Worried.

[.Kuro]

First of all, I don't know if this ever happened to you, people. I'll tell you my case:

It's been nearly two months since I've left Spain in search of a better future in the US. It's somehow bothering that almost all of the people I call "friends" don't even write a comment on Facebook or Fotolog...a few persons have but only one person has actually been writing me e-mails ,which happens to be the girl who I "admire" (It would sound very girly if I put it in another way) and also my best friend. For about two weeks I have known nothing from her. Nothing. Nada. Zero. She's a busy woman and I can understand the situation. She leaves from her house at 7 AM and returns at 9 PM. On weekends she'd go partying and relax a little...but she almost never goes online. Before summer was over, she constantly wrote me and I've always answered back. And it ceased.

I've decided to take action: I'll call her up, no matter the time difference or the consequences. To tell the truth, I don't know if she'd be happy to hear me or, more importantly,if she'd be happy to know that I care for her.

What would you do, people?

Wish me luck, I'll report the consequences tomorrow.

Kuro

[OminousCloud]

Yeah, I'd call them. It's a two way street, one of you has to put in the effort...

Btw; This belongs in a blog?

[DOOM!]

My contacts in Spain don't always have access to immediate internet, plus, a home connection is very expensive there. We both acknowledge this, so we send each other a message or drop a call once every three-four months, or once a year.
You're over-reacting.

[.Kuro]

Yeah, I'd call them. It's a two way street, one of you has to put in the effort...

Btw; This belongs in a blog?

I supose you're right. Even so, I'm having a hard time around here.These so called "friends" should understand it.

Yeah,this should belong to a blog but I don't have one. ^^*

And as for:
My contacts in Spain don't always have access to immediate internet, plus, a home connection is very expensive there. We both acknowledge this, so we send each other a message or drop a call once every three-four months, or once a year.

You're over-reacting.


I don't know what you mean by contacts, but I've been living in Spain my whole life and I used to hang out with these people very often. Everyone that I know there has a reliable internet connection and I may be over-reacting...how'd you feel if your beloved friends forget about you?

[DOOM!]

I don't know what you mean by contacts, but I've been living in Spain my whole life and I used to hang out with these people very often. Everyone that I know there has a reliable internet connection and I may be over-reacting...how'd you feel if your beloved friends forget about you?

I'd forget about them in return. Because there is no You, there's only Me. I just made you up to amuse myself.

[aishiteru333]

I had been living in this one (undisclosed location) for 12 years of my life and gone to the same school since kindergarten. No one has contacted me or tried to find out why I disappeared.
Everyone moves on with their own life. They stop being interested, and forget about you eventually.
I'm sorry but it's the tough reality.
As for the moment being, they're probably busy with school. Ya know?

[.Kuro]

I had been living in this one (undisclosed location) for 12 years of my life and gone to the same school since kindergarten. No one has contacted me or tried to find out why I disappeared.
Everyone moves on with their own life. They stop being interested, and forget about you eventually.
I'm sorry but it's the tough reality.
As for the moment being, they're probably busy with school. Ya know?


Well,these people have been with me since the last day I was there...even one of them payed me a visit in San Francisco. Life keeps on going but it is hard to let go from some people...and I know that only the ones who care for me will be waiting.

[RaShayRitto]

honestly i'd man up and stop crying about it. here you are going "they should KNOW i'm having a hard time so they are obligated to blah blah blah" pffft! if you need them then YOU make the call. or here's a nutty idea, connect with people currently around you.

tough love man, you gotta grow up. to say that they're lesser friends now just because they dont keep constant tabs on you reflects worse on you than it does them

[.Kuro]

honestly i'd man up and stop crying about it. here you are going "they should KNOW i'm having a hard time so they are obligated to blah blah blah" pffft! if you need them then YOU make the call. or here's a nutty idea, connect with people currently around you.

tough love man, you gotta grow up. to say that they're lesser friends now just because they dont keep constant tabs on you reflects worse on you than it does them

Yup, am I that horrible? Things aren't what they seem...
Yeah, you know what's funny about this? I came here to do what you're telling me: to grow up, be more mature...and maybe all I need is a slap in the face. Thanks for beeing honest.

[Lavos]

Most women are fickle. Most will just drop contact out nowhere. And they will never tell you why either.

[gaburieru]

First of all, I don't know if this ever happened to you, people. I'll tell you my case:

It's been nearly two months since I've left Spain in search of a better future in the US. It's somehow bothering that almost all of the people I call "friends" don't even write a comment on Facebook or Fotolog...a few persons have but only one person has actually been writing me e-mails ,which happens to be the girl who I "admire" (It would sound very girly if I put it in another way) and also my best friend. For about two weeks I have known nothing from her. Nothing. Nada. Zero. She's a busy woman and I can understand the situation. She leaves from her house at 7 AM and returns at 9 PM. On weekends she'd go partying and relax a little...but she almost never goes online. Before summer was over, she constantly wrote me and I've always answered back. And it ceased.

I've decided to take action: I'll call her up, no matter the time difference or the consequences. To tell the truth, I don't know if she'd be happy to hear me or, more importantly,if she'd be happy to know that I care for her.

What would you do, people?

Wish me luck, I'll report the consequences tomorrow.

Kuro




Why dont you just go out partying with her?

[Megamind's Minion]

Most women are fickle. Most will just drop contact out nowhere. And they will never tell you why either.


not all, ,
i happen to exert effort to contact friends who are left behind or leave me behind...

and women, fickle-minded as we are knows when and where to end the friendship...

and as for you...

maybe, she felt that with her pulling you back to Spain will not make you grow...
so, she decided to drop you so that you'll learn to survive on your own,...

[ZenErik]

Good luck. :)

[lilminx]

well its happened to me before. its not that they forgot about you, its just that they dont have time or just forget sometimes. im suer if you would write an email to them or her, you would get an answer. but somebody has to put in an effort in order for it to work.otherwise, best of luck ^^

[Eris]

I assume you haven't been writing on their facebook walls / whatnot, either, since relationships require maintenance, or they'll wither away like plants that aren't watered properly.

[DOOM!]

Reject social networking like Facebook and the likes weren't even worth the -100 Mana Points you put for that cheap poetry.

[None of the above]

Skype, msn, AIM, Yahoo, ICQ or whatever else there is out there!
Myspace, Facebook, or just a regular call!

Damn it. There are so many ways to contact someone these days. Also...
I would suggest writing a nice long letter or send a simple postcard. Everyone enjoys those. Since they are a proof that you have thought about them and actually took time to get paper/a postcard and sat down at your desk in order to write for the sole purpose to keep contact.

Just DO SOMETHING.

[Aizen-sama]

hmm maybe since school days she busy during the week but if she goes partying on the weekend yea she can call you or at least get online a min and write you something

But maybe it struck her that since your not there physically that she is sad that she cant have that "connection" with you anymore,like you guys ant go to the same places and do the sam things together ,she probably just misses you so much and doesnt want to hold on to something thats hurtful,i hope it goes well

[Anime-Prince]

Yup, I'm horrible, am I? Things aren't what they seem...
Yeah, you know what's funny about this? I came here to do what you're telling me: to grow up, be more mature...and maybe all I need is a slap in the face. Thanks for beeing honest.

You do NOT need a slap in the face. Your just a sensitive person. That's not a crime and not something to be ashamed of. You have compassion and noble intentions. At the end of the day how you go about this will be your way not someone else's. Your not here to be taught 'tough love' by some stranger over the internet. If your here for support that's different.

In which case I offer you this..

Best of luck to you. I hope things work out. I have respect for you and your choice.

Keep holding up man.

[RexCars]

It's hard sometimes, I know.

But a little aggressiveness will go a long way. Call her up and say you miss her company and would like to take her out. If she says 'no', at least you know where you stand. If she says 'yes', you automatically made your intentions known, and you achieved the outcome you've been wallowing over. The end-state of such blatant honesty, whether pleasant or depressing, is your own peace of mind on the issue.

And there's nothing more important than that.

[aishiteru333]

Well,these people have been with me since the last day I was there...even one of them payed me a visit in San Francisco. Life keeps on going but it is hard to let go from some people...and I know that only the ones who care for me will be waiting.


I don't think I understand what you wrote. Well, anyways, at least one of them visited you. I haven't even got smoke signals from these other people!!! XD
I wish you luck!

[Gero50]

Well I don't think there is much to honestly be worried about. If you say these people are your friends and you knew them well at some point they wont forget you. I know a similar case with one of mine and we're still friends all the same. If you really want to reconnect with these people try finding them online like you did and also the phone book. However you in particular might want a international one cause of other country boundaries. With that said using an online phone book might even be a better option you have. Anyway i hope this helps. ^_^

[RaShayRitto]

You do NOT need a slap in the face. Your just a sensitive person. That's not a crime and not something to be ashamed of. You have compassion and noble intentions. At the end of the day how you go about this will be your way not someone else's. Your not here to be taught 'tough love' by some stranger over the internet. If your here for support that's different.

In which case I offer you this..

Best of luck to you. I hope things work out. I have respect for you and your choice.

Keep holding up man.

actually, no. If all this thead required was for people to wish him luck then this would have been closed by a mod with the message "belongs in blog" or something similar. I have an opinion on how to deal with the situation (imagine that!), and i offered an alternate point of view. even if he chooses not to follow it, he has food for thought from outside parties--which is what he asked for in the OP

try again

[.Kuro]

Wow...really, I never imagined this thread would be a THAT controversial. And the variety of opinions amuzes me. I really didn't write this thread to show off in front of people who's faces I'll never see, neither to ask for luck, even so, I appreciate those of you who encourage me in beeing stronger and I'm also thankful to those who help me see how things work in this world. I'd really like to answer individualy to all of you, but I don't have time to do so.

To pein/nagato-dono:

I liked the way you built up the situation even not knowing the details of our friendship. I'll only tell you that she's 3 years older than me, she knows that I like her (I told her myself) and that she promised me that we'll remember old times when my journey is over.

We worked at the same office and we would pass notes and play Battleship while we were working (In case anyone is wondering, I was a Phone Surveyor and there were countless ours in wich nobody answered the phone ;) ). I sure miss her and I'd dare say that this feeling is reciprocal.

Anime-Prince:

I don't really need kind words from anybody but I'll take them anyway. You've really seen me through my words, eh? Thanks.

Rex Cars:

It's hard when you're away from what used to be your life. And as I said before, she knows my feelings and ,when I told her, she kinda gave me some hope.I don't know why'd she do that...it's hard to understand women.

Sometimes I wish to stay as a child but I also wish to be a responsible and strong man (Hahaha). When I get back there I'll take her out for dinner as friends. I don't want to rush things up since I'll leave the country in less than a month.

RaShayRitto made a good point in his last post...what I'm expecting are mostly opinions of any one who reads this thread.

[reikalee]

Just go for it. Nothing will happen if you sit still. :)

[Cobra Commander]

Go for it if it's important to you. I've tracked down old friends, and we chat once in a while online. But friends change, people change. I, for one, am freakin' terrible at keeping in touch with people. Facebook and texting have helped with that, but you'd have to hold a gun to my head to get me to sit down and write a letter.

I have friends across the country. I don't talk to them often, but they're still friends. We're all just bad at keeping in touch.

[Anime-Prince]

actually, no. If all this thead required was for people to wish him luck then this would have been closed by a mod with the message "belongs in blog" or something similar. I have an opinion on how to deal with the situation (imagine that!), and i offered an alternate point of view. even if he chooses not to follow it, he has food for thought from outside parties--which is what he asked for in the OP

try again

I never said it was a thread to 'wish him luck', that's just what I chose to do on it. I actually said if he was looking for 'support' Which we both know can be anything. However I said I didn't think he came onto anime forum looking to be taught 'tough love' and to 'man up' and I was actually replying to Yoshimitzu's post not your own.

You seem to think this was about your post.. You have no reason to defend your opinion to me. It really doesn't bother me. :-)

[RaShayRitto]

Go for it if it's important to you. I've tracked down old friends, and we chat once in a while online. But friends change, people change. I, for one, am freakin' terrible at keeping in touch with people. Facebook and texting have helped with that, but you'd have to hold a gun to my head to get me to sit down and write a letter.

I have friends across the country. I don't talk to them often, but they're still friends. We're all just bad at keeping in touch.

heck i have friends in the same neighborhood that i only talk to a few times a year now. we go to different universities and stuff but we'll see each other once in a blue moon.

[Lavos]

not all, ,
i happen to exert effort to contact friends who are left behind or leave me behind...

Just means at that moment you deem that there is something for you to gain by contacting them.

[RaShayRitto]

@lavos: LMAO women have hurt you bad huh? XD

[Zedekiah]

@lavos: LMAO women have hurt you bad huh? XD

And if they did, you find that to be a proper way of putting it?

As for the topic, like aforementioned, have you been able to tell whether or not said friends are too busy to be able to pay attention to the time-zone difference and/or regular contact? While you might have been and might still be "bestest" of friends, reality doesn't always let it evolve in the ideal manner. Even less so when distance becomes that great. I oft have issues keeping up with peeps in the same Time Zone but different country, but that's me, I suppose.

[.Kuro]

And if they did, you find that to be a proper way of putting it?



As for the topic, like aforementioned, have you been able to tell whether or not said friends are too busy to be able to pay attention to the time-zone difference and/or regular contact? While you might have been and might still be "bestest" of friends, reality doesn't always let it evolve in the ideal manner. Even less so when distance becomes that great. I oft have issues keeping up with peeps in the same Time Zone but different country, but that's me, I suppose.



I don't consider that I'm the bestest of friends, in any case I might be the worst because I'm doubting my friendship with these people...someone who replied this thread said that either one or another should do something to keep contact...I'd dare say that some (most) of wouldn't write me even if I appeared online. I'm always the one who takes the first step.



The time difference is not a big deal, some of them could be somehow busy, others goof around living in there little world. And maybe the fact that I'm not around changes things a lot. Our group consisted in 10 girls and 2 guys, myself included. Now there's only a guy in the group since I left and that changes how things are done.



Last issue: those who are saying that I've been dropped by this girl are missing the point. I was the one who decided to leave and the truth is that I did it because of her. I couldn't just stay as a child, I just want to be a better man.



She won't forget me. I believe in her. We already discused what is the true meaning of a friend. And she considers me as one and I also consider her as my best friend. She sent me an E-mail not long ago and she's ok, just busy with her university studies. 52 days to go back to Spain...

[iceandroid]

She won't forget me

then don't call her and leave her alone.


btw, if ur friends are not answering u or visiting ur facebook pofile, think of your behaviour, maybe smth's wrong with you

[.Kuro]

then don't call her and leave her alone.


btw, if ur friends are not answering u or visiting ur facebook pofile, think of your behaviour, maybe smth's wrong with you

Mind you, why'd I leave her alone? I was just worried, that's why I was gonna call her (I did twice, but she wasn't in)...and I also contacted with some friends since I first started this thread (Instant mesaging and phone).

Maybe it's pride or something, yup, somethings SO wrong with me.

[bee.]

mayhaps a little insecure but it's nothing fatal.

[Lavos]

@lavos: LMAO women have hurt you bad huh? XD

Most I have interacted with are liars and/or cowards.

[Cobra Commander]

That's a real shame. There must be a decent one out there somewhere.









Probably not.

[Lavos]

That's a real shame. There must be a decent one out there somewhere.









Probably not.

No it is possible. I have a female friend who has been honest with me and isn't a coward, but no real interest in me. Just means less headaches for me really.

[.Kuro]

Most I have interacted with are liars and/or cowards.

There are decent women but most people will say that it's like looking for a four-leaf clover but I don't agree with that. I somehow managed to live sorrounded by women daily and caught up with their psicology in some sort of a way. I always tried to remain in a neutral position while these women discused on men (and they wouldn't speak of us too highly, either). I dated some liars and cowards and they all had one thing in common: they weren't friends before or after the relationship.

Almost all my friends are girls, most of them under my age and three of them are older. The older they are, the more complicated they get.

[RaShayRitto]

Most I have interacted with are liars and/or cowards.

most of the ones i know are really awesome friends/companions/people in general. the most surefire way to make sure you dont meet a good one is to take a negative stance on all of them based on some isolated experiences.

best of luck to you and the OP on his problem