Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/shi...gelimkafig.htm
original lyrics, line 3 "tagliche" should be "tägliche"
original lyrics, line 5 "gruene" should be "grüne"
original lyrics, line 6 "schoene" should be "schöne"
original lyrics, line 8,10 "koennen" should be "können"
original lyrics line 15 "daemmernden " shuld be "dämmernden"
original lyrics line 17 "Traenen" should be "Tränen" and "Aerger" should be "Ärger"
original lyrics line 19 "ankaempfen" should be "ankämpfig"
original lyrics line 20 "duerfen" should be "dürfen"
English translation line 12 "All living things one day die" sounds me grammatically wrong. maybe it sounds better like " One day every living thing dies" and it means the same as "Alles Lebendige stirbt eines Tages"
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Thanks, @bambooXZX .
Also, maybe another native English speaker should back me up here because it is my translation, but as far as I am aware there is nothing wrong with the grammar of "all living things one day die."
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluepenguin
Thanks, @
bambooXZX .
Also, maybe another native English speaker should back me up here because it is my translation, but as far as I am aware there is nothing wrong with the grammar of "all living things one day die."
Sounds OK to me in English, but I don't know German so I don't really know if I'm interpreting it right. I've assumed it means "all living things will eventually come to the end of their life and will die"
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluepenguin
Also, maybe another native English speaker should back me up here because it is my translation, but as far as I am aware there is nothing wrong with the grammar of "all living things one day die."
"All living things die one day"
Time adverbs usually go at the beginning or the end of the sentence, :) Of course English sentence structure isn't exactly rigid so it's not like yours is wrong.
Too bad @AzureDark isn't around as much anymore - despite (or probably because) he is not a native English speaker he always seems to catch me when I get English word order wrong.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fuukanou
Sounds OK to me in English, but I don't know German so I don't really know if I'm interpreting it right. I've assumed it means "all living things will eventually come to the end of their life and will die"
Thanks! That is what the German means as far as I'm aware; my translation is pretty literal, though as I'm not a native German speaker I won't discount the possibility that there may be nuance that I'm missing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rizuchan
"All living things die one day"
Time adverbs usually go at the beginning or the end of the sentence, :) Of course English sentence structure isn't exactly rigid so it's not like yours is wrong.
I appreciate that you mean to be helpful, but I am a native English speaker and fairly well versed in English grammar. I wasn't actually concerned that the sentence might be grammatically incorrect, I just didn't want the OP to have to take my word for it, and my word alone, that my translation was correct. I know it's a less common word order, but I don't see a compelling reason to change it. I don't remember exactly what I was going for in this translation from 2015, but I was probably aiming for a slightly elevated/poetic diction. Admittedly, I sometimes do that when the original text doesn't entirely warrant it because I have some kind of feeling that song lyrics ought to be poetic if they're not blatantly slangy, which is an impulse I should probably curb, but.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluepenguin
I appreciate that you mean to be helpful, but I am a native English speaker and fairly well versed in English grammar. I wasn't actually concerned that the sentence might be grammatically incorrect, I just didn't want the OP to have to take my word for it, and my word alone, that my translation was correct. I know it's a less common word order, but I don't see a compelling reason to change it. I don't remember exactly what I was going for in this translation from 2015, but I was probably aiming for a slightly elevated/poetic diction. Admittedly, I sometimes do that when the original text doesn't entirely warrant it because I have some kind of feeling that song lyrics ought to be poetic if they're not blatantly slangy, which is an impulse I should probably curb, but.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like I didn't think you knew your English grammar or anything... Since Japanese word order is kinda flip-flopped with English, I tend to get my English word orders mixed around when I'm translating and it always comes out sounding kludgy. I misread and thought you wanted input.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Honestly, I feel like putting 'one day' at the beginning would be a mistake here, as it kind of suggests things happening as a single event.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
It sounds all right to me. It would sound more natural to me as 'all living things (will) one day die / die one day', but I understand that that might not be what the german lyrics are trying to say.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rizuchan
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like I didn't think you knew your English grammar or anything... Since Japanese word order is kinda flip-flopped with English, I tend to get my English word orders mixed around when I'm translating and it always comes out sounding kludgy. I misread and thought you wanted input.
No, I'm sorry for snapping at you. It was uncalled for, and I really should have thought that comment over for a minute before I posted it.
That said, in this case "one day" actually is at the end of the line in the original German, so the weird word order was clearly a choice on my part, even if I don't really remember why I made it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rei
It sounds all right to me. It would sound more natural to me as 'all living things (will) one day die / die one day', but I understand that that might not be what the german lyrics are trying to say.
Hmm, do you think there's much of a difference in nuance between "die" and "will die" here? I think if, as @bambooXZX said, the "one day" were at the beginning of the line, "one day all living things will die" would sound more like "everything will die simultaneously on a specific day"/"one day there will be no living things left at all" (vs. "eventually everything comes to the end of its life span," which is how I read the original line), but "all living things will one day die/will die one day" doesn't carry a very different implication than if the "will" were left out. And I think you're right that it does flow better that way.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluepenguin
Hmm, do you think there's much of a difference in nuance between "die" and "will die" here? I think if, as @
bambooXZX said, the "one day" were at the beginning of the line, "one day all living things will die" would sound more like "everything will die simultaneously on a specific day"/"one day there will be no living things left at all" (vs. "eventually everything comes to the end of its life span," which is how I read the original line), but "all living things will one day die/will die one day" doesn't carry a very different implication than if the "will" were left out. And I think you're right that it does flow better that way.
Yeah, I think the placement of 'one day' really does make a difference in the meaning, though the effect is sorta reduced if you put it at the front rather than the back.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rei
Yeah, I think the placement of 'one day' really does make a difference in the meaning, though the effect is sorta reduced if you put it at the front rather than the back.
Sorry, I'm not sure I follow--to clarify, are you saying that you think the impact of the line is less if it's "... one day die" vs. "die one day" or talking about the placement of "one day" at the beginning vs. end of the line as a whole?
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
(Native german here)
Something just crossed my mind:
The difference between "die" and "will die" exist in german aswell:
"sterben" and "wird sterben" (mind the conjugation change)
Since the original here is "Alles Lebendige stirbt eines Tages, "will die" isn't a option if you want to stick as close to the original as possible.
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluepenguin
Sorry, I'm not sure I follow--to clarify, are you saying that you think the impact of the line is less if it's "... one day die" vs. "die one day" or talking about the placement of "one day" at the beginning vs. end of the line as a whole?
I did mean the placement of 'one day' at the beginning/end of the sentence, but now that I've thought about it more...that doesn't actually make sense haha. Feel free to ignore that!
Re: Vogel im Käfig - Shingeki no kyojin
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ghdf
(Native german here)
Something just crossed my mind:
The difference between "die" and "will die" exist in german aswell:
"sterben" and "wird sterben" (mind the conjugation change)
Since the original here is "Alles Lebendige stirbt eines Tages, "will die" isn't a option if you want to stick as close to the original as possible.
That's true; getting into the minor details of English grammar I lost sight of the original for a minute. Thanks for pointing it out.
