View Full Version : [Challenge] #3: Thunderstorm

07-11-2008, 09:19 PM
Nothing too strict this time around. Your story/scene must take place during a thunderstorm. It's up to you how much role the storm has, and whether or not you use it to set the mood (always good) or to display some characterization. All I ask is that it be set during the storm, meaning you'll have to mention it somewhere.

Refer to this thread (http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=74702) for a list of previous challenges.

07-27-2008, 01:23 AM
Random scene. xD But I'll probably be using this somewhere in the near future as a jumping board for a new writing project.



That was the sound produced by doomsday machine number 3, fondly nicknamed “Bertha” for reasons unknown, when it was powered up. It siphoned power from the raging thunderstorm silently, converted the energy silently, and blasted it all out silently. Theoretically, Bertha was running on a hundred percent efficiency; a capability her creators spent countless years perfecting.

From the silence – which meant that energy wasn’t being expended on the production of sound – the four engineers took it to mean that they had succeeded in building the perfect doomsday machine. Around this time next week, by their reckoning, the whole world would be in flames. This gave the four of them a lovely warm feeling around the general region of their hearts.

Somewhere out of sight, a raindrop dripped innocently from a crack from the ceiling and, through a series of freak coincidences, fell on a small piece of insulated wiring on Bertha and dropped her efficiency from a 100% to 99.99%. If the engineers had known about this, they probably would have gone into shock.

However, they didn’t, and so nothing was done to remedy the problem. And so Bertha was left running to her own devices. Which meant that a week later she didn’t do what the engineers expected of her, which was torch the atmosphere and render the planet uninhabitable, but instead kept on her silent vigil. The engineers would have probably done something about it if they all hadn’t killed themselves already in anticipation of the hell they had envisioned.


To this day, that is all that can be heard from Bertha. No one really knows what it is she’ll do or what’s going to happen to the world once she finally does it. All that is certain is that it probably has something to do with flooding the planet, because after her activation there’s been nothing but bloody thunderstorms.





And because I realize how weak this scene is by itself, I'm going to try to bridge it with something. Hopefully.

07-31-2008, 09:53 AM
my turn...Alright here I gooooooo

It was raining elctricity voltage shooting from the skies as I peered out my window. The young siblings and my mother were out in hawaii enjoying their time while I was stuck home because I had overslept. The loud boom shook me up a bit and made me shiver. Suddenly a loud crash was heard down stairs and a shout of some colorful words. I looked towards the door and grabbed my bat. Silently I went down the steps holding the bat high above my head trembling with fear as i began to see a figure coming into view. It looked to have been a cloaked person he looked very handsome as it viewed from my perspective. I looked at him next to him was another male then i recognized them...a rapist wanted for stealing young girls like my soul and a ghost most couldn't see him it was a gift from an old friend instantly i pulled the house phone out and picked it up for a signal but it was dead. I heaved a deep breath in and exhaled quietly. Suddenly a sly idea popped into my head. I ran up stairs silently and pulled out a small blade attaching it to the inside of my sleeve. Walking down the steps I put on an innocent looking face I walked down. "W-who's there?" I said as if I was frightend. I peered at them and walked infront of them. "Who are you?" I said as if I was entraced by his handsome face and could not see the ghost by his side. "Oh my young dear would you mind if I spent the night here I have no where to go and im looking for a girlfriend I hope you wouldn't mind me staying here." The young cloaked man said his charcoal eyes flickering with excitement. "Oh sure I guess you can stay in the room next to mine it's a guest room no one really sleep in it since it's late at night you must be exausted..." I walked upstairs and pointed to the room. He smiled and walked in suddenly I felt him grab my hand an immediate blush arising to my face. In my head I knew he only wanted one thing so I began to losen my sleeve so that at an instant the blade could fall into my hand at any given moment. He pulled me close to him and began kissing me tugging me towards the bed speaking forbidden words of love and marrige pulling me onto the bed laying himself above me. I wrapped my arms around his neck slipping the blade out from my sleeve. "So you say you love me ay mister?" I said smiling lightly. "Yes very much." He said his eyes flicker with lies as the ghost beside him looked away laughing and saying. "The poor girl." "Hn you know I believe your lying." His eyes widened quickly I slitted his throat blood gushing at me. "How could you resist those type of lies." He said half dead already with only enough blood to listen to my last words to him. "Because dear love....because i've not been a virgin for a long time thanks to my beloved dead father..." I heaved another breathe and looked at the ghost laughing a bit. I smiled at the ghost and walked out the house being wet by rain and the thunder clashing in my ears soaking me by the rain washing the sinfull deeds i've done.

WOOOOOOO that was spooky

07-31-2008, 11:13 AM
WOW O_O I didn't know there were writing comps and things...I'll have a go...I apologize in advance for the appalling spelling; I really suck.

The room lights up with an odd white flicker; it lasts but a moment; the darkness engolfing it's small interior; it's sparse furnishins; wrapping it's arms around the small sofa, the tiny television, and the little brown table, which teeters on it's small legs like a frightened child in the corner.
The lights are out tonight; the thunderbolt struck home; the electricity cables leading up to this lone house on the hill; the house feels eerie, scary, almost lonely.
It can never quite be lonely here though.
I take a step into the small room; a tourch held in my hand, before I stop; I stand next to a sofa. I let my hand reach out and caress it's arm, making sure I have my barings.
A pain shoots through my heart as the light flashes around the room once more, I have found what I was searching for. Small sounds emitting from it's small mouth. The sounds tickle my ears and peirce my heart. I click on the tourch swiftly.
The light forms circles on the opposing wall, catching the corner of a painting, the top of the little table, the spiderweb at the corner of the window; spindle clinging on for dear life in the wind; the raindrops caught on it's sticky strings glittering like dimonds. If it survived 'till morning, it would be beautiful.
I tilt the torch towards the floor, it's light catching the teetering table; lighting up the chesnut top, then legs, and finally the underneath.
First I see golden hair; a lot of it, spilling fowards and backwards around her orb of a head; covering her face; red from crying. Her arms are clutched around her legs as she swings backwards and fowards in fright; she doesn't know how to react; this small child has never met thunder and lightning before.
I walk swiftly over, but am cautious; I do not want to frighten her more. Her head snaps up as she hears my footsteps approach; I come to a sudden halt. Reaching out slowly for her hand; aching to feel her soft skin come in to contact with mine; in comparison, my hands are like that of a carpenters, rough from the hard work - truly, I have never lifted a finger in my life. The only work I have ever done was labour for this child; some people have riches; but this timid little creature is the only fruit of my labour.
She is still sitting there, under the table, but she is reaching out towards me. Gladly I walk the last few steps, and lower myself to the ground, reaching out towards her, sliding underneath the small table next to her.
She lets go of her legs and falls onto me, catching my skirt in her hands, pulling me closer. I wrap my arms around her, snapping off the tourch and putting it beside me. I pull her gently onto my lap; trying again not to startle her - she is still so small, so fragile, so frightened.
Pulling her towards me, closer, I can hear her erratic heart beat, small as her tiny heart is; small as her tiny fist.
As the thunder growls outside, she wraps her podgy arms around me harder, my mere presence quenching a little of her fear of the 'monster' she sees in the storm. The room lights up once again, and I can see the fear in her eyes for a moment - her trusting eyes, peering up at me, 'save me?' she asks.
'Always', my eyes reply, Tucking her small head under my chin, as my mother once did to me. Although I feel a little foolish, I start to sing, recalling the sweet lullaby that used to destract me from the monsters that called to me from the outside.
Although the room was dark again; I was not lonely anymore. No, nowadays, I was never alone.

Uhhh, is that okay? o_O

07-31-2008, 03:06 PM
My turn I guess....I apologize for bad grammar or spelling I try to catch that stuff but it doesn't usually happen

A storm. Lightening ripped across the sky briefly illuminating the room where she sat. In response a great boom of thunder sounded. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine a conversation. "Hello, Thunder how are you today?"

"Not great. I'm ANGRY!" She giggled as a another spurt of lightening filled the air. The storm would eventually go away, she liked storms it covered the sounds. Their were always sounds, angry voices. She was never sure who they belonged to or why only she could hear them. Her parents usually laughed and said she had an active imagination.

Lightening lit up the room once more. Suddenly one of the angry voices could be heard over the weak rumble of thunder. "ALICE! ALICE GET BACK HERE!"

A woman's voice murmured something then a loud scream followed. The girl walked across her bedroom and shut the door. The storm had started to peter off so the loud sounds of thumps could be heard from downstairs. the door to her bedroom swung open as it was prone to do. She dived under her bed. She could see a pair of feet there were some dragging noises and she saw the bottom part of a woman's body. A man grunted from somewhere over her head.

The covers of her bed were lifted up and she got a good look at a very dead woman. She screamed and scrambled out from underneath her bed only to come face to face with her father. "Jenny? What are you doing?"


He was holding a knife. It was dripping with blood her young brain struggled to connect this with teh smiling man whom her father usually was. She tried to flee the room only to come across her mother. She had blood spattered all over her and looked infinitely more tired than was usual.

"I told you she'd be in here" Her mother said softly. "I'll take her to the bathroom..."

Two months later...

Parents Suspected of Murdering Missing Girl
The parents of young Jenny Godfrey have acted like the proper grieving parents. New evidence has coem to light however and the light of suspicion is thrown on them. There was a body found under the floorboards of the missing girl's room, at first the police thought it was the previous owners however the weapon that was used came from teh suspect's kitchen....

I actually first got this idea after reading about the girl, Madeline was it? who went missing it sorta followed more of what happened there and kinda evolved from there. I'm not sure how good it is.

Happi Giraffe!
08-02-2008, 04:33 PM
i will give this a try...

She just wanted to go out for a walk. A simple walk. Just around the neighborhood. That's all. But that's not what she got.

The day was nice and sunny. It was nice weather for a walk. The sun reflecting down on the Earth. A good feeling was in the air. The birds chirped. The wind blew. She was enjoying it all. Walking merrily down the street, as the cars passed her by. On and on she walked. And as she walked, everyone else continued on with their lives. The children played in their yards. The scent of barbecues and the sound of mingling filled the moment. Those who weren't enjoying the day, stayed inside with blinds closed, sheilding them from the streaming sunlight and delightful mood of the day. They sat and stressed. And on and on she walked. Inside one home, a family watches their television set. It was on the weather channel. The weather caster predicted sun for the remainder of the week. And on and on she walked. An elderly woman was tending to her garden, watering the seeds that would soon sprout, bloom, wilt, and then die. And on and on she walked. Down the street, a mail truck slowly moved forward, placing envelopes into the boxes. And in those envelopes were messages. Those messages may have stated hello's, thank you's, news, and warnings. And on and on she walked. One woman sat in her favorite lounging chair right next to her pool, feeling as carefree as can be. A sweet, sweet day it was. And on and on she walked.

It's amazing how so many things can change in the blink of an eye.

Suddenly, the clear blue sky began to darken. Clouds began to appear overhead. The sun was nowhere to be found. And on and on she walked.

The gardening woman headed inside. Her plants would be watered soon enough. The lounging lady shut the door behind her as she entered her home. The family that watched the weather report began to have second thoughts about if it was accurate. And all of the people who had only a moment ago enjoyed the beautiful day, returned into their dwellings to take cover. And on and on she walked.

Rain began to dampen the ground, first lightly, then heavily. Now, she begins to head home. A rainy day is no time for walking.

In the distance, rumbling was heard. Occassional lightning streaks filled the sky, eventually ending in load, thundering, booms. And on and on she walked.

As the storm began to grow stronger, she quickened her pace. She heard the thunder an saw the lightning. She couldn't tell how close it was. And on and on she walked.

Now she runs. Home is still far away. She does not feel safe. She is not safe.
The thunder booms. The lightning strikes. Closer and closer. She is scared. She is terrified. The lightning is closer...and closer...and closer...and she stops. Her body falls to the ground. Now she is safe. Now, she can't be scared or terrified again.

As quickly as the storm came, it went. Soon, the sun was shining down on the neighborhood. Some people returned to the outdoors and enjoyed basking in the sunlight of the moment. Everyone moves on with their own lives.

But she doesn't.

As she lays on the ground, a nearby walker gasps at the sight of her lifeless body. And everyone continues to live their lives happily.

And she does not walk on.