View Full Version : Naruto Fanfiction: Suna no Ai: Chapter 7

06-21-2008, 10:31 AM
Wow 0_0, chapter seven. I really can't beleive it's moving this fast. But I guess, that's good. Waiting sucks. This one's a flashback :banghead: , but it's a "This happened last night and we're showing it to you now" flashback.

Suna and Gaara sat on the beach, looking out to the sunset. It would all be very romantic, but Gaara was clueless to the fact that Suna couldn’t stop glancing at him every few seconds.

She thought back to the day that Gaara stayed with her. She remembered Hotaru’s rant when he left.

FLASHBACK nuuuu! :eek:

“ARE YOU INSANE!?” screamed Hotaru, standing over Suna.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Suna, who was sitting cross-legged on the ground with her hands resting on the floor.


“And what does that title achieve?” asked Suna.

“Suna!” said Hotaru in disbelief, “He’s killed more people that he can count! Oh! And I forgot!”

She lowered her voice down to a whisper and leaned down close to Suna’s face.
“He’s the capsule for the Shukaku Sand Spirit!”

“So?” asked an innocent-looking Suna.
“SO!?” exclaimed Hotaru

“Look!” said Suna, standing up, “Do you remember that academy student that got captured last year? Who saved her? Gaara! What about that huge ship that attacked us this year? (second Naruto movie reference) Who put up a giant sand shield and saved all of us?!”

“Suna, I-” started Hotaru.

“It was Gaara!” exclaimed Suna.

Hotaru stared at Suna, who was breathing rather heavily.

“Gaara saved you, Gaara saved me, and he’s do it all again if it killed him! And, do you know who would care? Nobody!”

“Suna…” began Hotaru.

“Look in his eyes, Hotaru,” said Suna, calming down, “Just look in his eyes and tell me those are the eyes of a killer. You won’t be able to say he’s a killer if you look into his eyes. See him for once. You don’t even know him. Try talking to him. He’s a really nice guy! You just gotta give him a chance.”

“I’m sorry, Suna,” said Hotaru, “It’s just that, growing up I was told to stay away from him.”

“Look,” said Suna, “I’m not pretending the past didn’t happen, but when you look at him! You can see he’s not the same as he was three years ago. He’s sweet, and gentle, and polite. Please, give him a chance.”

“Ok,” said Hotaru, “I’ll take your word for it.”


But the chapter's over.:(

See you soon:laugh: !

06-21-2008, 06:28 PM
Nice. Okay I have think over something you could do better but I had to think long over it. Try to describe more details. You said "Hotaru was said in the past to avoid gaara". try to describe the details why and that he never understood why and so on. however I liked the chapter^^ that was only something to help you and don´t give unhelpful comments.

06-21-2008, 06:40 PM
Thanx! I'll try to be more detailed. Hope you weren't too confused.

I'm trying to tie it into the "Everybody is scared of Gaara theme", so that's why. Hotaru was raised to stay away from Gaara just like everyone else in the sand village. I'm just going on facts here. Parents told their kids to stay away from Gaara, especially those in his generation. Also, Gaara's violent nature before naruto brought on his change of heart only added to people's fears of him. You seem like you already know that, but i put this here incase anyone else gets confused.

Oh, and Hotaru's kinda a girl. Hotaru means "firefly" in Japanese. Still, I'll take your advice. I really appriciate your support and criticism. Stay tuned in! Mmmkay?