Kawaki wo Ameku by Minami (English Translation)

I want to post this but before I want to check them. Thank you in advance.

未熟　無ジョウ　されど　美しくあれ
Inexperienced, heartless (uncertain), but even so, be beautiful.

No Destiny　ふさわしく無い
こんなんじゃきっと物足りない
くらい語っとけばうまくいく
物、金、愛、言、もう自己顕示飽きた
No Destiny would tie you and me.
This alone won't be enough,
If I explain it properly, it should all work out.
Things, Money, Love, Words, I'm tired of putting myself out there

既視感(デジャヴ)　何がそんな不満なんだ？
散々ワガママ語っといて　これ以上他に何がいる？
そんなところも割と嫌いじゃ無い
Déjà vu, "What are you so unsatisfied with?"
"After saying all those selfish things, what more could you possibly want?"
"But yet, I don't hate this situation."

もう「聞き飽きたんだよ、そのセリフ。」
中途半端だけは嫌
Just stop, "I'm sick of hearing those lines."
Leaving things unfinished is the one thing I hate.

もういい
ああしてこうして言ってたって
愛して　どうして？　言われたって
遊びだけなら簡単で　真剣交渉無茶苦茶で
思いもしない軽(おも)い言葉
何度使い古すのか？
どうせ
期待してたんだ出来レースでも
引用だらけのフレーズも
踵持ち上がる言葉タブーにして
空気を読んだ雨降らないでよ
Enough!
Even if you say this or do that,
Even if you say you love me, or why?
It's easy if it's just for fun, but doing this for real is too absurd.
Those thoughtless words, those flimsy (weighty) words.
Just how many times are you going to repeat them?
Anyway,
Even if I got my hopes up for this fixed game,
Even if these phrases are nothing but quotes,
Words that get my hopes up, let's make it all taboo.
Take a hint, please don't let it rain.

まどろっこしい話は嫌
必要最低限でいい　2文字以内でどうぞ
"I hate talking in a roundabout way." (Feelings sluggish. Don't wanna talk.)
"Just give me the bare minimum. Just two characters."

紅の蝶は何のメールも送らない
脆い扇子広げる　その方が魅力的でしょう
The red butterfly, can't even send a single message.
I spread this fragile fan because you find it more attractive that way, don't you?

迷で
応えられないなら　ほっといてくれ
迷えるくらいなら　去っといてくれ
肝心なとこは筒抜けで　安心だけはさせられるような
甘いあめが降れば
傘もさしたくなるだろう？
このまま
期待したままでよかった　目を瞑った
変えたかった　大人ぶった
無くした　巻き戻せなかった
今雨、止まないで
Confused.
If you can't answer, please leave me alone.
If you can't stop hesitating, please leave me.
The crucial words go in on ear out the other. Just let it bring you peace of mind.
If this sweet rain fell on you,
It'd make you want to hold up your umbrella, wouldn't it?
Like this,
I'm glad I kept my hopes up. I closed my eyes
I wanted to change, pretending to be an adult.
Lost. Irreparable.
Now, please don't stop raining.

コピー、ペースト、デリート　その繰り返し
吸って、吐いた
だから
それでもいいからさ　此処いたいよ
Copy, Paste, Delete.
Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out.
So please,
I don't care anymore, it hurts right here (I want to stay here).

もういい
ああしてこうして言ってたって
愛して　どうして？　言われたって
遊びだけなら簡単で　真剣交渉支離滅裂で
思いもしない重い真実(うそ)は
タブーにしなくちゃな？
きっと
期待してたんだ出来レースでも
公式通りのフレーズも
踵上がる癖もう終わりにして
空気を読んだ空晴れないでよ
Enough!
Even if you say this or do that,
Even if you say you love me, or why?
It's easy if it's just for fun, but doing this for real is too irrational.
Those thoughtless words, those weighty lies (truths),
Let's just make them all taboo.
Surely,
Even if this is just a fixed game,
Even if it's just a set phrase,
I'll put an end to this habit of getting my hopes up.
Take a hint, don't let it clear up.

今日も、雨。
傘を閉じて　濡れて帰ろうよ
It's raining again today.
Let's close my umbrella, and go home in the rain.

Just taking a quick look:

>No Destiny　ふさわしく無い

Your current translation is very poetic but I think it's a stretch and doesn't quite incorporate the meaning of ふさわしい.

>"I hate talking in a roundabout way." (Feelings sluggish. Don't wanna talk.)

The first version is the correct one, IMO.

>The crucial words go in on ear out the other.

Nitpicky, but either "in one ear and out the other" or "in one ear, out the other" (not "in one ear out the other").

>Copy, Paste, Delete.
>Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Nitpicky again, but doesn't "Repeat." belong on the previous line?

>I don't care anymore, it hurts right here (I want to stay here).

I think the first option is the right one again.

>Even if you say this or do that,
>Even if you say you love me, or why?

Note that it's 言ってたって followed by 言われたって, so without any indication of the subject changing between lines (which there isn't), whoever the subject is is saying the stuff in the first line, but the stuff on the second line is being said to them.

>Let's close my umbrella, and go home in the rain.

You can interpret this either as "Let's close our umbrella(s)..." or "I'll close my umbrella..." (the second would be my interpretation, personally), but this mash-up of the two options sounds odd.

I did some changes on the one you mentioned:

No Destiny　ふさわしく無い
No Destiny it's unworthy / not suitable

I hate talking in a roundabout way. (I picked the one you preferred)

The crucial words go in on ear and out the other. (I changed to the one you gave)

Copy, Paste, Delete. Repeat (Yup this should be here)

I don't care anymore, it hurts right here. (also, I picked the one you preferred)

Even if you say this or do that,
Even if you say you love me, or why?
(I changed to this one:
You said it like this
Why you love me?
Is it okay?)

Let's close my umbrella, and go home in the rain.
(I changed it to:
Close our umbrella, get wet and let’s go home
What do you think?

For the 言ってたって one, I believe it should be something like "Even though I was saying this and that, you asked '"Love me"... but why?' back"


For the final line I reckon you should just take what bluepenguin suggested: "I'll close my umbrella and get wet as I go home"

Thanks :happy: bluepenguin and Fuukanou for the help

For this part:
"今日も、雨。
傘を閉じて　濡れて帰ろうよ"
I will take your recommendation and change to:
"It's raining again today.
I'll close my umbrella and get wet as I go home".

In addition, this part of the lyrics should what should I use:
"ああしてこうして言ってたって
愛して　どうして？　言われたって"
to
"Even though you say it this way or that,
Even if you tell me to love you, or ask, “Why?”
or the one Fuukanou mentioned:
"Even though I was saying this and that, you asked '"Love me"... but why?' back"

:confused: ??

Alright, I'm digging this thread back up, because I too gave a crack at translating this and there are some points here to be brought up:


未熟　無ジョウ　されど　美しくあれ
mujou is either 無情 or 無常 in this line and probably should have both definitions in the list



No Destiny　ふさわしく無い
こんなんじゃきっと物足りない
くらい語っとけばうまくいく


I interpreted this in a completely different way:
There's no destiny; I'm not worthy of you
I'm sure someone like me would be a bit lacking for you-
If I say something along those lines, things will go well


There's something about the use of 語っておく that makes me thing it's a bit deceitful but I can't really justify it. I also took こんなんじゃ as こんな私じゃ taking cues from the ふさわしくない but I'm not sure having re-read your translation if that was the best idea, the idea that it's the destiny being 物足りない sorta seems more convincing but again wouldn't it more likely be そんなんじゃ in that case?


ああしてこうして言ってたって
愛して　どうして？　言われたって


I translated as:
Even if I were to ask you to do this or that
Even if I were to be asked back "Love you? But why?"
If the して is treated to be a soft imperative in the top line, then why wouldn't it be in the second? It also clears up why it's 愛して in the second if it was one of the the commands given.


空気を読んだ雨降らないでよ
It's not 読んで, it's 読んだ; as a result, I decided to take it as attributive form, resulting in the opposite meaning: Don't read the mood and rain down on me
It's talking about pathetic fallacy (I think) where you see in movies it's always raining when something sad is happening, and she's asking for that not to happen.


肝心なとこは筒抜けで　安心だけはさせられるような
甘いあめが降れば
傘もさしたくなるだろう？
I translated as:
If such a sweet rain were to fall
That ignored all the important bits, but instead just gave you a sense of relief
It'd make you want to open up your umbrella, right?
By propagating the ような onto the 雨 on the next line and because xyzだけは means "all it does is xyz".


Thoughts?
I have enclosed my full translation here: https://pastebin.com/vEVWjQfs

Unrelated, but I was wondering what your logic was behind translating the title as "Tempest of thirst" . As far as google can show me カワキヲアメク ~~ 乾きを叫ぶ

Actually, after understanding the songs' lyrics I tried to understand what is the カワキヲアメク? after watching the official music video of the song on the singer youtube channel I find the rain is crying so I figured it out the "Tempest of Thirst" or "Wailing Thirst" is either fine for a translation. I hope this makes sense :happy::happy:.

Hey all,
I don't speak Japanese but loved the song and, trying to learn the lyrics, I've found a mistake in the romaji version.


The site shows:
No Destiny fusawashiku nai
konna n ja kitto monotarinai
kurai kattokeba umaku iku

and I hear she singing "katattokeba"

If this is just my ignorance of the language... my bad haha


Great job btw, the footnotes add so much.



cheers

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by viniciusfermon

Hey all,
I don't speak Japanese but loved the song and, trying to learn the lyrics, I've found a mistake in the romaji version.


The site shows:
No Destiny fusawashiku nai
konna n ja kitto monotarinai
kurai kattokeba umaku iku

and I hear she singing "katattokeba"

If this is just my ignorance of the language... my bad haha


Great job btw, the footnotes add so much.



cheers

---

Sorry, there were too many 't's for my fingers to handle ahaha, I've fixed it now. Please also note as well that it's a rather liberal translation so don't use it for reference.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fuukanou

Sorry, there were too many 't's for my fingers to handle ahaha, I've fixed it now. Please also note as well that it's a rather liberal translation so don't use it for reference.

---

hahah, man what a piece of song, in every aspect!


About the translation, don't worry. I'm from Brazil and have seen maybe 3 different translations in English plus a different one in Portuguese. It's no use...
I'm happy with getting the feeling and the general idea.



Thanks!