Nyleo
02-19-2010, 08:52 PM
[I apologize for the long wall of text!]
Ever since I was young, I was always told and encouraged to become a doctor. And at an earlier point of my life, I did as well. That all changed when I had turned thirteen. Ever since I turned thirteen, my heart completely told me what I wanted to do when I was older. That was to become a performer (dancing and singing/rapping). To be honest, my entire life growing up, I never was truly certain on what to do, until I saw my idol, G-Dragon. Since I was ten, I had always loved music. Right now, I'm turning seventeen in a few months.
When I entered 8Th grade, dancing was my passion (from popping to cwalking, from tutting to krumping, you name it!). At the same time in 8Th grade was when I discovered G-Dragon (Leader of Big Bang). I can feel his heart on stage, I knew he loved what he did. I began listening to Big Bang's song more often. I would practice G-Dragon and T.O.P's (another member who raps as well) rap verses, I still do. Now, everyday I would imagine a life doing so, being leader G-Dragon. Performing on stage, dancing and rapping. How good life would be to sing your heart out?
But.
In my heart, I know that my parent would entirely hate me if I chose to do that and dishonor their wishes. They already have doubt that I can become a doctor though my average is a 95% as a sophomore. The reason? I received a B- in Geometry, the rest of my grades were 92+ (most being in the 95+). So as of now, I try everyday to make my grades my life. It's hard. It really angers me though, I try so hard in school yet my parent doubt me and think that I won't be able to finish school because I'm not intelligent enough. I only want right now is to please my parents and show them that I do have what it takes to become a doctor. However, that's not what I want to do.
I just want to perform on stage, at concerts. Though I'm almost certain that this want of mine, will fade as a dream. Because though this is what I truly want to be, my rapping, as well as singing, is mediocre. Though I practice everyday. The only thing I'm good at is dancing, but whenever I watch G-Dragon performs, my heart yearns for that.
I really don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I follow my dream to become a performer like my idol, I won't even make pass audition and then I'll lose time to become a doctor. And if I pursue my parent's dreams, then there's most-likely a chance I'd be unhappy in the future. Help. Again, if it helps, I'm turning 17 soon.
Ever since I was young, I was always told and encouraged to become a doctor. And at an earlier point of my life, I did as well. That all changed when I had turned thirteen. Ever since I turned thirteen, my heart completely told me what I wanted to do when I was older. That was to become a performer (dancing and singing/rapping). To be honest, my entire life growing up, I never was truly certain on what to do, until I saw my idol, G-Dragon. Since I was ten, I had always loved music. Right now, I'm turning seventeen in a few months.
When I entered 8Th grade, dancing was my passion (from popping to cwalking, from tutting to krumping, you name it!). At the same time in 8Th grade was when I discovered G-Dragon (Leader of Big Bang). I can feel his heart on stage, I knew he loved what he did. I began listening to Big Bang's song more often. I would practice G-Dragon and T.O.P's (another member who raps as well) rap verses, I still do. Now, everyday I would imagine a life doing so, being leader G-Dragon. Performing on stage, dancing and rapping. How good life would be to sing your heart out?
But.
In my heart, I know that my parent would entirely hate me if I chose to do that and dishonor their wishes. They already have doubt that I can become a doctor though my average is a 95% as a sophomore. The reason? I received a B- in Geometry, the rest of my grades were 92+ (most being in the 95+). So as of now, I try everyday to make my grades my life. It's hard. It really angers me though, I try so hard in school yet my parent doubt me and think that I won't be able to finish school because I'm not intelligent enough. I only want right now is to please my parents and show them that I do have what it takes to become a doctor. However, that's not what I want to do.
I just want to perform on stage, at concerts. Though I'm almost certain that this want of mine, will fade as a dream. Because though this is what I truly want to be, my rapping, as well as singing, is mediocre. Though I practice everyday. The only thing I'm good at is dancing, but whenever I watch G-Dragon performs, my heart yearns for that.
I really don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I follow my dream to become a performer like my idol, I won't even make pass audition and then I'll lose time to become a doctor. And if I pursue my parent's dreams, then there's most-likely a chance I'd be unhappy in the future. Help. Again, if it helps, I'm turning 17 soon.