Are you sure that this is your first poem?? Because it's really great, mon ami! Like seriously, I'm adding this to my favorites tab.~
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Are you sure that this is your first poem?? Because it's really great, mon ami! Like seriously, I'm adding this to my favorites tab.~
*Claps*
Thanks a lot man :D
I accept and agree with your critiques, the poem's flow slows down a bit in some verses, I think the first strophe is clearly the best but with the second in a close match, so I feel pleased with my poem 9/10 in the first half/2 strophes, I'd give 8/10 to the third strophe and tough I like the rhymes in the last strophe I think it doesn't sound very melodic so would give it a 7 or 6/10, so guess overally I evaluate my poem 8/10, which is more than acceptable for me as it's my first poem in English :p
That's right! :D I believe that both songs and poetry are two different but both beautiful way that we found to express our own feelings, no matter how different and towards whom.Quote:
Most songs are just a variation of poetry
You won't have to wait much longer for my next poem :p
I think I'll try to dedicate more time to it as I finished this in 5 or 10 minutes, and it'll be sad.
Thanks again :D
Oh, that's an original and honestly very smart way of writing poetry, thanks for sharing it, I'll definetely use it in my next poem and then I'll be able to verify whether it produced good results or not :p
Yes, I'm very sure :) Unless I also write poetry while I am asleep xD
In fact, this was my first poem in English but as my last one (in portuguese) was over 6 or 7 years ago I think I can consider this to proudly be my very first one :D
Oh, so kind of you, thanks a lot for your comment! :) So be sure to read my next poem, which will be sad :p
*Grins at you and thanks* :D
^ Why you grinning?
Because I'm clapping while spinning?
Round and round and round I go
Looks cooler in slow mo.
PURE AWESOMNESS http://www.ehow.com/how_3336_write-haiku.html
Wooh, that seems really awesome, thanks a lot for making me know it :D
It definetely looks original and interesting, I'll sure give it a try. :)
---------- Post added at 11:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:58 PM ----------
Haha, you sure have your own talent for poetry as well, @Cheese the saurus Rex :D
No, I'm grinning 'cause I feel very happy
And think it's better than if I was snappy
I just haven't anything else to say
So I'll rather just tell you some random thing
As per example I'm freaking out and... bling!
@Uchiha_Luffy a sucky haiku
Uchiha luffy
Awesome forumer luffy is
Always "my friend".
tehee!
I like you too, @Grell Loves Jozette :p
Wow, I should hang my head in shame lol. I would never be able to compose something at your level lol. Love how your poem starts out happy and light-hearted but then turns melancholic. :)
My spirits will raise and be exalted
raise -> rise ?
Since every soul needs some reparing
reparing -> repairing ?
I'm not trying to nitpick, trust me. I just want to make this poem as perfect as possible~
Ooooo I lovett! *claps* You're really a very good poet, especially if that's your first try. :D
Haha, I think you could if you tried :p I agree, the first 2 strophes of the poem are clearly, it starts very cheerful but then turns melancholic, tough it has a great message of hope and self-trust on it, good analysis you made, my friend :)
Lol, of course, I thank you for that, I read this poem so many times already but failed to notice those two mistakes :p *face palm*
Awesome poem. I really love it :D
Glad you liked it, hope it can somehow contribute to improve your mood dear @すずめ :D
I have random thoughts about your poem made up out of random thoughts. If that makes any sense? :D
BUT i've already responded to it. I've read it already a few times... still like it.
Your poem is soooooooo nicely done! I really love how it rhymes, and how it relates to one specific thing.~ I would love to read more of your poems :D
I Became a fan of your works now~ :D
Hmm, it's interesting. But I have to admit, it sounds more spiritual then what I'm used to. But it does have good structure, and I can feel what you are trying to express.
That was a nice read. You should write some more :)
Somehow I started to think about this song;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0Jh0B6ghp4
Both your poem, and the song, is beautiful. ;-; *Takes out a tissue*
This is good, very uplifting :)
Yeah, I'm spiritual :p But glad you liked, thanks a lot!
Yeah, I definetely will, working on that atm :p
Thanks! :D That's one of my favourite song and I'd have to lie to say that I actually didn't inspired a bit on it :p *grinning at you*
That's my goal, to cheer you up! :p Poetry does not always have to be sad about broken hearts :p
Wow what a great poem :D And to think English isn't even your first language - that's amazing!!!