Zombie Survival.

[miniPhil]

The Zombie apocalypse has occurred and you, despite whatever previous planning you may have had, have been bitten. You feel weaker and weaker as the day goes on and your wound burns leaving you in agony. You eventually pass out.
Upon awakening you notice the world is different than before. Everything has a greenish hue to it. You also feel a great hunger and to your horror you realise its for human flesh. Your disgust is soon washed away as your stomach rumbles. You let out a moan and begin to shuffle forward in search of dinner.
You are capable of basic thought, basic movement and can remember places and people of your past but all emotional attachment is gone. You cannot operate any machinery or tools and are incapable of communicating to your fellow zombies. What do you do? Where do you go? Who do you eat? How do you go about acquiring dinner?

Tl;dr U zombie! Wat do?

[Chewbaka]

Can I get specifics on how far dinner is, where I'm exactly located and what kind of weather is going on? I don't want to fail at this zombie thing.

[miniPhil]

Can I get specifics on how far dinner is, where I'm exactly located and what kind of weather is going on? I don't want to fail at this zombie thing.

Dinner could be anywhere. It all depends where you live or where you hang out most(your starting location). Weather is whatever you want. For generally purposes it wont hinder you.

[Chewbaka]

Dinner could be anywhere. It all depends where you live or where you hang out most(your starting location). Weather is whatever you want. For generally purposes it wont hinder you.

Fantastic.

Starter position: My room.
I'd start by shuffling out the door to an unsuspecting populace in my seemingly safe house. Naturally, my lifestyle beforehand will allow me to ninja my way to food, because they'll think I'm just tired. I would then bite the nearest person, who will become terrified, and then pounce to devour. Since there was a game based on a zombie, I shall absorb that games power, and throw a limb to stop the person running away. I would then pounce on the other person, and devour them. Since the need to eat will continue, I would shuffle outside and down the street 20something miles to the town next to my home and terrorize those citizens, eating and throwing limbs and whatnot.

[TheThunderBringer]

I know of a few retirement homes near enough to my house. And I know aaaaall the elementary school kids' routes back home.

[Yukiyuna]

Starter Position: The streets of some city

As I slowly get up from the ground I remember a small memory of my past-- but I dont remember the rest.
My father laying dead on the ground with zombies surrounding him. I may not feel any emotion-- but I still want the zombies who killed him dead. I slowly begin my journey by crawling up walls and all over as I look for any zombies in the abandoned city. I sight a small girl zombie who is sitting down by a trash can, eating out of it slowly. I make some weird snarl sound as I pounce on my unsuspecting prey. I quickly rip her to shreds as she makes screeching sounds before finally laying limp. Someone screams from behind me as I turn and see a teenage girl who appears to be crying after seeing such a terrifying sight. No matter how much she crys and screams-- I still am unemotionless, uncaring about anything. I pounce on her and bite her head, sinking my teeth into the flesh and sucking at her brain. Her flesh was the dinner and her brain is the desert. As I finish my meal I leave the bloody corpse behind as I continue my long quest to kill any zombies and eat any humans I see. The only emotion I feel is hatred-- hatred towards everyone and everything.

So what did you think of it? XD Hope its what ur looking for :P

[3pleT]

Wouldn't it be more interesting if I was an intelligent zombie? In that case I'd put some make-up and a lab coat to trick humans into thinking I'm a scientist who has the vaccine, so they would allow me to inject them with some kind of paralytic. It's more satisfying if they actually feel those bites, right?

[TheAsterisk!]

The Zombie apocalypse has occurred and you, despite whatever previous planning you may have had, have been bitten. You feel weaker and weaker as the day goes on and your wound burns leaving you in agony. You eventually pass out.
Upon awakening you notice the world is different than before. Everything has a greenish hue to it. You also feel a great hunger and to your horror you realise its for human flesh. Your disgust is soon washed away as your stomach rumbles. You let out a moan and begin to shuffle forward in search of dinner.
You are capable of basic thought, basic movement and can remember places and people of your past but all emotional attachment is gone. You cannot operate any machinery or tools and are incapable of communicating to your fellow zombies. What do you do? Where do you go? Who do you eat? How do you go about acquiring dinner?

Tl;dr U zombie! Wat do?
Wait- so I'm incapable of rational thought and speculative planning, but you want me to write up what I'd do? Isn't that a tad impossible?
"Imma zombie. Braaaaiiiiins!"
I suppose it'd come down to a poorly written script, honestly.

And why human flesh? What about beloved family pets? I think the dog might be drawn to my cry for braaaaiiiins, and she'd make an easy meal, naively trusting of her former master and friend.

[Diocletian]

I obviously post a thread in anime forum and ask everyone's opinion.

[Uchiha Ulquiorra]

(This is a bit hard since there are so many kinds of sombies that people have made up, lol )



One: now being so lucky as to not have been completely mauled by other zombies and only bitten. The end is only delayed be a few hours/days depending on how I choose to survive. Since I AM a zombie now, I assume that rage, hunger, and violence are the top three behaiviors.

Two: The best way to survive is to eat, eat, eat. and so on so, grouping up with other fellow zombies would be my best bet in case of not being able to find "food" I could just turn on other fallen zombies I come across fo a quick meal to keep me going until read "food" turns up.

Three: Now having found real "food" the only hope I have is getting to said food before the other zombies do.

[Crazyjavi87]

Wouldn't it be possible to eat zombie flesh after you've throughly cooked it? I mean, it's not like it'll kill you. Or turn you into a zombie after you've cooked it.

[miniPhil]

Wouldn't it be more interesting if I was an intelligent zombie?

Wait- so I'm incapable of rational thought and speculative planning, but you want me to write up what I'd do? Isn't that a tad impossible?
"Imma zombie. Braaaaiiiiins!"
I suppose it'd come down to a poorly written script, honestly.

Perhapes I should explain what I mean by 'basic thought'. Really what I ment was essentially explained in the sentences after. You can't speak and can only moan and things like computers or setting up traps a la Home Alone is not possible but you can think. You can say 'oh a lot of people might go to a hospital so I'll head there' or 'If I moan a lot maybe these other zombies will follow me and we can set up a hoard'.
That clear it up a bit?


And why human flesh? What about beloved family pets? I think the dog might be drawn to my cry for braaaaiiiins, and she'd make an easy meal, naively trusting of her former master and friend. Cus that would just remove a lot of tension for the humies. Gotta keep em busy.

[Eris]

Dunno. What's wrong with shuffling aimlessly and requesting brains?

[TheAsterisk!]

Perhapes I should explain what I mean by 'basic thought'. Really what I ment was essentially explained in the sentences after. You can't speak and can only moan and things like computers or setting up traps a la Home Alone is not possible but you can think. You can say 'oh a lot of people might go to a hospital so I'll head there' or 'If I moan a lot maybe these other zombies will follow me and we can set up a hoard'.
That clear it up a bit?
A little bit.
Does the human flesh have to be fresh? Do I feel some kind of primal zombie urge to kill it myself, or is scavenging others' kills okay?
Either way, I suppose I'd start with the pawn shop about two miles from my house, perhaps selecting targets of opportunity along the way, if any present themselves.

Cus that would just remove a lot of tension for the humies. Gotta keep em busy.
As I pointed out in my EDIT comment, not if audiences' reactions to Bambi are any indication. A zombie devouring man's best friend would surely haunt them.

Why can't I eat other zombies, though? If they're the "Oh no! A zombie virus!" zombies, then they're technically still human, so I could get some flesh and double my zombie-ness up by ingesting the diseased meat all in one step. Wouldn't that be grand?!

[Chewbaka]

Dunno. What's wrong with shuffling aimlessly and requesting brains?

Requesting gets you shot with a shotgun. There must be action taken for getting what you need!

[Eris]

Requesting gets you shot with a shotgun. There must be action taken for getting what you need!

Not necessarily. It's a serious waste of ammunition to shoot every zombie you see. Ignoring apparently harmless zombies is pretty much required, unless you can manufacture ammunition.

[miniPhil]

A little bit.
Does the human flesh have to be fresh? Do I feel some kind of primal zombie urge to kill it myself, or is scavenging others' kills okay?
Either way, I suppose I'd start with the pawn shop about two miles from my house, perhaps selecting targets of opportunity along the way, if any present themselves.

As I pointed out in my EDIT comment, not if audiences' reactions to Bambi is any indication. A zombie devouring man's best friend would surely haunt them.

Why can't I eat other zombies, though? If they're the "Oh no! A zombie virus!" zombies, then they're technically still human, so I could get some flesh and double my zombie-ness up by ingesting the diseased meat all in one step. Wouldn't that be grand?!

Sorry I didn't see your edit. I suppose it would be quite horrifying wouldn't it? Alright animals are allowed but this isn't a vegetarian type deal you must still eat humans. Eating other zombies is a no though. I know were zombies now and all but you have to have some standards!
As for your newest edit reason, I seriously hope thats what Super Mario Galaxy 2 is about.

[Chewbaka]

Not necessarily. It's a serious waste of ammunition to shoot every zombie you see. Ignoring apparently harmless zombies is pretty much required, unless you can manufacture ammunition.

True, but any zombie asking a human for brains does need to get shot, unless they're moving too slow, in which case you can just walk a little faster to get away from. Point being, stealth attacks instead of upfront asking gets possibly better results from this scenario.

[Eris]

How about this approach?

http://eris.name/zombiehat.png

[miniPhil]

How about this approach?
Fraid not Eris, that constitutes as talking. Monocle and top hat are ok though.

[Chewbaka]

How about this approach?

Does being sophisticated like that count as basic thought? If so, then I do believe that also works. I do however classify that as a sneak attack, since the human didn't suspect the zombie doing that.

[Eris]

Fraid not Eris, that constitutes as talking. Monocle and top hat are ok though.

Dunno. What if you're instinctively acting like a Victorian gentleman?

[miniPhil]

Dunno. What if you're instinctively acting like a Victorian gentleman?

Hand gestures are fine too as are any other poses you feel can help along your disguise. But only moaning or mentioning brains. You can end your moan on a higher pitch if you wish to sound more posh.

[Chewbaka]

Hand gestures are fine too as are any other poses you feel can help along your disguise. But only moaning or mentioning brains. You can end your moan on a higher pitch if you wish to sound more posh.
Could you theoretically make your moans sound like words? If so, then pulling off the Victorian Gentleman disguise could work out.

[miniPhil]

Could you theoretically make your moans sound like words? If so, then pulling off the Victorian Gentleman disguise could work out.

No no no, consonants are simply not allowed. Except of course b, r, n and s and you can only use those if they are in that order with an 'AAYYYYYY' after the b and the r.

[Chewbaka]

No no no, consonants are simply not allowed. Except of course b, r, n and s and you can only use those if they are in that order with an 'AAYYYYYY' after the b and the r.Now you're just limiting the possibilities of being a very sophisticated and fun zombie. In this case though, saying nothing with the top hat and monacle could also prove as the perfect disguise. The person would walk up after multiple hello's to see if the person is ok, and then the zombie would pounce.

[Eris]

Screw being a zombie. I'm being a ninja instead. Slicing up zombies and the living alike.

[Chewbaka]

Screw being a zombie. I'm being a ninja instead. Slicing up zombies and the living alike.

Ok, since that's how you want to play. I'm going to be a bystander, just watching it. Another possibility is for me to be a cyborg with a plasma cannon arm.

[TheAsterisk!]

Screw being a zombie. I'm being a ninja instead. Slicing up zombies and the living alike.
How about a zombie ninja? Best of both worlds- dead and living, that is.


I obviously post a thread in anime forum and ask everyone's opinion.
[sucks air through teeth] I dunno. That might be what the blogs are for.


Watch out for zombie moderators, by the way- and one zombie ninja moderator.



Sorry I didn't see your edit. I suppose it would be quite horrifying wouldn't it? Alright animals are allowed but this isn't a vegetarian type deal you must still eat humans.
Boy, am I glad that's been cleared up! [munch, yip]

Eating other zombies is a no though. I know were zombies now and all but you have to have some standards!
But that eliminates my competition- not to mention the aforementioned doubling of my zombie-ness!

[Aku no Hikari]

"Braaaaaiiiiiins.... football... hide... airplane... go to... world cup... stadium... eat... players... mmm....."

[TheThunderBringer]

Woh woh woh woh woh...are we RUNNING zombies, or can we just shuffle?

[Chewbaka]

You can do both I believe. I'm pretty sure it's not discriminate like that. Of course I could be wrong here.

Just sayin'

[Yukiyuna]

Lol. What is this thread about again?

[Chewbaka]

Lol. What is this thread about again?

You being a zombie, and how you'd feed on people with only the most basic of brain functions. It's that awesome.

[Aku no Hikari]

You being a zombie, and how you'd feed on people with only the most basic of brain functions. It's that awesome.

Brrraaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnn.........

[Chewbaka]

Brrraaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnn.........

Yeah, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle and put your hands on the top of the car.

[Eris]

Yeah, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle and put your hands on the top of the car.

Are there braaaaaiiiinnnnssss on top of the car?

[Chewbaka]

Are there braaaaaiiiinnnnssss on top of the car?

There possibly is. Just step out of the car please. I need to search it for any zombie contraband.

[TheAsterisk!]

There possibly is. Just step out of the car please. I need to search it for any zombie contraband.
What reason have you to suspect that I- BRAAAIIIINS!!!!- am a zombie?
Fascist. I know my rights.
I consent to- BRAAAIIIINS!!!!- no searches.

[Chewbaka]

What reason have you to suspect that I- BRAAAIIIINS!!!!- am a zombie?
Fascist. I know my rights.
I consent to- BRAAAIIIINS!!!!- no searches.

I have no reason to suspect. I'm just doing my job. Now please step out, before I use a taser on you for no reason.

[Yukiyuna]

BRAINZZZZZZ

[Chewbaka]

Ok, I'm going to have to call for backup on this one. Let me just walk to my car, unsuspecting of things behind me...

[TheAsterisk!]

I have no reason to suspect. I'm just doing my job. Now please step out, before I use a taser on you for no reason.
Xzkd_m4ivmc

[Chewbaka]

Xzkd_m4ivmc

Fine, I'll just shoot you and say you went for your zombie gun. >_>;

[Crazyjavi87]

What if the person asking for said brains happens to be a scientist looking for living brains in order make his super-anti zombie weapon and take over the world?

[Chewbaka]

What if the person asking for said brains happens to be a scientist looking for living brains in order make his super-anti zombie weapon and take over the world?

I would knife him. Plain and simple. Zombies are people too, just dead ones. I'm possibly going to bias them to being criminals, just for this thread though. We'll see...

[TheAsterisk!]

Fine, I'll just shoot you and say you went for your zombie gun. >_>;

Ok, I'm going to have to call for backup on this one. Let me just walk to my car, unsuspecting of things behind me...
And... You're toast. Look behind you.
http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/zz5973cdf8.jpg
See, you made the assumption that absent speech we zombies could not coordinate and hunt as a group, but all those brains we ate gave us telepathic powers. In fact, that's how you can perceive my meaning so clearly, though I can only speak of braaaaiiiins and gurgle unintelligibly.

My brethren surround you. There is no escape.
We will have your head, patrolman. And the tasty, gooey brains within, of course.

[Chewbaka]

And... You're toast. Look behind you.
http://www.buyzombie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/the-horde-shirt-300x285.gif
See, you made the assumption that absent speech we zombies could not coordinate and hunt as a group, but all those brains we ate gave us telepathic powers. In fact, that's how you can perceive my meaning so clearly, though I can only speak of braaaaiiiins and gurgle unintelligibly.

My brethren surround you. There is no escape.
We will have your head. And the tasty, gooey brains within, of course.
Ahh, but who said I didn't have a plan in case of this? Who says I haven't got a bomb with me and am willing to suicide bomb your groups' face off?

Just sayin'

On a related note, I do like how they somehow related zombies with sharks on that Windows commercial. +1 to Windows

[TheAsterisk!]

Ahh, but who said I didn't have a plan in case of this? Who says I haven't got a bomb with me and am willing to suicide bomb your groups' face off?
We'd have read it in your mind. We're telepathic. Coulda swonr I just told you that.

Unless...

Oh, God! The cop is telepathic, too!
Run, fellow zombies! RUN!

[Chewbaka]

We'd have read it in your mind. We're telepathic.

Unless...

Oh, God! The cop is telepathic!
Run, fellow zombies! RUN!

That's right, I am, because in the 4th post in this thread, I stated my zombie activites. Therefore, I was a zombie from the start.

Booyah.

[TheAsterisk!]

That's right, I am, because in the 4th post in this thread, I stated my zombie activites. Therefore, I was a zombie from the start.

Booyah.
Ah!
But, as the OP stated in additional restrictions, zombies have standards and will not eat other zombies.
That means, at best, you are bluffing, hollering in public just to make a scene for the other zombies.
At worst, you are killing without cause. In that case, a zombie-citizen's arrest is in order. You endanger the zombie-public's safety, and must be dealt with accordingly.

[Chewbaka]

Ah!
But, as the OP stated in additional restrictions, zombies have standards and will not eat other zombies.
That means, at best, you are bluffing, hollering in public just to make a scene for the other zombies.
At worst, you are killing without cause. In that case, a zombie-citizen's arrest is in order. You endanger the zombie-public's safety, and must be dealt with accordingly.

To counter that, I stated that I never ate another zombie, but humans. I wouldn't harm my zombie brothers, because as you have also stated, zombies have standards. Also, the bomb is a distraction for me to sneak off. You might be saying, how is that possible? I'll say that it's a hologram producing one, that helped me escape.

I'll call it a tie.

[TheAsterisk!]

I'll call it a tie.
You are a shrewd one.
Zombie-law demands zombie-justice, but you bargain skillfully.


Your move, holy man.
This is not some turn-based RPG for a handheld- this is serious business!

[Crazyjavi87]

At least your not in Canada. If you were, you'd have to face the most fearful thing in the face of man.

http://lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/bears-with-guns.jpeg

[TheAsterisk!]

@Crazyjavi87: The Canadians have those too, now? I mean, I knew the Soviets had a few back in the day, but... damn.
Who sold the Canadians such destructive weapons? Or were they fool enough to develop them in-house?

Don't they know- the fools- what raw power, what fury of nature they're toying with?!

[Crazyjavi87]

They gave the technology when the Soviets started moving here. And who said we're toying?

The bears came u to our top scientists, all but 3, and said 'give us guns.'

The bears spoke. Therefore, feeling threatened, they gave them guns. They're now our fire, last, and most bear filled line of defense.

[Chewbaka]

You are a shrewd one.
Zombie-law demands zombie-justice, but you bargain skillfully.


This is not some turn-based RPG for a handheld- this is serious business!

Who says it isn't serious business?

[Aku no Hikari]

This image suggests that female victims have higher quality brains than male ones:

http://winewriter.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/the-male-brain.jpg

[Chewbaka]

This image suggests that female victims have higher quality brains than male ones

Cheater. Trying to make us target women. I'm an equal opportunity eater. >/

[Crazyjavi87]

Braaaaaaaaaaiinnnnsss
*attempts to eat a nearby mailbox*
metttaaalllllbawkssseessss....no braaaaaaaainnnsss..*continues shuffling away*

[Aku no Hikari]

Cheater. Trying to make us target women.

Nope. "Higher quality" doesn't mean their taste will be any different. I posted this to show you why we shouldn't eat women's brains. ;)

I mean come on! The world cup season is on. We can eat a few hundred famous football players' brains and no one will notice...

[3pleT]

Perhapes I should explain what I mean by 'basic thought'. Really what I ment was essentially explained in the sentences after. You can't speak and can only moan and things like computers or setting up traps a la Home Alone is not possible but you can think. You can say 'oh a lot of people might go to a hospital so I'll head there' or 'If I moan a lot maybe these other zombies will follow me and we can set up a hoard'.
That clear it up a bit?
So, I can find some zombie with a huge beard, dress him up in some dirty old clothes and get him drunk, so he can make a diversion by getting humans to think he's just some homeless guy, allowing the rest of us to set up an ambush?

[miniPhil]

So, I can find some zombie with a huge beard, dress him up in some dirty old clothes and get him drunk, so he can make a diversion by getting humans to think he's just some homeless guy, allowing the rest of us to set up an ambush?

Well not drunk. Alcohol implies using a bottle opener of some kind which goes under tool. Also not sure how well alcohol effects zombies. With all them brains they eat I'm sure they have a good tolerance.
But in theory yes. You couldn't communicate with him though so I'm not sure how you'll get him to follow your plan or even understand it.

[3pleT]

Well not drunk. Alcohol implies using a bottle opener of some kind which goes under tool. Also not sure how well alcohol effects zombies. With all them brains they eat I'm sure they have a good tolerance.
I eat the pig brains, yet I knew a pig who could solve math problems with about the same efficiency before and after 10 shots of vodka, which does not apply to me even now that I devoured it. Also, who needs a bottle opener when you are perfectly capable of smashing?

But in theory yes. You couldn't communicate with him though so I'm not sure how you'll get him to follow your plan or even understand it.
No need. All he needs to do is what he most likely did as a human: drink. Then I just put him where I want him to be and get the rest of the crew to follow me.

Of course, it would probably be easier to just run and break stuff, but the fact that something's easier is never enough to make me do it.

[-GAZKUL-]

Get the guns, chainsaws, bows, machetes etc into car and go and break some heads

[Mr. Panda]

I'd so go after my ex-girlfriend first.

[TheAsterisk!]

You couldn't communicate with him though so I'm not sure how you'll get him to follow your plan or even understand it.
The current stable release of Zombies is version 1.4.13, but we plan to introduce the telepathy feature (see above) by Zombies 2.0. That should ease things greatly.

[Flah Blah]

Screw this, I'm being a Nazi zombie (http://www.stardusttrailers.com/gallery_film/%28220409210806%29Dod_sno_1.jpg).

[Chewbaka]

Screw this, I'm being a Nazi zombie (http://www.stardusttrailers.com/gallery_film/%28220409210806%29Dod_sno_1.jpg).

You know this means I have to shoot you in the face for points, right?

[The Rebel]

I head towards the creater of this thread, and corner her and start attacking. Once she is rendered unconscious, I start eatting. Saving the brains for dessert of course. And this is all because of the simple fact I know it was her that caused me to become a zombie.

[chaotic.rune]

go to my school and eat the principal's brains, then the biology teacher's, then the music teacher's, then the art teacher's, then randomly attack hospitals.

[TheAsterisk!]

Screw this, I'm being a Nazi zombie (http://www.stardusttrailers.com/gallery_film/%28220409210806%29Dod_sno_1.jpg).
I seem to recall one of the later Dragon Ball Z movies having a Zombie Hitler (basically, all Hell broke loose in a literal sense), except they replaced the swastika with a red X and his little uniform was purple. It was spectacular.

Yup. 1m0kzV8QucI