Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu 2009 - under "Mebius"

I'm... kinda afraid that this translation is just a mess, but hey, a challenge is always good... right? :D I stumbled on some blogs that thought this song was about Disappearance, which I haven't read yet, so if anyone that has can make more sense of something because of it, please tell me.

under section, might Moebius
replay play play Moebius
land wake but our Moebius ring the ring

Existence, past, present, the time between
Amendment, improper, restartable
Selection, comprehension, junction search, manual

if now... a trap is born and yet being raised
With just expectation, it is beyond comprehension, beyond reason
"Moebius"

A forbidden carving wanders the reverse future
Remaining unaware of an armful of inconsistencies
If it does not notice, then I will chase it
It has already disappeared, disappeared... difference. [1]

This distorted speed, utmostly [2]
(? (the link) is where?) specifically.

It's been such a long time, and now... a trap is born and yet raised
With such things as expectation, it is beyond comprehension, beyond reason
"Moebius"

"Close", the indicated destination is the schedule axis [3]
By my own hands the useless interference is reverted
Do not just tell me, the disturbance is increasing
So come, do not lose interest, do not lose interest... uncertainty [4]

The brightness I will not return there for
(A hidden agenda?) Correct.

Therefore, it is not a riddle, rather a wish resembling one
To grant it, reschedule until it is assembled
if now... a trap is born and yet being raised
With just expectation, it is beyond comprehension, beyond reason
"Moebius"

under section, might Moebius
replay play play Moebius
land wake but our Moebius ring the ring

Existence, past, present, the time between
Amendment, improper, restartable
Selection, comprehension, junction establishment, automatic

[1] Different? Difference? or just simply, "no"? Or something else I'm missing...
[2] This whole stanza is just... X.X
[3] "Schedule axis" is the most sense I could make out of 予定軸 but it just seems like nonsense.
[4] Same deal here as "違う"

I'm curious: why do you have the translation of "Mebius" as "Moebius"?

Also, as far as I can tell, I can't really see a connection with the lyrics to the Vanishment novel. (And it's my favorite novel of the 9 so far, so it's not like I know too little about it to see one.)

I was gonna have a footnote about that. Basically Mebius is a mistranslation of "Möbius", coming from "メビウス". I chose to go with alternate spelling "Moebius" to show more of a connection to "Mebius"... and to avoid using special characters since they mess up the encoding on the site sometimes. ^^;

I thought it was Mobius, but not until recently did I learn that one can also spell it "Moebius". I guess I should have done some research, first...

It would really help if you'd include the kanji lyrics, or a link to them, or something.

Sorry! I meant to, it just slipped my mind, apparently.

http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/haruhi/undermebius.jis

Thanks!

>Existence, past, present, the time between

I'm thinking 現地時差 is meant to be taken as a unit, and is a combination of "現地時間," "local time," and "時差," "time difference." Thus, "local time difference."

>With just expectation, it is beyond comprehension, beyond reason

The impression that I get is that the expectation/prediction itself is what exceeds comprehension and reason. The structure's pretty ambiguous, though, it could just be me.

>Remaining unaware of an armful of inconsistencies

This isn't wrong per se, but "an armful of inconsistencies" doesn't quite get across that the forbidden carving (?!) is the one carrying the inconsistencies (without realizing it).

>It has already disappeared, disappeared... difference.

I would go with "wrong" for "違う" here, personally.

>This distorted speed, utmostly [2]
>(? (the link) is where?) specifically.

I think you've gotten this stanza to make as much sense as it's going to. Though my inner nitpicking grammar nazi feels the need to point out that "utmostly" isn't a word. I'd just use "thoroughly" or something. And I'd put it as "thoroughly distorted speed," because I feel like if you put the adverb at the end it comes out more like a translation of 歪むこの速さはどこまでも... if that makes any sense.

>"Close", the indicated destination is the schedule axis

God, I cannot think how to word this neatly, but I read 閉じよと示す先 as "the point that was indicated to me and that I was told to close"? Like there's a hole in the 予定軸, whatever that is, and someone (the Data Entity or whatever) told Yuki to close it up.

>Do not just tell me, the disturbance is increasing

There's no negative command there; it's just saying that the disorder increases when she's only told about it. Or... something like that; I can't think how to word this well either.

>So come, do not lose interest, do not lose interest

It's plain negative, not a command -- so "I won't lose interest," I guess?

>The brightness I will not return there for
>(A hidden agenda?) Correct.

The brightness itself is "for the sake of not returning," but that makes very little sense, so no one will probably mind if you leave it as it is now. More importantly, the first and second lines are connected: "Is the brightness that I will not return there for / A hidden agenda?" ... Although I might actually go with "intended to deceive me" for 騙す意図, myself.

... Phew, you really picked a challenging one here, didn't you? I would've quit after the first stanza if I were translating it from scratch, so to speak, instead of just offering corrections. Anyway, I hope that was helpful and not just more confusing.

Sorry for taking so long to reply, my week has just been super busy. x.x I really appreciate the help with this!

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>It has already disappeared, disappeared... difference.

I would go with "wrong" for "違う" here, personally.

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Urgh, yes, because that actually makes sense, doesn't it? And later she says "correct" so... I feel really dumb about that one, haha.

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God, I cannot think how to word this neatly, but I read 閉じよと示す先 as "the point that was indicated to me and that I was told to close"? Like there's a hole in the 予定軸, whatever that is, and someone (the Data Entity or whatever) told Yuki to close it up.

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I think that's right too. I'm still going to have to work on that line thanks to the cursed 予定軸 but that takes most of the mystery out of it for me I think...

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The brightness itself is "for the sake of not returning," but that makes very little sense, so no one will probably mind if you leave it as it is now.

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Is
The brightness, for the sake of not turning back
(Intends to deceive me?) Correct.
any better? The first line is actually what I had originally... I understand your point but I'm having a difficult time expressing it.

And for some reason, this is the new Haruhi character theme I'm having the least trouble translating. Something about not having to worry about meaning as much lets me concentrate purely on grammar, I think. :laugh:

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Originally Posted by Rizuchan

The brightness, for the sake of not turning back
(Intends to deceive me?) Correct.
any better? The first line is actually what I had originally... I understand your point but I'm having a difficult time expressing it.

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Looks fine to me!

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Originally Posted by Rizuchan

And for some reason, this is the new Haruhi character theme I'm having the least trouble translating. Something about not having to worry about meaning as much lets me concentrate purely on grammar, I think. :laugh:

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Haha, I know what you mean -- I kind of felt that way about the one Utena duel song I did.