kajigoddess
06-13-2010, 06:07 PM
It's been a while since I translated a song, and translating "Yakusoku" by MUCC has been surprisingly easy. However, there are a few points that confuse me a little, and I want to make sure I am translating them correctly.
This stanza is the most problematic:
限りある 明 日への記憶
サヨナラは君の腕の中
kagiriaru asu he no kioku
sayonara wa kimi no ude no naka
Towards memories of a limited tomorrow
"Goodbye" is within your skill
First of all, I am not sure of how to translate "he no," since I haven't encountered this compound before. Secondly, "ude" is normally translated as "arm" and this reading is definitely possible (since the palm of the "you's" hand is mentioned earlier). However, the "skill" reading seems to make more sense within the stanza (though it's still really awkward).
The chorus is a little confusing as well:
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
ima bokura soratataku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
I've seen "with these strong yet fragile wings" in a fansub's translation of this song; however, I'm not sure if "yet" is an appropriate comparison to make when there's only "tsuyosa" and "hakanasa" and no intervening particles. Mainly, I'm just concerned about how these two words should relate to "hane." Do they both apply to it, or should it be translated more like "with the strength of these fleeting wings?"
*
My full translation and transliteration is below, just in case there are other problems I have not noticed yet.
僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
We’ll be high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
温もりを教えてくれた
悲しみを拭ってくれた
nukumori wo oshiete kureta
kanashimi wo nugutte kureta
You taught me warmth
You wiped away my sadness
愛情は君の手のひら
滲んだ空に 未来を想った
aijou wa kimi no te no hira
nijinda sora ni mirai wo omotta
Love was the palm of your hand
In the blurred sky where I imagined the future
ここから明日へ行こう
ずっと君のそばで
あの日 僕が胸に誓った約束さ
koko kara asu he yukou
zutto kimi no soba de
ano hi boku ga mune ni chikatta yakusoku sa
From here on, let’s go towards tomorrow
I’ll always be by your side
And one day, the promise I swore on my chest will be fulfilled…
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
ima bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
限りある 明日への記憶
サヨナラは君の腕の中
kagariaru asu he no kioku
sayonara wa kimi no ude no naka
Towards memories of a limited tomorrow
“Goodbye” is within your skill
どこまで行けるだろう?
遥か遠い夜明け
深く息を止めて最後の約束 さ
doko made yukeru darou?
haruka tooi yoake
fukaku iki wo tomete saigo no yakusoku sa
Where could we go to?
A dawn far, far away?
Stop breathing deeply for the last promise
今 蒼く 陽は昇り世界染めてゆく
君よ空高く永久になれ
小さな世界でさえ光 は射すんだと
そう教えてくれたね
ima aoku hi wa nobori sekai somete yuku
kimi yo soratakaku towa ni nare
chiisana sekai de sae hikari wa sasunda to
sou oshiete kureta ne
Now the sun ascends into the world, dying it blue
“When you’re high in the sky, you must become immortal
For as long as light shines in this small world”
Or so you taught me.
ここから明日へ行ける
ずっと君のそばで
深く息を止めて最後にあり がとう
koko kara asu he yukeru
zutto kimi no soba de
fukaku iki wo tomete saigo ni arigatou
From now on, we can go towards tomorrow
I’ll always be by your side
Stop breathing deeply for the last “thank you”
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
君の泣き顔も悲しみの夜明 けも
もう見たくはないから
ima bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
kimi no nakigao mo kanashimi no yoake mo
mou mitaku wa nai kara
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
Because I don’t want to see
Your tear-stained face or the dawn of sadness anymore
This stanza is the most problematic:
限りある 明 日への記憶
サヨナラは君の腕の中
kagiriaru asu he no kioku
sayonara wa kimi no ude no naka
Towards memories of a limited tomorrow
"Goodbye" is within your skill
First of all, I am not sure of how to translate "he no," since I haven't encountered this compound before. Secondly, "ude" is normally translated as "arm" and this reading is definitely possible (since the palm of the "you's" hand is mentioned earlier). However, the "skill" reading seems to make more sense within the stanza (though it's still really awkward).
The chorus is a little confusing as well:
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
ima bokura soratataku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
I've seen "with these strong yet fragile wings" in a fansub's translation of this song; however, I'm not sure if "yet" is an appropriate comparison to make when there's only "tsuyosa" and "hakanasa" and no intervening particles. Mainly, I'm just concerned about how these two words should relate to "hane." Do they both apply to it, or should it be translated more like "with the strength of these fleeting wings?"
*
My full translation and transliteration is below, just in case there are other problems I have not noticed yet.
僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
We’ll be high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
温もりを教えてくれた
悲しみを拭ってくれた
nukumori wo oshiete kureta
kanashimi wo nugutte kureta
You taught me warmth
You wiped away my sadness
愛情は君の手のひら
滲んだ空に 未来を想った
aijou wa kimi no te no hira
nijinda sora ni mirai wo omotta
Love was the palm of your hand
In the blurred sky where I imagined the future
ここから明日へ行こう
ずっと君のそばで
あの日 僕が胸に誓った約束さ
koko kara asu he yukou
zutto kimi no soba de
ano hi boku ga mune ni chikatta yakusoku sa
From here on, let’s go towards tomorrow
I’ll always be by your side
And one day, the promise I swore on my chest will be fulfilled…
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
ima bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
限りある 明日への記憶
サヨナラは君の腕の中
kagariaru asu he no kioku
sayonara wa kimi no ude no naka
Towards memories of a limited tomorrow
“Goodbye” is within your skill
どこまで行けるだろう?
遥か遠い夜明け
深く息を止めて最後の約束 さ
doko made yukeru darou?
haruka tooi yoake
fukaku iki wo tomete saigo no yakusoku sa
Where could we go to?
A dawn far, far away?
Stop breathing deeply for the last promise
今 蒼く 陽は昇り世界染めてゆく
君よ空高く永久になれ
小さな世界でさえ光 は射すんだと
そう教えてくれたね
ima aoku hi wa nobori sekai somete yuku
kimi yo soratakaku towa ni nare
chiisana sekai de sae hikari wa sasunda to
sou oshiete kureta ne
Now the sun ascends into the world, dying it blue
“When you’re high in the sky, you must become immortal
For as long as light shines in this small world”
Or so you taught me.
ここから明日へ行ける
ずっと君のそばで
深く息を止めて最後にあり がとう
koko kara asu he yukeru
zutto kimi no soba de
fukaku iki wo tomete saigo ni arigatou
From now on, we can go towards tomorrow
I’ll always be by your side
Stop breathing deeply for the last “thank you”
今 僕等 空高く君を守ってく
強さ 儚さのこの羽で
君の泣き顔も悲しみの夜明 けも
もう見たくはないから
ima bokura soratakaku kimi wo mamotteku
tsuyosa hakanasa no kono hane de
kimi no nakigao mo kanashimi no yoake mo
mou mitaku wa nai kara
Now we’re high in the sky, and I’ll protect you
With these wings of fleeting strength
Because I don’t want to see
Your tear-stained face or the dawn of sadness anymore