BALDRSKY - Restoration ~Chinmoku no Sora~

[AzureDark]

Huh? Who said admins don't ever post in LD?

This is probably an indirect request from fellow I've freaks... I know, it's a quicktrans, so it's probably not quite up to scratch yet. I'm just showing my poetic liberty at places where I shouldn't really do it...

KOTOKO - Restoration ~Chinmoku no Sora~ (Restoration ~Sky of Silence~)
Written by KOTOKO
Composed, Arranged by C.G mix
Performed by KOTOKO

黒白(こくびゃく)に磨かれた光がこの身貫いて
目を閉じる間もここには無い
傷ついた君はまだ　青い空　探していたね
崩れゆく未来　一片の夢を拾い上げ
kokubyaku ni migakareta hikari ga kono mi tsuranuite
me wo tojiru ma mo koko ni wa nai
kizutsuita kimi wa mada aoi sora sagashite ita ne
kuzureyuku mirai ippen no yume wo hiroiage
The light that is adorned black and white strikes my body
There's no time to even blink
Though wounded, you're still searching for the blue sky
Picking up a shard of our dream in the crumbling future

失われる感情
繰り返す焦燥
与えられた真実(リアル)
擬似模倣の羅列
裏路地に潜んでも
避けては通れない黒い雨
ushinawareru kanjou
kurikaesu shousou
ataerareta RIARU
gijimohou no raretsu
uraroji ni hisonde mo
sakete wa toorenai kuroi ame
Lost emotions
Repeating anxiety
The reality we're subjected to
The assembly of fakes and imitations [1]
The black rain we can't avoid
Even if we sought refuge in the detours

見つけ出して
ここにいるよ…
微かな声のragged soldier
遠い記憶
答えはきっと
僕らが忘れてしまった小さな時の中に隠れ
今も見守っている
後戻りするのも大きな勇気だと
千の悲しみを撒いたような
グレイの空に青描いて固く誓う
…"取り戻す"と
mitsukedashite
koko ni iru yo...
kasuka na koe no Ragged Soldier
tooi kioku
kotae wa kitto
bokura ga wasurete shimatta chiisana toki no naka ni kakure
ima mo mimamotte iru
atomodori suru no mo ookina yuuki da to
sen no kanashimi wo maita you na
GUREI no sora ni ao egaite kataku chikau
..."torimodosu" to
Come find me
I'm here...
(Cries a) ragged soldier with a faint voice
The answer to [2]
Our distant memories
Lies hidden in the shallow depths of time we had sadly forgotten
And is still watching over us
So even if we have to turn back, there is great courage in it
We firmly swear that
We'll paint this grey sky that rains us with a thousand sorrows blue
...our "restoration"

時もまた流れには逆らえぬ無力な存在
なら、流される僕らはなんだ？
幻想は脳の中　幾重にも重なり縺(もつ)れ
打ち消しあって　慰めあい　また増えてゆく
toki mo mata nagare ni wa sakaraenu muryoku na sonzai
nara, nagasareru bokura wa nan da?
gensou wa nou no naka ikue ni mo kasanarimotsure
uchikeshiatte nagusameai mata fuete yuku
If even time itself is a powerless existence that can't reverse its flow
Then what are we, the ones that get passed along?
Illusions are inside our brains - millions of them piled up and tangled together
They erase each other out, but then grow more after consoling with themselves

求め奪う愛情
溢れ出した衝動
歪み消える倫理(モラル)
理想具現の反動
行き先の見えない回路を断つ剣を探してる
motomeubau aijou
afuredashita shoudou
yugamikieru MORARU
risoukugen no handou
yukisaki no mienai kairo wo tatsu ken wo sagashiteru
Affections that steal what they yearn for
Impulse that overflows
Bent morals that soon disappear
Reactions from personifications of ideals
Trying to find the sword that'll cut open this cycle that seems to have no end in sight

思い出して
僕らはずっと
未来(あした)を見てたflying soldier
遠い記憶
心しびれ微(かす)かに触れても気付かないのなら
強く抱きしめてやる
伝えるよ　何度も
閉ざされた扉の鍵は胸(ここ)にあると
天に星達が降り注ぐ
あの日の夜空をいつか
この頭上高く　取り戻すと
omoidashite
bokura wa zutto
ashita wo miteta Flying Soldier
tooi kioku
kokoro shibire kasuka ni furete mo ki'zukanai no nara
tsuyoku dakishimete yaru
tsutaeru yo nando mo
tozasareta tobira no kagi wa koko ni aru to
ten ni hoshitachi ga furisosogu
ano hi no yozora wo itsuka
kono zujou takaku torimodosu to
But remember
We had always been
Flying soldiers who look towards tomorrow
If you're still perplexed by
Your distant memory and can't feel me when I touch you softly
Then I'll hold you tight
And tell you as many times as you want
The key to the sealed door is here inside
The night sky of that day
Along with its stars glimmering from the heavens
We'll someday restore them high above our heads

見つけ出して
思い出して
呼吸してるその意味を
遠い記憶　感じられるよ
僕らが迷い戦った道には
光る欠片落ちて
全てを導く
真実にも決して瞳そらさないで
千の喜びが風に舞い
僕らは見るだろう
目の前にずっとあった青い空を
mitsukedashite
omoidashite
kokyuu shiteru sono imi wo
tooi kioku kanjirareru yo
bokura ga mayoitatakatta michi ni wa
hikaru kakera ochite
subete wo michibiku
shinjitsu ni mo kesshite hitomi sorasanaide
sen no yorokobi ga kaze ni mai
bokura wa miru darou
me no mae ni zutto atta aoi sora wo
Look out for
And try to recall
The reason why we're breathing
We can feel our distant memories
A piece of shining fragment drops
On the road we had wandered and fought in
And leads everyone
So never avert your eyes from the reality
A thousand happinesses are dancing in the wind
We are surely watching
The blue sky that's been in front of us all along

呼びかける君の声
目を覚ます無数の瞳に
この広い空が映りますように…
yobikakeru kimi no koe
me wo samasu musuu no hitomi ni
kono hiroi sora ga utsurimasu you ni...
To the countless eyes
That rise to your voice
Please unveil them this broad sky...

---

(Wonderful song. Cryptic, yes, but I still declare this the next Face of Fact. The song tells that the journey is always worth more than the goal, a lesson I learned recently myself.)

Generally, the bridges are hanging nouns; I don't know how to make them proper sentences. I also rearranged the lines in the choruses so if you're not comfortable with this please tell me.

[1] Literally a "fake number sequence" or something...
[2] In my experience こたえ doesn't mean a simple "answer" (i.e. to a question) anymore in this sort of context. So what is it and how should I translate it into English?
[3] This whole stanza makes the least sense... Please help.
[4] I can't seem to find the right word for this...

Also, if you have any problems with my previous t/ls don't hesitate to contact me. I'm not that scary. I'm not that awesome of a translator too.

[EJTranslations]

Ooh, I didn't realize this was out. Must track it down.

>Even if we took alternate routes

I know this is poetic license, but I'm not sure this really captures the feeling of the original -- it just seems... a bit plain compared to something like "even if we hid (from it) in the back streets." Personal preference, though.

>bokura ga wasurete shimatta chiisana toki no naka ni kakure
>ima mo mimamotte iru

You seem to have skipped "ima mo mimamotte iru" in your translation -- I'm pretty sure it refers to the "遠い記憶 答えはきっと" as well.

>So what are we, the ones that are flown through?

I know "flown" sounds like it should be a form of "flow," but it's actually a form of "fly". "To be flowed through" actually sounds really weird in English -- maybe say "the ones who are caught/trapped in the flow"? Though that's a pretty liberal interpretation.

>理想具現の反動

Where are you getting "placeholder idols"? I'd read it as "embodiments of ideals".

Sorry, this is a little disorganized and probably not very helpful, and I didn't answer most of your questions. I'm quite tired right now. Maybe I'll take another look at this tomorrow.

[AzureDark]

I know this is poetic license, but I'm not sure this really captures the feeling of the original -- it just seems... a bit plain compared to something like "even if we hid (from it) in the back streets." Personal preference, though.
Yeah I felt the same way when I revised it - and especially when I didn't catch the 潜む part at all.


You seem to have skipped "ima mo mimamotte iru" in your translation -- I'm pretty sure it refers to the "遠い記憶 答えはきっと" as well.
I actually put it inside
>(Because) we're still guarding our stern oath
As for it being a part of the earlier sentence than the latter one I have a feeling that you're right...


I know "flown" sounds like it should be a form of "flow," but it's actually a form of "fly". "To be flowed through" actually sounds really weird in English -- maybe say "the ones who are caught/trapped in the flow"? Though that's a pretty liberal interpretation.
...Ah you're right there, I fail at English. "Flowed" makes the sentence less romantic too. I'll think of something...


Where are you getting "placeholder idols"? I'd read it as "embodiments of ideals".
Ooh nice, because at that point I was dead of vocab so I couldn't give it a hard thought.

[Datenshi]

I've been looking forward to this game for a while.

Wow, this song does acrobatics grammatically and you seem to have handled it almost perfectly. I'll just offer a few minor points regarding interpretation.

>黒白(こくびゃく)に磨かれた光がこの身貫いて
>The light that is adorned black and white strikes my body
磨かれた is "polished", so it should correctly be "The light that is polished black and white...". Of course (typically!) that makes little sense literally, so I think you can get away with "adorned" as a case of poetic license.

>擬似模倣の羅列
>The fake numbers that don't add up [1]
擬似 and 模倣 are two words that both mean approximately the same thing; fakes or imitations. The line is simply saying the same thing twice for effect. 羅列 is a line/row or a list.
-> An assembly of fakes and imitations

>時もまた流れには逆らえぬ無力な存在
>なら、流される僕らはなんだ？
>Unable to reverse the flow of time, is our powerless existence [3]
>So what are we, the ones that get passed along?
The problem seems to be that you're cutting the lines at the wrong places. 時もまた / 流れには逆らえぬ無力な存在なら[ば] / 流される僕らはなんだ? It also helps if you take 時 as the personified subject of the first line.
-> If time too / is a powerless existence [that is] unable to reverse flow / [Then] what are we (i.e. what does that make us), the ones that get passed along?

>幻想は脳の中　幾重にも重なり縺(もつ)れ
>打ち消しあって　慰めあい　また増えてゆく[I]
>The illusions are inside our brains - millions of them piled up and tangled together
>We erase some of them off, then make more of them by consoling each other
The subject of the second line is still 「幻想」.
->The illusions are inside our brains - millions of them piled up and tangled together
[By] erasing each other and consoling each other, they [further] increase in number

>求め奪う愛情
>Grab-and-run affections [4]
I'm afraid I can only tell you how I'd phrase it. Literally;
-> Love that desires and [then] takes
If I were to employ a little poetic license,
-> Love that robs what it desires

>思い出して
>僕らはずっと
>未来(あした)を見てたflying soldier
>But remember
>We will always be
>Flying soldiers who look towards tomorrow
「見てた」 is in past tense, which means the line should be rewrote like this;
-> But remember,
We had always been
Flying soldiers who looked towards tomorrow

Overall a stolid work of translation. I hope that helps a bit.

[AzureDark]

Ah wonderful, just the person I needed~


磨かれた is "polished", so it should correctly be "The light that is polished black and white...".
Yeah... that was me who mixed up 磨く and 纏う ._.;;


The problem seems to be that you're cutting the lines at the wrong places. 時もまた / 流れには逆らえぬ無力な存在なら[ば] / 流される僕らはなんだ? It also helps if you take 時 as the personified subject of the first line.
If only 時 took は as its particle it wouldn't have been so confusing... and wow, with this way the whole thing made a lot more sense!

No qualms with the rest, but there's just one thing (I'm probably opening a can of worms on this):-
>見つけ出して
>思い出して
>呼吸してるその意味を
>遠い記憶__　感じられるよ
I previously put down the dropped particle there as に making it
>In our distant memories
>We can feel the reason why we're breathing
>Searching
>Remembering
But thinking about this sentence again, 感じられる doesn't fit since it's not その意味が. So would the missing particle be something else, or is it just that the song rapes so much grammar we should just leave it as it is?

[Datenshi]

>見つけ出して
>思い出して
>呼吸してるその意味を
>遠い記憶__　感じられるよ
>In our distant memories
>We can feel the reason why we're breathing
>Searching
>Remembering

Ah, it's good of you to mention that, because I totally missed it.

>見つけ出して 思い出して 呼吸しているその意味を
First of all, if you look closely, you'll notice this line is actually an inverted sentence, and should be set apart from the proceding line (i.e. 「遠い記憶…」). This means that the line should, in fact, be read like this:

> 呼吸しているその意味を　見つけ出して　思い出して

Which also follows that it makes more sense to interpret the 「～して」 in 「見つけ出して」　and 「思い出して」, not as a modification of the present tense 「～してる」 as we have it now, but as an imperative (as in, 貸して="lend me" etc.).

Hence, the line would translate as
-> "Search [yourself], [and] remember, the reason why you're breathing

And now we see that, with the second line cut off from the first line, the missing particle in the second line can't be anything other than 「を」 (which brings us back to the original question), which means the line would read:

>遠い記憶を感じられるよ
-> We can feel [our] distant memories

So put together, the phrase should translate to something like this:

"Search, and remember, the reason why you're breathing
We can feel our distant memories"

[AzureDark]

I pondered that one all night long and came to the same conclusion. What put me off was how KOTOKO makes long sentences that are three lines long in some parts and then short ones in others; the last chorus is so disjointed there's rarely a common subject (first "you" then "we" then "something shiny" then "you" then "happiness in the wind" then back to "we"...).

I'll wait for awhile before finalising, thanks everyone~