Polyrhythm (Globe)

[level up]

Hi. I'm brand spanking new here and thought I might submit this song, but I'm not very confident in my skills (just learning), so I thought I'd ask for input first. I've seen two translations on different sites and they're pretty significantly different than mine, which makes me a little anxious (but they're also pretty different from each other, lol, which makes me feel a little better).


ポリリズム PERFUME
Polyrhythm

とても大事な 　キミの想いは
無駄にならない 　世界は廻る
ほんの少しの 　僕の気持ちも
巡り巡るよ

totemo daijina　kimi no omoi wa
muda ni naranai 　sekai wa mawaru
honno sukoshi no　boku no kimochi mo
meguri meguru yo

Your precious feelings
Won't be lost. The world spins,
And just a little, my feelings too
Go round and round.


繰り返す 　このポリリズム
あの衝動は 　まるで恋だね
繰り返す　いつかみたいな
あの光景が 　甦るの
繰り返す 　このポリリズム
あの反動が 　うそみたいだね
繰り返す 　このポリループ
ああプラスチック 　みたいな恋だ

kurikaesu kono poririzumu
ano shoudou wa maru de koi da ne
kurikaesu itsuka mitai na
ano koukei ga yomigaeru no
kurikaesu kono poririzumu
ano handou ga uso mitai da ne
kurikaesu kono poriruupu
aa purasutekku mitai na koi da

It keeps repeating; this polyrhythm.
That impulse; isn't it just like love?
It keeps repeating; as if someday
That scene will be revived.
It keeps repeating; this polyrythm.
That reaction; isn't it just like a lie?
It keeps repeating; this polyloop,
This plastic-like love.

また繰り返す このポリリズム
このポリリズム このポリリズム....　

mata kurikaesu kono poririzumu
kono poririzumu kono poririzumu ....

It repeats again; this polyrhythm,
This polyrhythm, this polyrhythm....


ほんの少しの 僕の気持ちが
キミに伝わる そう信じてる
とても大事な キミの想いは
無駄にならない 世界は廻る
ほんの少しの 僕の気持ちも
巡り巡るよ

honno sukoshi no boku no kimochi mo
kimi ni tsutawaru sou shinjiteru
totemo daijina kimi no omoi wa
muda ni naranai sekai wa mawaru
honno sukoshi no boku no kimochi mo
meguri meguru yo

Just a little, my feelings too
Will pass on to you; I believe it.
Your precious feelings
Won't be lost. The world spins,
And just a little, my feelings too
Go round and round.

繰り返す このポリリズム
あの行動は　まるで恋だね
繰り返す　 いつかみたいな
あの感動が 甦るの
繰り返す 　このポリリズム
あの反動が うそみたいだね
繰り返す このポリループ
ああプラスチック みたいな恋だ
また繰り返す このポリリズム

kurikaesu kono poririzumu
ano koudou wa maru de koi da ne
kurikaesu itsuka mitai na
ano kandou ga yomigaeru no
kurikaesu kono poririzumu
ano handou ga uso mitai da ne
kurikaesu kono poriruupu
aa purasutekku mitai na koi da
mata kurikaesu kono poririzumu

It keeps repeating; this polyrhythm.
Those actions; aren't they just like love?
It keeps repeating; as if someday
Those deep feelings will be revived.
It keeps repeating; this polyrythym.
That reaction; isn't it just like a lie?
It keeps repeating; this polyloop,
This plastic-like love.
It repeats again; this polyrhythm...


Thanks,
level up

[EJTranslations]

>purasutekku
It's purasuchikku, isn't it?

Also, I would suggest using something like "won't be/aren't for nothing" or "won't be/aren't in vain" for "無駄にならない"; "won't be lost" isn't wrong, of course, but it kind of lacks 無駄になる's connotation of something being wasted (if... that makes sense).

Other than that, though, this looks fine to me.

ETA: Also, other translations being different isn't always a sign that you're off-base. Translation is far from being an exact science, and songs are especially open to interpretation. Add to that the fact that Japanese is linguistically very, very different from English, and... well, if you give any five J>E translators the same song, you'll probably get five wildly different translations. It's just the nature of the thing.

[level up]

>purasutekku
>It's purasuchikku, isn't it?

Oops, I *so* need a proofreader. Thanks!

>Also, I would suggest using something like "won't be/aren't for nothing"
>or "won't be/aren't in vain"

Yeah, I like "aren't in vain"; that's definitely better.

>Other than that, though, this looks fine to me.

Thank you for your kindness :-)
I am teaching myself, so I am always waiting for someone who actually knows what they're doing to say "wow, you're really dumb, aren't you", lol.