in prayer
A bridge joining our hearts
If you turn and look past the pier
You'll see a waterway shining from the light filtering through the trees
この場所に訪れたなら 両手広げてうけとめて
青い空も星空も 迎えてくれる そう きっと
If you happened to visit this place again, I'd receive you with open arms
Both the blue sky and the star-filled sky would surely welcome you back
高鳴鼓動は 波間を歌うリズム
カタチのない 確かなもの 見つけて
The throbbing in my chest sings the rhythm of the waves
And I find something without form, yet surely there
やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
この場所に訪れたなら 両手広げてうけとめて
青い空も星空も 迎えてくれる あなたのことを そう きっと
As I chance upon kindness, the wind continues to blow and melt far into the distance
I gently closed my eyes
If you happened to visit this place again, I'd receive you with open arms
Both the blue sky and the star-filled sky would surely welcome you back
Some things I'm worried about:
- A translation for "Yokogao" that sounds more poetic
- Should "pain" be replaced with "emotions"?
- Should I go with a simpler translation for 木漏れ日?
- Is there a better way to put やさしさに巡り逢うとき?
Comments and suggestions would be very much appreciated.
Re: Aria the Origination - 横顔-acoustic version-
> - A translation for "Yokogao" that sounds more poetic
Well, you can just say "profile"--the "side" part is redundant. If you are seeing someone in profile, you're seeing them side-on. I don't know if that qualifies as "more poetic," though.
>- Should "pain" be replaced with "emotions"?
I'd say no. 切なさ does specifically imply painful feelings, as far as I know, and if you change it to "emotions" you lose that and it's unclear what kind of emotions are involved--in fact, in context the most obvious assumption would be positive feelings, like love.
Re: Aria the Origination - 横顔-acoustic version-
> 頬に触れる長い髪が 揺れている
You seem to have left out the "long" part (long hair).
>やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
As I chance upon kindness, the wind continues to blow and melt far into the distance
I gently closed my eyes
It feels like you strayed a little bit off the original construction, which isn't always a bad thing,
but I personally feel like something was lost during the process.
"The wind that blows through whenever/every time I happen upon kindness, always slowly dissolves/goes on dissolving far into the distance (far and wide, maybe?)"
Also, to answer you question regarding 巡り合う, "come across" or "happen upon", could work in my opinion.
"Encounter" is also a considerable option.
>A translation for "Yokogao" that sounds more poetic
Hmm... "Face in profile", perhaps?
Re: Aria the Origination - 横顔-acoustic version-
Disclaimer:
@A Sunfish
The stuff here is more for comprehension than translation. But they may be useful things that you can pick out. If so, feel free to do so and ignore the rest, which are just similar or outright not compatible/applicable.
@all
If there is any blatant bugs in my understanding/interpretation, do leave comments. Looking forward to learning, as well as improve my understanding of the song. Trying to improve lyrics comprehension skill, which is really a form of literature study and more demanding than just japanese language proficiency.
thanks in advance!
yeah... love the anime and the music....
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overall: 横顔
To me at least, there seems to be some nuances that are hard to translate properly.
Something akin to "(secretly) looking at you (from the side) without you noticing", as opposed to just literal "face seen from side" or "side profile".
Unfortunately, I also don't have a good translation for just this term. Throwing this out to see if there is a better one possible (if not, well, we tried).
I see this song as a song of partings, of final goodbyes to somebody, the person whose face the protagonist is looking at. It incorporates the pain of the parting, the nostalgia of memories of "good old days", a desire to maintain the "connection" to the person, as well as hope for reunion.
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どこまでも続くこの空 眺めてる横顔
頬に触れる長い髪が 揺れている
My try:
Stealing a look of the side of your face, as you gaze upon the sky that seems to go on forever,
the swaying of your long hair as they grazes your cheeks
Notes:
1. The first verse deviates from the literal translation. Which can be bad. Just re-expressing the context I intepreted from the original. Prob not usable (as translation).
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切なさは 言葉にならないけど
あの頃も今もずっと
ひかりあふれるこの街に
いつまでも変わらぬ思いをよせて
My try:
This wrenching heartache, although it cannot be expressed in mere words,
has always, no matter then or now,
brought my heart back to the our unforgettable times (together) in that light-filled city
Notes:
1. I applied けど to first line instead of 2nd.
2. RE:切なさ , Adding to what bluepenguin mentioned above. I feel that just 'pain' may not be sufficient. it seems have the nuance like "intolerable", "heart-wrenching" kind of nuance.
3. using city over town because light-filled sort of implies active at night, where an unsleeping city seems more appropriate.
Last two lines is also rearranged to be more coherent in english.
4. For the last part, I brought in elements and context from the rest of the song beyond the actual phrases. again, bad for translation perhaps.
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ひとつだけ 願いを込めて祈るの
心を繋ぐ架け橋
あの桟橋の向こう側へ
振り向けばきらめく木漏れ日の水路(みち)
Weaving just a single wish into a prayer
for a bridge that connects (or has connected?) our hearts,
extending from the pier to beyond
a shimmering road upon the water, from the sunlight through the tree leaves, when I turn and look back
Notes:
1. would "connecting" or 'linking' be more appropriate for 繋ぐ than 'joining'?
2. 桟橋の向こう側へ is interpreted as symbolizing the 'future' direction that the subject person is leaving by (assuming they are standing on the pier together from the start of the song)
3. Last line could symbolize the common 'everyday' 'past' that the two persons have walked together to reach here.
4. overall, the last two lines elaborates the protagonist's wish to maintain the connection no matter how far the other person is leaving to?
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やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
Whenever I encounter a warm feeling, the wind seems to blow through, reaching far away
I gently closed my eyes
Notes:
1. やさしさ for "kindness" doesn't feel quite right. Nuances of "care", "loving", "affection" etc seems to be closer. I could not find a good phrase though, so used a generic "warm feeling" instead. My own interpetation is "something that warms/touches/caresses my heart".
2. The wind part I don't quite get it. My current guess is that it is an incidental, non-related thing, to make the protagnist comfortable so that he/she closed the eyes, or reversed: because the eyes are closed, the sound/touch of the wind is more acutely observed.
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さっきまでふたり話した ほほえみのひととき
懐かしく楽しい日々 残してく
the words we share up to just now, and the many moments we smiled
the nostalgic days of happiness, is being left behind.
Notes:
1. for last line, interpreting 残してく -> "is being left behind" because "we" are (in the process of) parting.
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(repeated stanza)
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この場所に訪れたなら 両手広げてうけとめて
青い空も星空も 迎えてくれる そう きっと
If you happened to visit this place again, I'd receive you with open arms
Both the blue sky of day and the star-filled sky of night would surely welcome you back
Notes:
1. almost unchanged from OP. I just added the additional contrast between the day and night skies, which probably means "no matter when" or "always".
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高鳴鼓動は 波間を歌うリズム
カタチのない 確かなもの 見つけて
The throbbing in my chest sings to the rhythm of the waves
I discovered something that cannot be seen, yet definitely exists.
Notes:
1.slightly arranged from OP again. The "sings the rhythm" is changed to "sings to the rhythm" as I thought it is the heartbeat matching the wave's rhythm, rather than the wave's rhythm matching the heartbeat.
2. literal translation of 'without form' is changed to 'cannot be seen' which may be closer to the meaning.
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(almost repeated stanzas)
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Re: Aria the Origination - 横顔-acoustic version-
Code:
「横顔-acoustic version-」
"Yokogao (Profile)"
どこまでも続くこの空 眺めてる横顔
頬に触れる長い髪が 揺れている
Your profile gazing at the endless sky
Your long hair swaying gently as it caresses your cheeks
切なさは 言葉にならないけど
あの頃も今もずっと
ひかりあふれるこの街に
いつまでも変わらぬ思いをよせて
This pain can't be expressed in words
But ever since then
I have always been in love
With this town overflowing with light
やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
The wind that blows through when I encounter kindness
Always goes on melting far into the distance - I gently closed my eyes
さっきまでふたり話した ほほえみのひととき
懐かしくて楽しい日々 残してく
Just up till now, the two of us were talking, sharing moments filled with smiles
Leaving memories behind in a trail of days filled with nostalgia and joy
ひとつだけ 願いを込めて祈るの
心を繋ぐ架け橋
あの桟橋の向こう側へ
振り向けばきらめく木漏れ日の水路(みち)
I offer just one wish in prayer
A bridge joining our hearts
If you turn and look past the pier
You'll see a waterway shining from the light filtering through the trees
この場所に訪れたなら 両手広げてうけとめて
青い空も星空も 迎えてくれる そう きっと
If you happened to visit this place again, I'd receive you with open arms
Both the blue sky and the star-filled sky would surely welcome you back
高鳴る鼓動は 波間を歌うリズム
カタチのない 確かなもの 見つけて
The throbbing in my chest sings to the rhythm of the waves
And I find something without form, yet surely there
やさしさに巡り逢うとき 吹き抜ける風はいつでも
遥か遠くとけてゆく そっと目を閉じた
この場所に訪れたなら 両手広げてうけとめて
青い空も星空も 迎えてくれる あなたのことを そう きっと
The wind that blows through when I encounter kindness
Always goes on melting far into the distance - I gently closed my eyes
If you happened to visit this place again, I'd receive you with open arms
Both the blue sky and the star-filled sky would surely welcome you back
Sorry for being dead. ^^"
Thanks to @bluepenguin and @Haze~ for the help.
I opted to use 'melt' instead of 'dissolve' as they convey similar meanings but 'melt' seems more romantic (to me).
@鏡花水月
Thanks for picking up 'sings to' as well as the double meaning (?) behind 残してく.
Your translation doesn't appear to be too far off, although as you said, it does take liberties with referencing the show - but since music is a form of art, and art is a personal form of communication, there's nothing wrong with interpreting the song a little differently. :)
'Connect', 'link' and 'join' are all usable in that context, but I suppose I'd opt to use 'join' since it's probably the word I see used with 'bridge' the most.