View Full Version : Gundam SEED Destiny - Primal Innocence

11-17-2009, 01:55 PM

これ以上、なくしたくない 絆と云う僕らの証しを
傷付け合って彷徨える 永遠の行方をこの手で誘おう

>Above it all, we can't lose the evidence of our bond
>You're wounded and wandering, for eternity you will be welcomed by my hand

I don't want to lose any more of the proof of the bonds between us
Hurting each other, wandering, I'll beckon to Eternity with my own hands

これ以上 isn't "above all" but "more than this", and the verb form of なくしたくない specifically indicates that the singer doesn't want to lose the evidence/proof, not that he can't. The 合って of 傷付け合って means that they're hurting each other, not that just one of them is hurt. 永遠の行方 is the subject, not an adverb phrase.

幾つもの時代を 見守ってる
何時もと変わらぬ 星達は
僕らが明日に 迷わないように

>Watching as things age in this era
>A star's origin is unchangeable
>My tomorrow won't be so hard
>It will continue to shine

The unchanging stars
That have watched over countless eras
Continue to shine on us
So that we won't lose our way tomorrow

幾つもの時代 is "countless eras," not "this era", and I don't know where the translator is getting "age" from. Nor do I know where they're getting "origin" in the second line, and 星達 is plural. 迷わない is "won't get lost," not "won't be hard." Overall, the current translator has done the stanza line-by-line rather than recognizing the whole thing as a single sentence.

人の優しさに 触れる度に
目の前のモノが 総てなんだと
思い知らされ 立ちくらむ

>However, I will continue to walk about
>A person's kindness touches into this journey
>Before my eyes, it all becomes the
>Thoughts about the message as I stand here

But as much as I continue walking
When I'm touched by someone's kindness
I realize that what's in front of me is all there is
And that realization is dizzying

Current translation misses the 程に in the first line. The translator has also mistaken the "たび" meaning "when" for the "たび" meaning "journey" (which is a mistake I used to make a lot, though I'd think it'd be harder to mess that up when you're given the kanji...). 思い知らされ and 立ちくらむ have been completely misinterpreted, and somehow "message" has been added in.

I think that's enough. My translation is attached.