loved now and forever

hey ppl i just wrote something now recently hope ya enjoy it. this is the first time for me to write in this catigory so im a bet nervous. so pweez read and hopfully enjoy.

Loved now and forever

he brushed me to his body sweetly
then he took my hand delicatly
our eyes mett and i was red as a rose
smiling at me like an opeining cherryblosome
his greeish-bluish eyes were not common
slowly in embrace i was melting
when he talked i heard birds singing
we danced and danced for hours
no music, but the sound steps of ours
then swiftly he held with his hand my chin
all of a sudden to his face was coming a grin
he leand close for a kiss
i closed my eyes,i heard the wind hiss
in his kiss like no other i felt passion
i felt as if on earth had descendd heaven
i felt like a princess and i was rescued from the tower
a shooting star passed and i wished this moment would go slower
then he stoped and said we now sit
we sat and now low lights was lit
we were togther sitting under the stars
i wished we could go alone to Mars
both his arms wraped around me like a child
from the inside my heart now pounding wild
he stroked my hair 'till i went to sleep
from happiness my heart now wanted to leap
i had the most beautiful dream ever
it was stuck in my head on a plate of silver
i dreamed he took me to Mars alone
for the rest of my life i didnt want to mone
to have him i was the luckyest girl on earth
to lose him that to me would be great loath
that was the first and last love of my life

well thnx for ya time and i hope ya enjoyed leave me a comment and tell me how it is ^^ thnx again lol :p

O___o well done, i have to say it seems a little forced with being rhymed.. but you know, i am a perfectionist so no its ok. lol, it is good, you should keep writing and getting better as you go. >>>

It's nice, but maybe you should fix up your spelling mistakes. It makes a big difference, and it also makes it easier to read.

All in all though, I think it's lovely. Good work!

yeah sorry i'll fix those it does change the meaning sorry ^^; thnx though :)

I love your poem.

its all fixed now hopfully there isnt anymore typos sorry about that. lol *rubs the back of her head embaressed*