Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto~Natsu no Sora~ - Fly Away

[Rizuchan]

This song seems simple enough, but its causing me a world of grief...
(Also, I typed up the kanji myself from a site that has the lyrics contained in flash files, so if it looks like I screwed up somewhere please let me know)

good night Days, good old Days
帰らないと誓った日から眠らせた記憶
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
会いたくなるなんて 悔しかった 強がってたのね
続いてくUp and Down ここでそっと寄り道 see you again
good night Days, good old Days
Since the day I swore I'd never come back, I've put my memories to rest
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
Though I've come to miss you, I regret that I had pretended to be strong
continuing up and down, I'll quietly drop by to see you, see you again

あの坂を登ったら見える景色 夏のdrive好きだった
風の匂いもBGMも全てが 今も記憶の中
When we go up that hill, I can see the scenery of the summer drive I loved so much
The scent of the wind, the background music, all of it is in my memory, even now

駈け出した坂道で 錆びた「closed」越えfly away
I ran up that hill, past the rusted "closed" sign and flew away[1]

good night Days, good old days
帰らないと誓った日から眠らせだけよ
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
会いたくなるなんて 悔しかった 強がってたのね
ここに立てば見える 夢描いた青いキャンバスsee you again
good night Days, good old Days
Since the day I swore I'd never come back, I've put my memories to rest
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
Though I've come to miss you, I regret that I had pretended to be strong
continuing up and down, I'll quietly drop by to see you, see you again

憧れの場所 戦場という真実 コワい顔ばかりなの
オブジェみたいに高層ビル囲む木が「仕方ない」って笑った
The place where my desires are is actually called a battlefield, full of nothing but evil faces
Objects like skyscrapers surround the trees, "It can't be helped" I laughed[2]

飛び出したあの街は あったかい記憶のままかなぁ?
Is that town that flew away still a warm memory?[3]

good night Days, good old Days
帰らないと誓った日から眠らせだけよ
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
会いたくなるなんて 悔しかった 強がってたのね
続いてくUp and Down ここでそっと寄り道
good night Days, good old Days
Since the day I swore I'd never come back, I've put my memories to rest
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
Though I've come to miss you, I regret that I had pretended to be strong
continuing up and down, I'll quietly drop by to see you

たったひとつ 希望だけ詰め込んできたバッグ
それだけじゃ足りないってこと知ったの
重たくなって倒れたって
離さないのは あの日・・・
I'm stuffing only my one desire into my bag
I know that just that is enough
That day is becoming heavy, it's collapsing
But it hasn't separated[4]

good night Days, good old days
飛びたいと願った日から 強くなる約束
good night Days, good old days
Since the day I wanted to fly away, I promised to become stronger

good night Days, good old Days
帰らないと誓った日から眠らせた記憶
good night Days, good old Days
Since the day I swore I'd never come back, I've put my memories to rest

ah knock on the Days, good old Days
会いたくなるなんて 悔しかった 強がってたけど
また坂を登り 夢描こう青いキャンバスsee you again
続いてくUp and Down ここでそっと寄り道 see you again
ah knock on the Days, good old Days
Though I've come to miss you, I regret that I had pretended to be strong, but
I'm climbing the hill again, so I'll paint my dream on a blue canvas, see you again
Continuing up and down, I'll quietly drop by to see you, see you again

[1] There's nothing actually here about a sign, but I assume it's implied?
[2] This whole stanza I'm rather unsure about. Also, who is it that's laughing?
[3] A town can't 'fly' of course... by 'fly' does it mean something like "the town that disappeared as we drove away"?
[4]That seems to be what it says, but it doesn't make any sense to me.

[AzureDark]

1) The quotes that goes with "closed" implies it's in writing i.e. as you say a sign, but in my case I'd put brackets on "sign" in the trans to signify it isn't literally said in the song but should ease stuff with understanding the translation.

2) There must be a significance with trees in whatever the song is in... anyway, the 'ga' on those trees signify that they're the ones who are talking and laughing/smiling. (I tend to put smile for 笑う often because 'laugh' doesn't fit with some of my translations.)

3) I dunno, but maybe 'tobidashita' is by the singer, then the sentence changes to "the town I got away from".

4) You missed the previous line where the thing that's getting heavy is the bag, i.e. the singer's been putting too much hope (and nothing else) into it. --たって in 倒れたって is the stronger form of 倒れても, thus implies the singer just has to persevere with the bag because of the next line, "can't let go of that day".

[Rizuchan]

1. Alright, thanks. I may or may not put it in brackets, just because "...past the rusted "closed" [sign] and flew away" looks kinda tacky to me. That's a pretty horrible excuse, isn't it? :laugh:

2. I was thinking the trees at first too, but it didn't feel right at the time. Now that I'm looking at that line with a different mindset it makes perfect sense to me. Also, I think "laugh" is appropriate here because the trees are talking... does that make sense? You wouldn't write "'It can't be helped,' they smiled.'" you would write "'It can't be helped,' they laughed." It's not really important, I just felt the need to explain myself.

3. I reworded that line a bit differently and I think it's a lot more clear now.
"Is that town that flew by still a warm memory?"
I think that's what the lyricist was going for, since this song has a sort of traveling motif.

4. Thanks, that makes a lot more sense. I feel kinda stupid for not seeing that. :p

Anyway, unless someone else has something to add, I suppose I'll be submitting this song soon.

Speaking of which, would it be better to submit this song under a new show, or under the first Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto with the collection name "Natsu no Sora"? It's a spin-off and has nothing to do with the original other than the setting, but I don't think it'll have any insert songs or anything, probably just an opening and ending.

[AzureDark]

2. Yea "laughed" would be better here. I only mentioned the smile thingy because I often did romantic songs and "smile" is a better choice than "laugh" in those cases.

3. Yes that looks right. You've put it in such a way that you kept the meaning intact and at the same time lost the focus on the "fleeing" town so that it doesn't become an active object.

Yea just put it in with the first one to make the site less crowded. Don't put it under a collection though, put "Natsu no Sora OP" on the description.