ChibiLovett
Cannibal Countess

no problem.

life's pretty up and down, always been that way. just gotta roll with it. have 50,000 gil

Thanks for adding me ^_^

aye, i did the same for a while. returned to AF and some other places pretty recently, but i don't think i'm in the right mindset for such a laid back, light-hearted forum. i don't know if i ever will be. life goes from care-free to heavy-as-elephant-tits then back again on the regular right now. like i just wanna shut myself off from people until i figure things out, if that ever happens.

hey, noticed you were online. it's been a long time. what's up?

Hi. :3 PM me soon?

Arigatou.

Oh gosh! xD Well at least she (somewhat) met a famous person? xD

well it sounds like we're both in better places. the thought of being on my own scared me too, until i was forced out of my comfort zone. now it's my top priority.

there's a girl that comes to the shelter on tuesdays that helps people get into subsidized housing. basically i'd only have to pay 30% of my paycheck, and the program the girl works for pays the deposit and first month's rent, so i'm desperately waiting to talk to her. i want my own place so bad i can taste it.

yeah i don't know my mother's specific diagnosis, but i've seen her without her meds and it's not pretty. major depression is a part of it i'm sure. and bipolar isn't the debilitating disease people make it out to be, i have a severe form and with medication i feel just fine.

yeah that's what i was asking about.

oh yeah. you know what i mean then, i don't know your dad but if he's anything like my stepdad then its definitely better that you're out. he'd always insult me, talk down about me. i'm a really small dude, 5'5" 120 pounds, and he's 6 foot and 200, so it's not like i could go off on him and hope to survive. one punch would pry hospitalize me. so i just had to bear it until the final day when he kicked me out, i told he was was an alcoholic prick and to fuck off. my mom hardly ever stuck up for me, she's got her own mental issues but it's no excuse.

i was the same way for a long time, lazy, and too comfortable where i was. it's weird, despite being in a hostile environment where my anxiety was through the roof, i wad afraid to leave cause i've never been out on my own. but now that the prospect is there i'm trying my hardest to get there.

what's up with your mom, if you don't mind me asking?

yeah well i'm actually glad it happened, my step-dad was always a royal prick to me and i have mountains less anxiety now that i'm here. when i was living there i was very shelled-in and antisocial, now i'm making friends and being friendly and generally upbeat. also, i got the job, which was a huge relief, i was stressing about not getting that call all day.

that's excellent news! how long were you looking for work before getting hired? and did your mom help you get into the second place?