Ann Lewis - Roppongi Shinjuu

[EJTranslations]

I'm on break from college and bored. Have another translation.

だけど心なんて　お天気で変わるのさ
長いまつげがヒワイね貴方
罪な目つきをしてさ　命あげますなんて
ちょっと場末のシネマしてるね

dakedo kokoro nante o-tenki de kawaru no sa
nagai matsuge ga HIWAI ne anata
tsumi na metsuki o shite sa inochi agemasu nante
chotto basue no SHINEMA shite'ru ne

But hearts change with the weather [1]
Your long eyelashes are obscene, aren't they?
Give me a sinful look, and I'll give you my life
It's like something from a movie in a cheap cinema [2]

この街は広すぎる　BIG CITY IS A LONELY PLACE
ひとりぼっちじゃ　街の灯りが　人の気を狂わせる

kono machi wa hirosugiru BIG CITY IS A LONELY PLACE
hitoribocchi ja machi no akari ga hito no ki o kuruwaseru

This city is too big -- the big city is a lonely place
The city lights drive lonely people mad

桜吹雪に　ハラハラすがり
貴方無しでは　生きてゆけぬ
自惚れないで　言葉じゃダメさ
男らしさを　たてておくれ

sakurafubuki ni HARAHARA sugari
anata nashi de wa ikite yukenu
unuborenaide kotoba ja DAME sa
otokorashisa o tatete okure

In the storm of cherry blossoms, I cling to you, heart pounding
I can't go on living without you
Don't be conceited -- words are useless
Build up your manliness [3]

遊び相手となら　お手玉も出来るけど
いつか本気になるのが怖い
年下のくせしてさ　ヤキモチやくなんて
貴方売れないジゴロみたいね

asobiaite to nara o-tedama mo dekiru kedo
itsuka honki ni naru no ga kowai
toshi shita no kuse shite sa YAKIMOCHI yaku nante
anata urenai JIGORO mitai ne

When you're with your playmate, you can just toss beanbags
But the thought of someday becoming serious is frightening
Because you're younger than me, I'm jealous
I won't sell you like a gigolo

夜更けに目を覚ませば　BIG CITY IS A LONELY PLACE
人の寝息が　ベッドにあれば　夢の続きが見れる

yofuke ni me o samaseba BIG CITY IS A LONELY PLACE
hito no neiki ga BEDDO ni areba yume no tsudzuki ga mieru

If you wake up in the middle of the night, the big city is a lonely place
But if you can hear someone breathing beside you in bed, you can go on dreaming
　　　　　
そっと横顔　息詰めてみる
貴方無しでは　生きてゆけぬ
明日になれば　陽はまたのぼる
女ですもの　泣きはしない

sotto yokogao ikidzumete miru
anata nashi de wa ikite yukenu
ashita ni nareba hi wa mata noboru
onna desu mono naki wa shinai

Turning my head to the side, I try stifling my breath
I can't go on living without you
When tomorrow comes, the sun will rise again
I'm a big girl, I won't cry

桜吹雪に　ハラハラすがり
貴方無しでは　生きてゆけぬ
自惚れないで　言葉じゃダメさ
男らしさを　たてておくれ

sakurafubuki ni HARAHARA sugari
anata nashi de wa ikite yukenu
unuborenaide kotoba ja DAME sa
otokorashisa o tatete okure

In the storm of cherry blossoms, I cling to you, heart pounding
I can't go on living without you
Don't be conceited -- words are useless
Build up your manliness

[1] Is it "your heart" or "my heart"?
[2] Not sure what this line is saying.
[3] "Manliness" seems like... a silly word to use here, but I can't think of any good synonyms.

[AzureDark]

This is quite a bipolar song... so it's hard to express the translation in a consistent way in terms of the emotion and wording to use.

[1] Probably in general. The subject of the whole song is only mentioned in the following line.

[2] It refers to the line before that. Remember that 'nante' is often a sentence link.
That sounds a bit like something from a movie shown by derelict* cinemas
*Or cheap/low-rate? Or maybe even obscure ones, but the point is it's "not the usual".

[3] BE A MAN! /Russell Peters
Er, be creative! "Show some brawn", "Get a grip on your manly side", "Shape that masculinity up" (literal), "Don't be a sissy" (negation) etc... since the character of the song is pretty loose, it gives you the opportunity to experiment.

[EJTranslations]

Yeah, I know what you mean -- I took a lot of liberties with it.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. I'll keep thinking about the 男らしさ thing until I come up with something I like.

[Datenshi]

>長いまつげがヒワイね貴方
>罪な目つきをしてさ　命あげますなんて
>Your long eyelashes are obscene, aren't they?
>Give me a sinful look, and I'll give you my life

I think you're being fooled by the 「さ」 in the middle, as well as missing the 「～（だ）なんて」 (which usually has something abbhreviated behind it) in the second line. The subject never changes.

The structure of the sentence is: 「罪な目つきをして＋命あげますなんて（言って）」.

-> "Your long eyelashes are obscene, aren't they?
Assuming a sinful look, (and) telling (me) you'll give (me) your life"

>桜吹雪に　ハラハラすがり
>In the storm of cherry blossoms, I cling to you, heart pounding

This is a confusing line, and I understand why you took some liberties with it, but personally I would translate it literally.

I take the line as a metaphor. The irony is in clinging to the 桜吹雪 (storm of cherry blossoms), which symbolizes what appears at first glance to be strong and tangible, but is in reality weak and powerless. Perhaps you have caught it, but note that there is a pun involved as well (ハラハラ = the sound of falling cherry blossoms + heart pounding).

-> "Heart pounding, I cling to the storm of cherry blossoms"

>年下のくせしてさ　ヤキモチやくなんて
>貴方売れないジゴロみたいね
>Because you're younger than me, I'm jealous
>I won't sell you like a gigolo

Notice that the structure is identical to the line above; 「罪な目つきをしてさ　命あげますなんて / ちょっと場末のシネマしてるね」. Again, the subject does not change throughout.

Also, you missed the 「～(の)くせして」 (in spite of~), and the 「～なんて」 which implies a light disbelief.

As for the second line, you seem to have cut the line into two parts, 「貴方売れない / ジゴロみたいね」, which must have been the cause for confusion. It makes more sense to think of it in terms of 「売れないジゴロ」 (a gigolo that won't sell, or is out of fashion).

-> "Despite that you're younger than me, you're being jealous(!)
You're just like a gigolo that won't sell".

>そっと横顔　息詰めてみる
>Turning my head to the side, I try stifling my breath

「横顔」 means "a face viewed in profile, or from the side". From that, we can deduce that it makes far more sense to read the 「みる」　at the end of the line as 「見る」.

Hence, the line should be read as:
「そっと横顔（を）見る＋息を詰めて」

The narrarator is viewing the face of her lover from the side (probably after sleeping together), and is stifling/holding her breath (presumably so as not to wake him).

-> "I watch your face in profile, holding my breath"

[EJTranslations]

Ahh, thanks. As usual, your comments are very helpful.