Clannad - Chiisa na Te no Hira

[EJTranslations]

I was surprised that there wasn't already a translation on the site for this song. Then I tried to translate it and realized it was a lot more difficult than I'd expected (not so much to understand it, but to render it in English in a way that doesn't sound stupid). That could just be me though.

Anyway, on to the translation! It is not a very good translation, and I'd like some help.

遠くで遠くで揺れてる稲穂の海
穂をあげ穂をあげ目指した思い出へと
僕らは今日までの悲しいこと全部覚えてるか　忘れたか

tooku de tooku de yurete'ru inaho no umi
ho o age ho o age mezashita omoide e to
bokura wa kyou made no kanashii koto zenbu oboete'ru ka wasureta ka

Far away, far away, the sea of rice plants wavers
Gathering the rice, gathering the rice, we aimed for the memory
Do we remember the sad things that have happened before today, or have we forgotten them?

小さな手にも いつからか 僕ら追い越してく強さ
熟れたブドウの下泣いてた日から歩いた
小さな手でも離れても 僕らはこの道行くんだ
いつか来る日は一番の思い出をしまって

chiisa na te ni mo itsu kara ka bokura oikoshite'ku tsuyosa
ureta BUDOU no shita naite'ta hi kara aruita
chiisa na te de mo hanarete mo bokura wa kono michi yuku n'da
itsuka kuru hi wa ichiban no omoide o shimatte

Even in this tiny hand, there could someday be strength surpassing our own
From the day I cried beneath the ripe grapes, I've walked
Even if my hand is small, even if we're separated, we'll walk this road
And on the day that will someday come, we will store away our best memories

季節は移り　もう冷たい風が
包まれて眠れ　あの春の歌の中で

kisetsu wa meguri mou tsumetai kaze ga
tsutsuarete nemure ano haru no uta no naka de

The seasons change; already the cold wind
Wraps around us and sleeps inside the song of that spring

小さな手にもいつからか 僕ら追い越してく強さ
濡れた頬にはどれだけの笑顔が映った
小さな手でも離れても僕らはこの道行くんだ
そして来る日は僕らも思い出をしまった

chiisa na te ni mo itsu kara ka bokura oikoshite'ku tsuyosa
nureta hoho ni wa dore dake no egao ga utsutta
chiisa na te de mo hanarete mo bokura wa kono michi yuku n'da
soshite kuru hi wa bokura mo omoide o shimatta

Even in this tiny hand, there could someday be strength surpassing our own
Those wet cheeks reflected a number of smiles
Even if my hand is small, even if we're separated, we'll walk this road
And on the new day we too stored away our memories

小さな手でもいつの日か僕ら追い越して行くんだ
やがて来る日は新しい季節を開いた

chiisa na te de mo itsu no hi ka bokura oikoshite yuku n'da
yagate kuru hi wa atarashii kisetsu o hiraita

Even this tiny hand will one day pass by us
And on the new day, a new season began

I'm kind of thrown by the past tense in the last lines of the last two stanzas -- you can't just stick "来る日" in the present tense and then put everything else in the past in English, but it's hard to put it in the past tense without sounding weird.

"小さな手でも離れても..." confuses me. Maybe I'm an idiot, maybe it's just late, but I'm not quite getting the syntax in that line. Same for "そして来る日は僕らも思い出をしまった" -- I just can't quite grasp how the sentence fits together.

Thanks in advance!

[Datenshi]

>穂をあげ穂をあげ目指した思い出へと
>Gathering the rice, gathering the rice, we aimed for the memory
I'd like to point out that gathering from the context this looks suspiciously like a pun on 帆(ほ)をあげる (raise sail), though I can't quite say how to incorporate that into the translation.

>小さな手でも離れても 僕らはこの道行くんだ
>Even with this tiny hand, even if we're separated, we'll walk this road
I think your take is correct to seperate the line as 「小さな手でも/離れても /ぼくらは...」.
= "Even if (my) hand is small, (and) even if (we're) seperated..."

>いつか来る日は一番の思い出をしまって
>And make the day that will someday come into our best memory

>そして来る日は僕らも思い出をしまった
>And then on the day that came we too made a memory (?)

These two lines are confusing, but I think it makes more sense to see it as いつか/そして来る日には. 思い出をしまう is another disconcerting phrase, but I think it's safe to put it as "store away (しまう=carefully put away, store away) our memories".

Also, note the difference between いつか来る/日 and そして/来る日. 来る日 means "a new day, the next day" (e.g. 来る日も来る日も... "day after day...". The lines are similar but mean entirely different things.

>いつか来る日は一番の思い出をしまって
= (And) on that day that is sure to come we will store away our best memories

>そして来る日は僕らも思い出をしまった
=(And) on the new day we too stored away out memories

[EJTranslations]

Thanks! That clears up a lot. The "帆をあげる" thing makes that line make a lot more sense, too, but I can't think how to incorporate it other than sticking it into a footnote.

I think the only reason why I had any trouble with the "小さな手でも離れても" line is because I assumed that the hand didn't belong to the singer -- the hand in the first line of that stanza definitely doesn't, but I guess there's no reason why the hand in the third line has to be the same as the one in the first.